Niece's Stunt with Sidewalk Chalk...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
November 7, 2007 12:31am CST
Over the weekend I went to my oldest brothers house to help him with some things and managed to tick off my Niece to the point that she refused to speak to me :)
I went over on Saturday and when we went into her room, I noticed chalk writing all over the walls. My Brother said that she wanted her room repainted, he had said no so she wrote on the walls in hopes that he would have to paint over it. Later on, I noticed she also scribbled and wrote all over the side of her dressar.
When she got home, I got on to her (my Brother was there) and told her that she needed to get some soap and water and scrub it off. She didn't want to but when I came back Sunday it was all scrubbed off.
At first I was happy she'd gotten it done but then my Nephew came in the room and asked if he did a good job. When I asked him what he was talking about he told me that she had asked (or told) him to wash off the dressar and she did the wall. I was ticked off that she put her punishment off on him to do.
When she got back from the store I asked her about it and she eventually (after alot of hee-hawing around) admitted that he washed off the dressar. She claimed it was just a little spot (it wasn't) and went to her room. I went in and told her that what she did was wrong and that b/c he had done it for her that he was getting a special treat for doing it. She was MAD!! She claimed it wasn't fair b/c it was just a little spot...I told her then she should have done it in the first place and then it wouldn't be an issue. Then she turned on the tears which I told her only work on boys and her Daddy. She wouldn't speak to me for a good hour or so.
My Brother never did take her chalk away (it's sidewalk chalk) and he never did ground her for the stunt. I have a feeling though that this is just the beginning since she is just 12 (will be 13 in April). He just pretty much lets her do what she wants although he is strict with my Nephew.
Have you ever had a kid do anything like this? How would you have handled it?
"COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS"
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
10 people like this
31 responses
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
7 Nov 07
OMG, what do you mean she is just 12. The whole time I was reading that, I assumed she was about four or five years old. She is much to old to be acting like that. Is there a mother in the home. If your brother does not do something fast, in a few more years she will be totally out of control.
I know sometimes it is hard for fathers to relate to their daughters, but you guys had better come up with a plan fast. She is only going to get worse. I do not have any kids, but I stayed with my sister who had six, for three years. Chalk on the walls is not acceptable behavior for a twelve year old who can't have her walls painted. You guys need to go to work, ASAP.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
7 Nov 07
By "just 12" I meant that she has just started into the whole teenage section of trouble.
I agree that she is way too old to act like that and it makes me wonder how she views other ppl's property. If she will vandalize her own room, what about other ppl's belongings?
Their mother passed away when my nephew was a year old so there isn't a mother figure which is why my Mom and I tend to help out where we can.
I worry too about a couple more years and her being out of control. He just wants to pretty much wants to let them do what they want and then move out as soon as they are of age. I've tried talking to him but to be honest, I think he is just tired of trying to handle them. My Mom is kind of the same way...she gets tired of arguing so she just lets it go.
I'm just the opposite...I will argue and fight until things are done right. My foster kids all said I was the strictest foster parent they'd ever been with (some had been with dozens) yet they all loved that there were rules and routines everyday.
"COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS"
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
7 Nov 07
i AGREE. tHIS IS NOT THE ACTIONS OF A CHILD nearing her teen years. I also thought it was going to be a 6 to 8 yrear old maybe. You are correct this child could be some serious trouble in a couple years time with her "artistic" talent so to say.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
3 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
10 Nov 07
Kids long for limits and rules. It shows them that the parents care about them. If you let a child run wild and do whatever they want, it shows that you do not want to be bothered and kids pick up on that.
One day my nieces friend invited her over. When my niece started walking toward the gate to leave, the friend asked, Aren't you going to ask your mom if you can go? To which, my niece replied, my mom don't care.
It hurt my heart to hear her say that, but, I couldn't jump in and say anything because she was right. I would never raise my kids to be able to think or even assume that I did not care where they were at every minute of the day. I will be all in their business, all the time.
