Letting go of abusive mother in law
By stephie2
@stephie2 (30)
United States
November 6, 2007 10:04am CST
When do you end your relationship with an abusive and mentally unstable mother in law? Mine is bipolar and has refused help for 20 years. She is manipulative and controlling with most of her children, mainly her daughters. She is not able to control my husband however, or myself, and she is already manic about the holidays coming up. I have had a smile on my face at every family function for 20 years out of respect for her but now, I cannot do it anymore. For my sake and my children who she is starting the manipulation on (they are 5 and 7). She was an abusive and neglectful mother when her children were growing up and so all of their relationships are strained. She has also alienated her neighbors, they have filed lawsuits against her for different reasons. My father in law basically doesn't speak so he is no help. So when do you say "enough is enough," until you get help. My father was an alcoholic(he died 15 years ago) and when we tried to get him help it was basically us or the alcohol and he chose us and got help. I feel the same way about her axcept she is in her 70s and probably not going to change. I believe that I can change by not being around her and her destructive ways. What do you all think?
4 responses
@rakheeraut15 (47)
• India
7 Nov 07
Purposely Mother-in-laws are always giving tensions bcoz their nature is to give trouble to daughter-in-laws only. In front of others my mother-in-law is pretending like a goooood woman, but actually she is world's worst lady. She is a bloody lier. My husband didn't know what she is actually but i told my husband the truth. He is very supportive and understood my problem. But still i don't want to meet or talk to my mother-in-law bcoz whatever she has done with me since beginning i can't forget it. She used to bring my parents name in between & used to insult me.Once she used one bad word for my husband in front of me and one of our neighbour. I think she doesn't love to my husband. He is earning handsome salary that's why she likes him otherwise not. She is fond of money and show business. She doesn't stay with me still she has given lot of problem. Now a days i m calling her over phone.If she wants to talk then only i"ll talk. I hate that lady this much taht i don't want to see her face also in my whole life. One day she was fighting with me over phone and 1st time after marriage i gave her one dose after that she didn't say like this to me till now. She deserves That dose. I"ll suggest everyone that don't allow your mother-in-laws to sit on your head otherwise you will loose your peace of mind.
@rahilahmad (4)
•
7 Nov 07
mother in law was very responsible 'for that so all have to corporate with her mother in law
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
7 Nov 07
Oh, stephie, you could be talking about my mother-in-law. I so understand the position you are in. My husband and I have had many of times where we just refuse to be around her until she starts acting "normal" again. Unfortunately if she won't get help the only thing left to do is protect yourself and your children from her manipulative ways. I think you are doing the right thing by understanding that you can't change your mother-in-law. The only person you can ever change is you. I wish there were something I could say to make it better for you. Just know that you are not alone!
@airlines (44)
• United States
7 Nov 07
I really hate when this happen to people why can't we all just get together be happy. I rather move out if it is becoming abusive.
