The Feeling of Failing Somebody
By cuteclavs
@cuteclavs (109)
Philippines
November 8, 2007 3:18am CST
I really don't know how to start with but I just want to share to you the feeling I once and still have as I fail the people who are dear to me. It really kills me inside knowing I have done a big mistake to frustrate them who are expecting a lot of things from me. At these situations, I honestly go crazy crying all night long even a day. I always tend to hate myself being able to hurt someone so badly. Thus, sometimes I prefer myself to be alone and never be that too close to someone that I may not be able to hurt him or her. Honestly speaking, I too sometimes prefer not to be loved by someone because of the fear that I might just fail him or her. The only thought that always comes into my mind is that, this is the best way to show my love to people that I must not let them expect too much of me.
Is this normal? Am I not too absurd to think of such? Please advise me. You're comments will really be a big help! :)
3 responses
@bong_domingo (878)
• Philippines
8 Nov 07
Hey!..... you may fail a lot of people who expect a lot from you even those dear to you... but for those dear ones for whom you're also dear.. you may frustrate them or fail a couple of times but it doesn't mean they love you any less... esp. your big cute sis :-) she may get disappointed or just simply shuts down from you, but after that she still loves you ... not any less... you're one baby sister she has next is that darn smarty olive... though she lost the other one..... whew!
@cindyinc70 (115)
•
8 Nov 07
In a way I think it is normal, because I know alot of abuse survivors. But that doesn't mean normal is always healthy. We are all human, and we will all fail. Try to get a healthier perspective. It sounds like you have way to high expectations of your self. You are probably loosing out from some really fulfilling relationships and ppl are loosing out by your presence in your life.
You are going to mess up. You are human. That doesn't mean you are a failure and that you don't have anything to offer. :)
@ebtenorio (765)
• Philippines
8 Nov 07
We are free to love whoever we would want to love. The will to love honestly is one good thing God has given us. One tends to love another because the latter might be of great import to the former. And love does not seek its own self as what the Bible tells us. What rewards shall we get if we only love those that love us? Remember that? On the other side of it if you are referring to romantic love, leave it that way. Let them love you. Just be careful for those who will "love" you with bad intentions. If anyone would want something in return for the things they do to you, then the don't feel "LOVE" for you. They just want something else. Just as long as we love honestly with clear and clean heart, I think that's ok. No problem I see about that. Just have a clear and clean conscience about anyone, be that they love you or not.
I have been loving someone so much that I could give my life to her without anything in return. Why did I say that? It's because of love. Hurting or not, one must accept the consequences of having loved another. Me, I just wait for that someone. Till the last straw of the brick of my temple falls.
And I love her honestly. ^_^