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
7 Nov 07
well my friend my kids are just babies still but even when they do something wrong i still give them time out or take away their toys or something.yes it was only chalk thank god but he should of punished her because she is walking all over him and he doesn't realize it,but then maybe he does i really dont know,but if he lets her get away with everything there is gonna be so many problems ahead.we all did our trouble when we were young and i am sure we all got away with stuff,bgut now adays things are just so different and i dont want my children to do half the stuff i did,because of the way the life style is today.its not fair that he is strict with your nephew and not with her,it should be equal and not favortisim.pattie
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
7 Nov 07
I guess kid will be kids and I think it will be something that you will probably bring up on her 21st Birthday, most kids do get up to something I suppose, but maybe her father should have taken a harsher stance on things, I guess chalk is better than texters which I have heard of...
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
7 Nov 07
I agree that chalk is better than markers...to me, it was the principle of basically vandalizing her room. I mean if she does it to her room and furniture, what will stop her from doing it to other ppl's property when she doesn't get her own way?
"COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS"
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
7 Nov 07
It sounds like you did what needed to be done. This is why , among other things, I don't and never wanted kids.If your brother won't do anything or back you up, then she is lost.If she doesn't get disciplined at home all the time, she will just think that you just hate her and it isn't her, it is you.Sadly, I can see where you and your nephew will have a great relationship, but never with your niece.
2 people like this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
7 Nov 07
You know I hadn't thought of that but you are right...she will come to think that it's just me and that I don't like her when actually I do love her, I just hate to see her behave this way. I don't know if my Brother will do anything to fix it though. My Nephew and I are very close and we have a great relationship...I try to have the same with my Niece but it doesn't always come out that way.
"COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS"
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
2 people like this
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
7 Nov 07
well i remember when my daughter drew on the walls with her crayons. i remember how upset i was and yes she did get in trouble, but no, i didnt take her crayons away from her either!
he needs to watch out with her...lay some rules or he will have a wild child!
2 people like this
@KarenO52 (2950)
• United States
7 Nov 07
It's a good thing you're around to provide some discipline. Your brother's being so lax with her is doing her no favors. When my kids were that age, I had to ground them sometimes, and give them chores to do to keep then out of trouble. They turned out fine. I think you did exactly the right thing with your niece.
2 people like this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
11 Nov 07
I thought you handled it pretty well!
I've never heard of that one though...side walk chalk on the walls.
Did she think that if her father did have to paint it he'd paint it the color she wanted after a display like that?!
You're probably right though - she's going to be a teenager and it'll keep coming. Especially considering she has slack discipline. Kids need discipline.
1 person likes this
@sweetgirl_k1 (3972)
• United States
7 Nov 07
Uh-oh, someone is trying to get her way. I'm glad you took care of that situation and now maybe she'll think about it before she does something mean like that again. Her dad should get onto her for doing it and then maybe she wouldn't do stuff like that. It just sounds like she is wanting to get her way and she'll do anything to get it.
1 person likes this
@sweetgirl_k1 (3972)
• United States
7 Nov 07
I forgot to add that I would have made her wash it off too but I probably would have stood there and watched her wash it off cause that would have made her even madder.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
7 Nov 07
Wow~ reading this I was picturing your neice to be around 8 and your nephew to be around 6. This is totally inappropriate behavior for s 12 yr old!
It probably wasn't your place to step in since she isn't your child. I actually hate it when my sister comes to my house and tries to discipline my children.
I think that it was a great idea of your to reward your nephew for helping his sister. Too bad if she was upset~ she needs to grow up!
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
8 Nov 07
In a case like that, the kid would have been made to scrub off the chalk (and supervised to make sure that THEY did the scrubbing) and grounded. It shows a complete lack of respect for her father's authority that she scribbled on the walls to try and get her way, so she needs to be disciplined so she learns who's in charge.
