How long can you be around negative people?

I use to be negative and it irritated my sister, but I never understood why. Now that I have changed, negative people get on my nerves. It's like they insist on seeing the bad sad of everything. Everyone else is trying to be positive and this one person keeps highlighting the bad side. It can be very trying.

Talking with someone who is always negative are depressed is really hard because it takes too much of your energy. Before, I was always trying to help them, listening t them, etc, but I was always so much down after that. So when I see someone whoi is to much negative or depressed, if they take to much of my energy I simply tell them to change subject or to come back talking to me later. Most of the time the person will change subject and it will help them at the same time thinking of something else :)

I can't spend too much time around those sort of people either. But I find that I attract them constantly. I guess because I'm a good listener and I care about peoples feelings. After a while though, I get fustrated with people who can't seem to find anything good or positive to say. I start to avoid them because I don't have anything to say to them to change their attitude.

Indeed it is not easy to talk with people who are depressed. But everytime I see one, I really want to talk to her or him because I want to lift their moods and share with them some of my thoughts that would be of help to them.

To me sharing the negative thoughts is something good to have and I will turn it into 'constructive' element to double check my point of weakness, that sometime I overlooked into it. And that contra person I will use them as my 'enzyme' to my solution findings and I will never tell them for what I am doing. Do not worry my good friend, Laurika. They are followers and they will be a leader for the rest of their life unless they turn ver to a new leaf in the new life. Followers always need success prove or history to make them to be our followers. As "seeing is believing" is their life principle, so, they will never be creative and far to be innovetive. I will say to them this way, "don't forget to support me when I have proved my successfulness, please". That is my polite "killer words" to them, it just like one 'killer song' in one album. And I must understand their level or stage of thinking even though they might be from very educative person. Happy Dappy.

dear laurika, as you coverse with other people, do not absorb their negativity. you can train yourself not to pick up on that and incorporate it into yourself. you have to develop a f i l t e r for that sort of thing. the only exception is when you come face to face in person with someone who is totally demoniac, then don't even look into that person's eyes, just keep your distance, don't even respond to them if at all possible, and physically remove yourself from their presence!! but that is a rare thing and an exception. don't worry about that so much. people have a psychic energy emitting from them as you stand physically in their presence, and you have to always have your own f i l t e r in the on mode so as not to absorb any negativity etc. from them. then you will be as good as gold, and can go about your daily like and converse with anyone you want to without being negatively affected by their energies. stanzi2007

it sure is hard to be around people like you've described. i guess, it's one og the reasons why i haven't been actively communicating with my friends anymore coz there are more negative people out there than the good ones. i'm at the point of my life where everything seems to go wrong all the time and just being with them, somehow, makes my burden heavier. so, i'd rather keep to myself.

Yes, negativity can be somewhat contagious. As a therapist I am constantly with negative people who have anxieties and stress about various things. The way I stop it affecting me is that as they talk to me and I interact with them, they tend to start to feel more positive. I am "persuading" them to look on the positive side of life. Sometimes this is hard work, sometimes not so hard, but the result is the same. Because I am "giving away" positive words etc. I am reinforcing the positive in myself. If you help someone else unburden themselves of negative vibes, you are also giving yourself a lift. As you listen to their negativity, and you find and suggest a solution (something that they can do about it), you are also raising your own spirits. It is because others are reflected in our own minds. I hope you can see what I'm trying to say here, but it is difficult to describe with words. :-)

And this happened to me today.. One of my colleague in my office was too depressed about her family probs and she started to cry by telling the probs.. I cant cut short her, because having felt that, by sharing the feelings of her with me she may be relieved of tension. I listened to her for few minutes.. and all i did was you dont worry, what you did was correct.. and why you fear and worry.. and by now she stopped crying..and slowly i changed her mood by making fun of her.. And once after she was back to normal and after few hours i again talked to her about her family problem. This time i did not allow her to speak, instead i suggested some alternative choices to her, that she might have reacted in this way, she could have responed to her in-laws like this (yep! the again the in-law probs) And, what mistakes she had committed,i slowly pointed to her all one by one, and now after all my talks she went home quite relaxed,and clear thoughts. So, according to me,even i the negative people are around us,they cant deprive our energy and those thoughts will not conquer our mind, once we have a focused mind. Happy mylotting dear.

