wishful thinking

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the pain doesnt go away, you just get used to it; for as much as i tried trying to live my life with a physical independence away from this person..it doesnt help to realize that for every moment..i am actualy thinking and talking to "him" inside my mind. Like there's this world that i created--like an idiot box picturing me--starring you---at my side--smiling, walking and actualy loving me. a very pathetic excuse in taking on life. but im thinking right now, how long must i continue to breathe while thinking of this person. and though i want to be without this nagging feeling at my back that im all alone now..i feel like my life would be nothing if your'e not in it..even just in thoughts...