Clash of the multifaceted woman

I think this is a pretty common feeling that women have. We feel pressure to be super woman, to do it all, to have it all, and to make it look easy. It is a dangerous trap to fall into. Your friend is very lucky to have you. I understand your desire to help- I am the same way. But do not neglect yourself. If you do not take care of yourself you will be no help to anyone- your child or your friend. Though we are made to feel that it is selfish to do something for ourselves, we need to. Helping from a distance is a very delicate balancing act that I have not mastered. I also get way too involved. So if you figure that one out, will you fill me in?

Hi short, I really don't know what to say about your post that could help you. While reading it, though, I had some thoughts in my mind that I wanted to share with you. First, I think that every caring woman occassionally goes through times like this. Oh, there have been times I wanted to jump in my car and just drive as far as it would take me without looking back. Women tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves that is not really there, but it seems like it is. The second thought I had was regarding your relationship vs. your friends. Be careful comparing the two! It is another tendancy we have as women to over sympathize with our friends, then we start picking apart everything around us. You don't mention what the issues are, but they may very well be similar as your friend's. However, you and your boyfriend are a different couple. Maybe you handle to situations different. Maybe you are opening your eyes to new problems, but you have never voiced your opinion. Just because your friend's marriage is ending, your relationship doesn't have to get complicated. I am very much the same as you- all or nothing. But, please don't make the mistake of putting yourself last. You (and your baby) deserve all the energy and thought that you put into your friend. Take a break someimes. Revive yourself. Tell your friend that for 2 hours you don't want to talk about her, but about you. I've been there with friends, and I've also been seperated from my husband. My greatest joy in life is that I stayed with my husband and worked things out. Trust me, plenty of people were telling me I had every reason to leave. Only you know the potential of the relationship, though, and what is a mountain of a problem to some may only be a molehill to you. Well, I hope that some of this helped. I'm obviously not a relationship expert, but I am a fellow woman, mom, wife, and friend. Good luck and keep plugging away!