I don't think that I can stay long with a negative person. I don't want my life to be influenced because of having someone negative, which is my way of life. First I will still try to make her think more of the things towards the good respects instead of always thinking negatively...

Yes. I feel exactly the same way too. Personally, I am not a very positive person. I am trying my best to be positive. I always appear cheerful and happy in front of my friends. In actual fact, I might not be. I do not wish to influence them negatively. I have a few friends who are very negative. They are my long time friends and I feel bad not listening to them. I will listen to them and then try to put some positive thoughts into them. After listening to them, I'll usually go for a run to release the negative energy in me. I also cannot hang out with such people too. The reason is I am not a very positive person myself. If I were to hang out with them too often, I will end up depressed.

Boy, I hate to be around negative people, and yes they can pull other people down into their pity parties. I have a neighbor who comes over a lot (today was one of them) and will set for hours and do nothing but complain and usually about the same old things. I get so tired of hearing her complain about her husband and child support and his ex-wives and his kids, etc. etc. etc. She lived with him for 2 years before marrying him and knew all this then. Most times I cringe when she comes over and I never know how to get rid of her. I can be having a great day and she can ruin it in no time.

Well,I think I'm somehow a very positive and optimistic person. I do affect the people around me. Whenever they say sth negative,I always encourage them to see the good side out of the bad result.I try to listen to them and help them analyze the situation and think about some methods to solve the problems. I do think happiness is very important in our life,so I also hope that my friends are happy.Instead of being affected to be negative,I always persuade them to be positive:) So I can stay with them for a longer time and I'm so glad to see them becoming optimistic^_^

My girlfriend is very negitvie all the time and I really can not take it any more it drives me nuts there is never a silver lining with never so I learn to just tune it out and do my own thing until her tune changes. But still it is very difficult to walk away sometimes I find myself getting sucked in to a battle because of this. I just hope this is a short term thing as I beleive it maybe because she just had a baby and I dont remember it being this bad before but I could be wrong.

Being around people who are always depressed or always have negatives thinking is really the most difficult part of ones life.I can spend some time with a negative person and try bringing them back to the positive track or help them come out of their troubles.But a person who has forgotten to think possitive in life is really difficult to handle..because we get inclined to things that we are most exposed to and may be we too start analyzing things the same way as the ne around.

Life is too short for me to be interested in spending time with negative people. It just isn't healthy. I am the sort of person who will tell whiners head on, either act cheerful or whine by yourself, because, I'm sorry, I'm not listening to this. That may sound selfish to some, but consider how selfish the person who is doing the whining is! The is a positive correlation between upbeat behavior and good health, so by whining, people put their own health and yours at risk. How is that any different from physical violence when you stop and think about it?

I donot like to spend my time with negative , depressed or sick minded people. If you spend more time their influende will be tehre on us and we behave in the same, so its better to change them or simply move away from thsoe kind of people.

Hi Laurika, Not for very long. Its sort of a bummer, and it makes me feel guilty for feeling so good when they feel so bad! Especially if its one of my friends. Thankfully they arent too negative, at least not on a regular basis. I know exactly what you mean when you say you its just enough for you too. I mean if its one particular thing that has someone upset and being negative, I try to over look that, cos I know its just temporary. But if they do it day in and day out and nothing is ever good, then it drains me too. Bay xx

I definately start feeling negative if I am around them for too long. I find myself getting very upset and don't know why. Then there are other times when I know I am being negative but just need to get it out. I hope at those times that someone will be patient with me and understand. All of us are negative at sometimes and deserve those feelings. It's just when someone is negative ALL the time that a big problem occurs.