How Does Your Weight Affect You?

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Are you a bit more 'fluffy' than you were when you were in high school? If so, how does it affect you? When I was in high school, I only weighed around 110 pounds-and I though I was FAT. What I wouldn't give to be that 'FAT' again lol. I put on about 8 pounds in boot camp, (how'd THAT happen?!!) maybe because I discovered where the ice cream bars were in the mess hall. After that, I gradually put on weight for the next 2 years, (in the MARINES! Are you kidding me??!!!) until I got pregnant when I was 21, at which time I was just on the verge of getting sent to the 'fat farm'. (They couldn't send me because I was pregnant :) ) I was 163 pounds when I got pregnant with my first child. After she was born, I exercised like a crazy person, barely ate(no wonder I couldn't breast feed my baby!), and lost 40 pounds FAST. But, once I was discharged, I started putting on weight, and after years and years (and YEARS) of yo-yo dieting, I am a 'fluffy' (that's the nice word my family uses for 'fat') 195 pounds. I think the heaviest I have ever been was about 235 or so. My problem is (besides the fact that I ADORE ice cream), I don't feel like people take me seriously because I'm fat. I honestly, deep down, don't feel like I have a RIGHT to step foot inside stores like Victoria's Secret. I feel 'less than' when I go shopping, or anywhere I want people to take me seriously. I know that's ridiculous, but that's how I feel. I can't really explain it, but I really do feel people would treat me differently if I weren't 'fluffy'. (I mean people "out there", not my family) I almost feel like I don't have a right to go to the beach in a swimsuit (not that it keeps me from going), just because I have a bit more flesh to bare than most. There are a dozen other ways being overweight affects me, but this is probably the biggest thing for me. Does anyone else feel this way? (I know, I should just shut up about it and lose weight, but you know what??!! I LIKE to eat, and I like to eat stuff that tastes good, and stuff that may not be good for me. So, (raspberry), there!)