My son has, on occasion, brought sidewalk chalk into the house and drawn all over the carpet. Fortunately, it vacuums right out. He gets his sidewalk chalk taken away from him for a week when he does that.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
7 Nov 07
Only my oldest son did something like this, but I can't remember what his father did, probably just gave him a lecture.. It also was worse/and not as worse than this situation. The part not so bad is that the wall he wrote on was no painted yet, it was drywall we had put up. What made it worse is that he wrote bad language, so I think what my husband did since we were not ready to paint yet, was went over it with more drywall mud..
@kimthedane (945)
• Denmark
10 Nov 07
Haha twoe, this subject so got me in stitches as I see my daughter in the way you describe your niece. Her fav quote is: why do today what you can make somebody else do tomorrow. However I will not let her get away with it and though it will cause a 3rd world war everytime i put my food down, she will always end up doing what she is told.
She is 18 next week though, so she is a lot older than your niece. But I can see where you are coming from. If your brother do not deal with it now I can see your niece turn out the same way as my daughter. And believe me, he does not want that.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
9 Nov 07
That is so wrong of your brother for being strict on one and not the other. That's playing favoritism which isn't right. If he's going to be strict on one he should be with the other as well. You did the right thing in what you did because she needs to know she'll be punished for her wrong doings or she'll grow up thinking everyone should bow to her wants and needs. She'll have a rude awakening if she doesn't get taught now.
1 person likes this
@bizmom (515)
• United States
11 Nov 07
LOL
actually this is one of those things that i alwyas say (pick ur battles* with lol
I wouldnt have made such a big deal over it actually
sort of funny if u think of it - i would have made her deal with it meaning not wash it off or anything but still NOT allow here to paint it!! lol
eventually she would hav *gotten* over it and cleaned it off herself bein sick of looking at it! and then and ONLY THEN would i have considered painting it b/c then she would have calmed down and mighthave earned it by then by actually cleaning it off!!
is just silly to argure or get *gray* over things that arent really worth it - them not talking to u! oh please they get over that fast especially when u play the *game* to - if she were to say something to u or ask for something u say:
* oh ur talking to me now thought u werent going to FOREVER! that was short* lol
XX
lol
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
7 Nov 07
It is unbelievable that a 12 year old would pull that kind of stunt. That is something a 4 or 5 year old would pull. My youngest son of 4 threw his shoes away so he could get news as his older brother just got a new pair for school. I swa them in the garbage but as I was busy they didn't register untill we were getting ready to go some where and couldn't find his shoes. Then it dawned on me where they were. he had to ware his old ugly tennys for a while before getting new shoes. I can't believe that your brother didn't do any thing about her writting on the walls like that.
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
8 Nov 07
I never had a child draw on a wall at 12 yrs. old. When they were tiny and got ahold of crayons then we had a bit of doodling going on. Her dad should have made her clean it or maybe he didn't care. Closing the door also works pretty good. I had to do that with one of our kids because her room was a total disaster and stayed that way until she left for college.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
7 Nov 07
I think he should be hard on both of them not just one. I feel the same way about my niece and nephew. Of course Peyton my nephew just turned two and my niece is now 5. They both have their days though.
@cassidy22 (2974)
• United States
7 Nov 07
I feel like there is something missing here, and it isn't about the punishment for the chalk.
It's the concept that in order to get her point across, she had to do something destructive, albeit it was fixable.
What was she mad at you about? This is a stunt a 6 year old would pull. but a 12 year old should be able to express herself. Why wasn't she able to do that? She should be taught that if she is upset, she can talk to someone, openly and honestly, without fear of punishment. And I don't think she lives in that environment. If she could have talked about what made her angry, and you two could have resolved it, maybe she wouldn't have resorted to drawing on things with chalk.
1 person likes this
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
7 Nov 07
oh man, what is it with 12 year old girls anymore? my niece is the same way. ugh. i can just see this happening here too. all i can say is you took charge good for you, but your bro is in for a surprise as she gets older. he has lost total control with her already, and it's only going to get worse. so sad.
1 person likes this
@spacecreature (114)
• United States
7 Nov 07
My Niece likes to write on walls with crayons but she is only two. I think you did a good job. The only thing you can do now is try to talk to your brother.
