Dealing with a boyfriend's ex???
@MakinMoney129 (231)
United States
November 18, 2007 1:24am CST
Ok. This may sound really, really silly to most of you, so I'll apologize now lol...I've been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now, and things are going really great. He's an amazing guy, he was there for me through my whole pregnancy with a baby that wasn't his...I was 6 months pregnant when we met, and he didn't mind at all. He's great with the baby, etc., but I only have one GIANT problem. His ex-wife. He's 13 years older than I am, and he was married to her for 7 ridiculously awful years, and now that they've been divorced for 2, she's just gone completely retarded. They have a 7 year old daughter together, so it's not like he can cut off all contact, but she's just sooo annoying! About everything! "Oh, I need the child support check 2 weeks early!" "Oh, can you pleeeease pay my phone bill? It's only $500...don't you wanna be able to call your daughter?" "I had to use my car payment money to pay for daycare this month, can you write the check for your half for next month's payment out to me instead of the park district?" Seriously. She's not all there. The marriage was horrible and pointless according to both of them and I guess she's always been quite the psycho. She used to like me, and then, of course, started feeding me all kinds of BS about him, trying to mess things up...now that she's broken up with her bf of 2 years (my bf and I are quite certain that she was already with this guy before they were divorced, even though she always accused my bf of cheating when he was at work lol), she's gotten even worse, going so far as to ask my bf to drop her off at her friend's house when he came to pick up their daughter tonight, when her car was SITTING RIGHT IN THE DRIVEWAY!!! I know I don't have to worry about them getting back together on his part, since just the thought of all 5 feet and 350 pounds of her (no, i'm NOT being sarcastic!) makes him ill, but I don't know what she's up to and it irritates me! Does anyone else have any sort of problems with their bf/gf/spouse's ex's?? HELP!!!!
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
19 Nov 07
I have never been through this BUT i do have a couple of things that might help - especially with getting your boyfriend out of having to cover all his ex's bills!
With the phone bill - if she doesn't pay her bill & they get cut off, there is still a service that allows incoming calls until the bill is paid - so he could still have contact with his daughter by phone!
Tell him to have his child support checks done automatically - from his account to wherever they need to be sent to - that way, he cant send her money just because she needs it (she's obviously not very good with money). Or have him send 2 checks a month, but half payments, then she'll have the money sooner & might not need to bug him for extra or anything!
Perhaps you could change your phone number to be silent, then she wouldn't have it but allow his daughter to have it - as long as she keeps it secret!
Or the 2 of you could just consider getting custody of his
daughter, that way there really wouldn't be as many hassles with the ex.
I'm sorry i cant be of much more help to you but i hope she gets over her 'butt bug' soon, it's not fair to make your life difficult & using his daughter to make his life hell too.
GOOD LUCK!
@Jasmine78 (135)
• United States
18 Nov 07
Bless you! Things seem a little mass. You bf should only do what he should do, or he may not consider your feeling. There should be a baseline for him.
@MakinMoney129 (231)
• United States
21 Nov 07
Thanks for the response!! You guys are being really helpful!! He really does only do what he "has" to do...he's really careful about it, because he's getting sick of giving in to her. He actually probably does less than what he's supposed to, because she doesn't even allow him to have the proper custody as stated in their divorce decree. See, he works a funny schedule, and only goes into work on Monday, Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday, and at the moment, he only gets to see his daughter every other weekend. Saturdays are pretty much shot, because he works until AT LEAST 7pm, so by the time he picks her up and gets to the house, it's nearly 9pm, and she just goes to sleep. Then they have all day Sunday, but what can you really do on a Sunday?? He's SUPPOSED to have her every other Wednesday and Thursday, as well, since he's off...so he SHOULD have her on a Weds./Thurs. when he doesn't have her that weekend, and then not have her Weds./Thurs. when he does have her for the weekend. But his ex won't allow it because she thinks that he wouldn't take her to school LOL...stupid! When he DOES have her, his ex won't let him take her anywhere because she says that him and I are the reason why the daughter always comes home Sunday night with her "asthma" in full effect...she says it's because of where my bf lives, the fact that him and I both smoke, and that we have a puppy and a ferret. Well, I'm terribly sorry, but his ex and her ex-bf who lived with them both smoked as well, she lives in a moldy little apartment, and when they lived together, they had a CHOW! Uhm, our puppy is a Pit Bull/Boxer mix, and I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that our dog probably is quite a bit less allergic than a freakin' CHOW! LOL I seriously think she's just insane. She shouldn't even have had a kid, since she thinks the only thing in life that brings her any pleasure is cutting herself.
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
18 Nov 07
So far I haven't experienced a problem with an ex. Anyway, perhaps your boyfriend should try to get custody of the daughter. The mother would still have visitation rights but at least you'll be seeing less of her and your boyfriend won't have to give her child support checks. Other than that, you shouldn't let a pest affect your relationship.
@MakinMoney129 (231)
• United States
21 Nov 07
I honestly try to not let her affect it, but like I commented above, it's like she's getting worse now that she's broken up with her bf...and it seems to be messing up our plans more and more. He loves seeing his daughter, but doesn't feel like it would be right for him to have custody of her because he works so much, and just has a lot going on and wouldn't be able to be there all the time for her. His only option would be to quit his job, and then we'd ALL be in trouble!! LOL Hopefully things will start getting a little better...he's starting to see how much she lies to him now. In fact, she "conned" him into babysitting their daughter all day tomorrow by saying that school was out (which it is) but that the day care she normally goes to is closed, so she needed someone to watch her while she was at work. Well I looked at the day care's website, and they're not closed at all tomorrow. Regular hours, just like any other day. She probably just blew her half of the day care money talking to Nine Inch Nails in some stupid chat room. Seriously. The girl is that stupid. She PAYS MONEY (even though she's too broke to pay bills!!) to talk to "celebrities" in chat rooms!!! My dog is smarter than that!!!
@jean0827 (306)
• Malaysia
18 Nov 07
everyone will get mad with someone like that.
you don't need to worry much if u really have confidence in your boy friend.
I think, the one who trying to mess thing up is her, not you.
Maybe she's just jealous that you get all the love from her ex-husband; since she was actually the one who dump ex ex-husband 1st, she would have think that she would be the only one who could get the love. But you who came later got what she had, and maybe more than what she had..
she broke up with her current bf, this might be the main reason all this messy coming up. She miss her ex-husband, and she trying to get something from him again..
You just need to calm down yourself every time she irritates you.
Time will pass and that will proof that you're more important in your bf's life.^^
wish you the best~
