childrens' noise, and the neighbours...
By bobbyjoe143
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
November 15, 2007 7:28am CST
Hi everyone, I have a son who is 9 and a fairly loud child (not in a tantrum way, but when he is playing and laughing sort of way) and I have a problem with this only because of my mardy/moany neighbours...
When I first moved into my house (the month before my son was born) my neighbour was an elderly woman, after the birth of my son (he was a quiet baby) and obviously she never said a thing to me about noise.
A few years later, the elderly lady died and i got some new neighbours, a single father and his son (who was a year younger than my son). His son and my son made around the same ammount of noise as each other, so obviously we never complained to each other about the noise... a year or so later, he met a single mother and moved her in, she had a daughter and the extra noise may have seemd a little bit much some days, but they are kids, so I never said a word.
Around a year and a half ago, the neighbours with children sold their house to a childless couple (I have known both of these people for many years, her since I was 7 and him since I was 14-15).
After about 2 months of them moving in, they came round almost daily to complain that my son made alot of noise at night (around 10pm), they go to bed around that time, and so would like it if I got him to be quieter, I had no problem with this; fair enough, my son goes to sleep late (doesn't stop him getting up in the morning and there is not much I can do to MAKE him sleep lol).
Now for obvious reasons, though I can ask my child to be quieter it doesn't always sink in straight away, as children need constantly reminding of these things, so it took a little while for him to get into this new routiene, during this time that we were getting settle in our new routiene, the neighbours carried on comming round in the morning to moan and every time I assured them I was tackling it.
For quite sometime now however they have stopped discussing these issues with me and are getting petty and silly. During the school holidays (6 week fron the end of July to the beginning of September) if my son slept in late one morning, he would be awake a little later that night, so sometimes he made noise... instead of comming and mention it to me, they (well I should say HE) spent their early mornings (5am+) banging and revving his van in an attemp to "get back" at my son... pettiness will only breed pettiness (why should I keep my son quiet if they wake me early?? because this did not wake my son at all, just me).
Now comes the most petty and stupid thing I have known them to do, last night at 5:30 pm (evening meal time for most, so certainly not late at night) my son and I were playing, I was tickling him and such, this is when my child is most loud! He screams (in delight lol) and is raucious. OH MY GOODNESS! they banged and shouted like I have never heard them do before... and do you know what... I tickled my son all the more! well until 6 when the simpsons started anyway.
Why should I not have a happy son, even if he is a bit loud sometimes? Why should I not play with my son just because "mr and mrs mysery" next door don't like childrens laughter?
Best of all this is... SHE'S PREGNANT ROFL! I can't wait to go and bang on their door at 2 am telling them to shut their BRAT UP!
thoughts on this guys?
4 people like this
6 responses
@thisnurserocks (28)
• United States
15 Nov 07
Personaly I have had almost the same problems with some of my neighbors. I have a son that has insomnia among other medical issues and even with medication has trouble sleeping and can be very loud. I have gotten compliants about him making to much noise and at first I just told the neighbors that he cant sleep at night, appologized and told them I would make an attempt to keep him quiet. That didn't work so the neighbors kept complaining. I finaly told them that there wasnt anything that I could do about it. Kids will make noise. They tried being petty with me too but the noises they made were intentional disturbances of the peace and I called the police on them and they didnt do it anymore!
1 person likes this
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
•
15 Nov 07
glad to see that i am not the only parent out there that has a noisy child lol!
the pettiness of my neighbours bugs me and not my son, so they really ought to lean to talk it out instead of acting like badly behaved kids, as i am the one that "controls" the behaviour of my son and i may well just stop asking him to calm down if they bug me too much...
i am not sure i would go as far as calling the police about a disturbance to the peace, but it's certainly something to think on.
but again, she is now pregnant, so in a few months time they will have their very own little racket maker! lets see how they like it when i am deliberately trying to wake their kid/s up rofl.
1 person likes this
@sreejithsreenivas (10200)
• India
16 Nov 07
Children's are Gods gift and making lot of noise is their nature.If your son is becoming a problem to your neighbor,then discuss the problem with your neighbor in a friendly manner.I think it is not a problem at all.At the age of 9 all children's do the same thing only and there is nothing unusual it.
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
•
16 Nov 07
i have tried to discuss this matter with my neighbours, but they seem to think that it should be an instant thing and are not patient... they don't seem to understand that pervious neighbours never had a problem, and so my son has grown up believing up until now that he can be a bit loud without too much fuss.
change can sometimes take a bit of time, and they need to understand that.
