Do you sometimes wonder ..... ?
By laurika
@laurika (4532)
United States
November 9, 2007 5:09pm CST
I have this friend who I know from my high school and We have been really good friends in high school. But now If we talk together she is negative and so much talk about herself, so wonder sometimes how we could be so good friends not long time ago. Does she change so much or do i chnage so much? Does it happen to you too?
6 people like this
11 responses
@Margajoe (4746)
• Germany
10 Nov 07
Unfortunatly as time goes by, we all change.
Some times you go the same way, and other times you don´t.
I had a good friend for 12 long years. He found himself a wife and have not heard from him in 4 years.
Problem is I introduced them to each other.
He said he only wanted to meet with her, and if our friendship would get into trouble he would not go through with it.
Within one month she got her hooks into him.
And my best friend, who was like a brother to me, is no more. It hurts, some times I still think about him.
We would talk for hours about anything and everything.
I really thought I had a true friend.
But, like I said, people change.
Take care, have a nice day.
P.S; I have made alot of new friends, you wll too. Life goes on.
1 person likes this
@laurika (4532)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Wow, that is really sad you lost such a good friend. Hope you can find someone else, even it will be never like this one. It can be better or worst, but it would be still different. I wish you the best and hope your friend would come to his mind and return to you
@derek_a (10874)
•
10 Nov 07
As we age in years, so we age in mind as experiences mould our outlook on life. If things don't go exactly the way we think they should, this can change our moods and ultimately, our personality. We all change, and that is certain, so we all tend to view life differently, so if we don't see a friend for quite some time, and then meet up with them, their life experiences may have changed them out of all recognition, but we have changed also.
I have practised meditation for a number of years and I can see how I have changed by observing my mind and emotions. I can also see that the way others have changed is also because I formed an opinion of them based on out-dated information about them - so now I need to "create" them differently in my own mind. :-)
@derek_a (10874)
•
11 Nov 07
"How do you stay positive?"
The human mind is based on opposites, therefore it never stays positive ALL the time. What is positive today, may be negative tomorrow. Therefore it is a bit like a roller-coaster. When feeling negative, I see it like a message from my mind that has become confused about something. One of the most valuable things to do then is to just communicate with someone you can trust. But often people do not want to listen to someone who is negative in that way and will often try to avoid such a conversations. This is where sitting down and writing all your thought (no matter what they are) can bring release and clarify what you are feeling. The law of evolution states that all things improve, therefore the mind does too. But to move on, we must see where we are right now and find our way out of it.
"I mnea do you have a lot of pesimistic people coming to you?"
Yes I do, but when I manage to motivate them to see that improvement is inevitable (which it is, unless you hold yourself back), I also motivate myself to move on also. If I am feeling good, this means that I can feel even better, but if I am feeling low, my interaction with them lifts my spirits. In the domain of the mind, what you give is what you receive.
I also feel strongly about meditation and as I have had many benefits from it, I feel that everyone could benefit from it.
It's difficult to put into words, but I hope you understand. :-)
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
10 Nov 07
I find it hard for me to make friends with a negative person if she doesn't make some changes in her attitude towards things and life as I am alway on the positive side. Anyway I will still try my best to influence her within my power to see how things will go on before I can keep that friendship relationship.
Life is too short to be negative. We ought to live our life to the fullest.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
11 Nov 07
Hello laurika. Thanks very much for the best response. I appreciate it very much. Good day.
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
10 Nov 07
I think time just changes people Laurika. Sounds like she is just stuck on herself, that kind of thing happens. I dont really keep up with my High School friends. Ive seen them around, but its not like it used to be. It is odd, you can be such good friends with someone and then after time passes its almost like you were never friends with them at all.
Bay Lay Gray xx
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
10 Nov 07
You can look at it this way, you have matured and she hasnt. Your still looking to be friends and she is all stuck on things about her. I like when you told Toni_07 that she talk so long you forget what she was saying. LMAO
Bay xx
@goodsign (2287)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 07
Yes it has happened to me too, where when we re-met after many years of miscommunication, a lot of changes on them. Not only for physical looking but their self behavior. Previously they are non-friendly, but now seems so friendly and the vice-versa happening in my friends' circle.
Actually time factor and the culture-shifts that make everybody change. As most of my previous school mates are now have their own family to take care and with new marriage life.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
9 Nov 07
I think that happens a lot in life, people change and unfortunately people do become self absorbed and sometimes they don't realize they are focusing on negatives maybe because there just isn't enough positives in their lives, if people have positives in their lives then they are happy, maybe you should try and bring some more positives to her and save her from becoming a permanent negative person which can happen
@AmbiePam (92714)
• United States
10 Nov 07
I would imagine that you both changed a lot. Her for the worse, you for the better. I have/had a friend like that as well. When I went to work with her I couldn't believe the difference. There was no honor in her behavior and she gossiped more than she ever did in school. I cut myself off from her because she ended up doing something very bad to me that I never imagined she would do. And that was good for me because the less negativity around me, the better I will feel and be.
@saivenkaat802003 (4823)
• India
10 Nov 07
Hi laurika.. Congrats you have reached the 2000 posts by now.And you just made it.( i know you will be making today and so i was waiting for you to make, so that i can greet u)
From the discussions i follow, i can say that you are plain and frank and soft spoken, very much aligning in my triats. So i feel that your friend had changed a lot... and why you worry about a friend who uncares you.. there are a lot of people in the world who loves you and cares you.
And its 11.30 pm by now,..and i am going to sleep.
TAKE CARE MY FRIEND. Have a nice weekend.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Heeh thank you for congratulation, if you will not tell me I have 2000, I would not have even see it.
You know I feel like there are not many people today who cares for others(maybe I am being negative now) and it is hard for me to find a new friends, so that is the reason I don't want to lose the old ones.
@Toni_07 (175)
• United States
10 Nov 07
People do change. I think that if they are being negative then their not happy in their lives? It is very dissappointing i know? I try to stay away from negative people. Misery loves company
I can always tell when something is bothering my best friend,cause she will talk about her life and i never get a word in,and i always know she is candy coating it,cause something is wrong.
