Betrayal or Am I Being Petty???
By brandy78
@brandy78 (159)
Canada
November 17, 2007 12:05pm CST
Here is the situation I have five really close friends and we have hung out together for over a year.We do family bbq's,game nights etc. We also do a lunch club where we all pitch in $25 each draw names and that person holds the lunch.
My dilemma one of you friends has recently made a new friend which is fun but this friend has a very big mouth and loves to gossip..Friend A has now invited this new friend to be part of our lunches I am upset about this but its only once a month so I figured just suck it up except for now she also invited her to come to a christmas get together.
The other 4 friends and I got together and decided we should confront the first friend who is very volatile and intimidating(good friend hey lol) and explain how we feel about this new person.. well this being said Last night I took a little cruise around the town before picking my kids up from my Mom's and lo and behold all of my friends including the new person were together at one of their houses.. I am hurt would you be??
what would you do in this situation and do you think I am being petty or that I have a legit reason to be upset.thanks for your input...
6 responses
@chaime (1152)
• Philippines
18 Nov 07
Of course like you my first reaction would be to be upset and feel betrayed, but if you really are 'good friends' with these other people as you say, I think you should talk to them and get their inputs as to what happened, maybe there is a perfectly reasonable explanation as to the event, but of course I can understand why you are upset and feel bad, but the thing is we cannot control what other people would do and how they will react the only thing we can really hold on to and control is ourselves and our reactions. So, in order to preserve friendship and such I think it's best to talk to your friends and try to understand the situation. Things like this can actually hinder friendship, so keeping an open communication lines in between friends and more so an open mind can patch things up and make you better people and better friends in the long run.
@brandy78 (159)
• Canada
18 Nov 07
I think the best thing I can do is to tell them I am hurt an reiterate to them that I will not hang out with this girl so I guess if they choose to hang out with her I will have to find some new friends easier said then done in a town of less the 1000 ... thanks for the advice I appreciate it
@brandy78 (159)
• Canada
18 Nov 07
thanks,, i think so too I don't want to lose my friends but in some way I am thinking if this is the way I am being treated maybe its time to move on..I am going to talk to them and as far as the girl who doesn't fit in I can only choose for myself so I guess its them who have to decide .. I just refuse to go back to high school days where everyone knows my business and this girl likes to gossip..
@nangel78 (1454)
• United States
18 Nov 07
I would try to be honest and communicate with everyone in a polite manner on this. It sounds like stuff that took place in junior high and nobody needs to go through that kind of drama. I would just be adult and try to communicate. If things cannot get resolved, then I would move on. Drama like that is not worth dealing with.
@xXxMikesWifeyxXx (3072)
• United States
17 Nov 07
Well if they were saying one thing to you and going back and saying somthing diffrent or even acting diffrent with the others. its being fake...on one of the sides... i would confront them and ask what was up? because real friends should beable to go and say hey you do this and it bothers me or whatever and they be like okay thats cool i ll try not to do that anymore....thats a real freind...if they get all huffy and puffy about it.. well i guess that means they are real friends..just fake ones.
@brandy78 (159)
• Canada
17 Nov 07
thanks and I do agree with you a should be able and be comfortable asking them whats going on..It was the point I tried to make about the first friend because everyone is so worried about talking to her about this other girl..She isn't a friend if your scared to talk to her she is a bully at least thats how I feel.
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
17 Nov 07
I would feel the same way. If the other 4 acted like they felt the same way you did, then went behind your back, how else are you supposed to feel? I would talk to them about it. Keeping it to yourself will only make you feel worse. I don't think it is petty to feel hurt when something like this happens. But the decision you have to make is whether you want to let this situation ruin the friendships you have wth these people. If you react strongly you may regret it if it ends up compromising the friendship. Give yourself some time to sort everything out, then talk to them.
@brandy78 (159)
• Canada
17 Nov 07
Thanks thats kind of what I thought to.. I think I will take a few days and cool off as I am pretty angry about the whole situation right now.I had actually phoned the confrontational friend last night before I realized they were all together and left a message for her to come for a coffee today and she never even bothered to phone back..
@cartoon4umaniacs (1648)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I would definitely talk to my friends and confront them. If they are your real friends they would not be fake to you nor would they go behind your back to hurt you. Friends sometimes do stupid things and you just need to give them some grace and patience so that they will have the courage to say sorry or explain what they have done. I once got into a miscommunication with my three friends and we didn't speak for 6 months and I lost out on creating some great memories with them because of it.