@AxranraRose82 (1120)
• United States
15 Nov 07
Revenge is not a very nice thing...but if I were you I wouldn't be able to wait either!! Just make sure that you are not harming the baby- only annoying them!!
This reminds me of a recent story I read in the local paper. A woman lives in an apartment or something where she has neighbors attached to her and has an autistic child. Autism is a rough thing to have to deal with and they can sometimes have outbursts which are very loud and could potentially be annoying for someone living nearby. But she cannot control what her son does because it happens. Her landlord was trying to kick her out because people complained! There is some law against doing so but the landlord was trying anyway. And for some reason she felt like she was losing the battle and thought she might be forced to move. My heart went out to her- how can you treat someone like that?
Kids are kids and we are all human. Why can't they just realize that everyone is different and some people actually LIKE to have fun and be loud sometimes??! You should tell your neighbors to get over themselves and live with it!
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
•
15 Nov 07
in my personal case, both my neighbours and i know where we stand in the eyes of the law, they have never called the police or local council authorities about nois polution as the laws here state that i could actually have loud music playing from 8:30 am til 11pm at night if i so wished, and that's fine...
so my sons' "noise" as it does not go out of those limitaions of the law here, is well within his rights.
and so, they take the "law" into their own hands and play silly games in the hopes that it will "shut us up"!
plus there is something here in the uk to do with selling houses, it's a declaration that must be completed if you sell your house, if you have ever reported your neghbours for anti-social behaviour of any kind, you must declare it! that often decreases the value of a house, so i doubt they would want to do that.
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
15 Nov 07
Childless people often have a hard time understanding children. they think that you should just make your child be quiet, really, what's the problem. (: I would wait, if they are preggers themselves, the will soon be coming to your house to apologize! (: As newborns sometimes scream and scream for no reason at all..(:
Hopefully they get a happy baby, but if they get a colicky one..they should be apologizing soon. (:
I say, you can't keep your child completely quiet. Now, if he were screaming at the top of his lungs right in front of their bedroom window, that's one thing, but children make noise.. and they don't always understand why they should be quiet. I do think it would be best, to continue to try and keep him reigned in a bit. Maybe reserve that time for puzzles, board games or something calming and quieter...but I don't think you should have to keep him completely quiet. Only because your little guy is watching you..and although the neigbors are being petty, doesn't mean you want to stoop thier and you prob. don't want to teach your son to act that way either. It's a great lesson in being respectful to others even when they don't return the favor.
Good luck to you.
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
•
15 Nov 07
i am quite a complacent person, and for a year and a half now i have managed to keep the moral high ground, but as time wears on, i get tired of it and i just want to strike back at them. you are right though, stooping to their level is not a good thing, especially not infront of my son.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
15 Nov 07
First of all I don't think you need to keep your son quiet just to please them. When people buy a home its their responsibility to check out the neighbors and make sure they would be happy living there. It's not the responsibility of the people who already live there to change their habits and routines just to please the new people.
What they are doing is childish and petty but is also harassment. I wouldn't stoop to their level just yet...the next time they start doing stuff early in the morning call th police. If that doesn't resolve anything then take it into your hands. Try to figure out the new baby's sleep schedule and save your loudest stuff for 5 minutes into nap time. Also document all of their pettiness.
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
•
15 Nov 07
up to now i have tried to calm my son, with quite alot of success providing i remind him often, but recently i have given up on that because of their petty behaviour.
yes it was their responsibility to check out that they could live next door to me happily before they bought, but even if they had asked the previous owners of the house what i was like as a neighbour, i know they would have given me a "glowing report" as me and my son are alot quieter than they ever were lol. but i am not an unreasonable person and i am happy to try and keep the peace, at least i am happy to compramise, but it seems that they just want it all their own way.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
16 Nov 07
I think when one lives in an apartment then they have to expect a certain amount of noise from the neighbors. It kind of goes with the territory. You have to be tolerant of different families and lifestyles. I have all of my adult life lived in apartments and after living thru a very violent marriage which i completley understood my neighbors complaining about, I have a high tolerance level for noise. I grew up next to an airport...the house rattled each time a plane flew over....all hours. My first apt. was situated between the police station and the fire dept....talk about noisy! KId noises are nothing...not their crying or their laughter or even their tantrums. My neighbor now is a muscian. Yes, his music is so loud and sometimes downright annoying...will I bug him over it? absolutely not! I know that if my daughter have only to knock on his door and tell him and he will turn it down or off. If I were you, I would never knock on her door and let her know her child's crying bothers you. be the bigger person....she'll get it and feel terrible.
