What would you do?
By fyrechsr
@fyrechsr (293)
United States
November 18, 2007 9:59am CST
Ok! I have a 10 year old boy who was tested when he was 4 for SDHD and I was told he has it. (Don't they all). Well he was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and CD. (Attention Deficit Hyper Active Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Conduct Disorder)He has been in "special programs" in school pretty much since the first grade. Well now he is in 4th (stayed back 1st grade)and recently was cleared of all his special classes due to the fact that he was finally getting the help he needs and was a major success. He made honor roll (A's and B's) every quarter of grade 3. I am so proud of him. Well the program he graduated out of was not in his base school (closest to home) so he need to transfer schools. Well they did this 2 weeks after the school started this year. At the beginning of the year he was so happy as he had the same teachers and friends as last year. Until I told him he would be changing schools. At his old school he had one on one all day. He was transitioning into main stream classes but still continued to have a teacher besides the one teaching the class at his side at all times. He is a very smart child and knows a lot. I know im his mother and all mothers think the same way but the teachers say the same thing so it's not just me thinking it. Well anyway...when he graduated from this program he was the sent to his base school. Well he has had a substitute teacher since day one( his normal teacher was out on paternity leave). The substitute had just retired from that school this year but came back to help out in a time of need. She has been a teacher for 15 years there.
Well report cards came out last Tuesday and I was so upset. My son who went from A's and B's every quarter and above grade level in reading was now bringing home C's and D's and below grade level in reading. I called to find out what was going on and was politely told that his normal teacher (the one that hasn't been there) was the one who gave the grades. Well how can that be if she wasn't in the class room for even a day? Was told thats what we do. HMMMMMM OK??? Anyway..I asked to set up a conference with the teacher that has been in the class room and was told she doesn't have time for a conference and her last day was this past Friday. If I would like I can set up a conference with the teacher who will be back from maternity leave sometime next week. I asked for what since she hasn't been in the class with him to see what was going on? No one had an answer for me. Magine that!
This whole time I have been talking with the sub and was always told your son is wonderful I have no problems with him at all. He is very smart. I thought great this is going to work out good then.
Well I got a call from the sub after she found out I wanted a conference. She left me a message saying she had a few problems with my son and she would send home a letter as to what.
Well the letter I got where the goals that we set for my son (his previous teachers and principal and I) He need to maintain behavior and organizational strategies 98% of the time. According to the letter he is no where close to doing this. At the end of the letter she wrote my sons name"has not been receiving the consistency he needs." Well I would like to know why not? They all know what my son has been through. They have all of his records from his career at school. So my question is what would you do? Fight or sit back and wait to see what happens next?
3 people like this
6 responses
@pastorkayte (2255)
• United States
19 Nov 07
What are the chances of this happening in two different schools to two different children? Last year my daughter had exactly that experience. When she finally changed schools, her great grades and wonderful success rate plummeted and the only person I had to yell at was the absent minded substitute, who had no clue what to do with my child.
I went directly to the principal of the school right away and contacted the school board in my area. You should fight because your child needs a fighting chance. Dont let red tape keep that wonderful child away from a promising future.
Any way after I went the the principal, and told that there was nothing they could do. I went to the school board and they put my child into another class with another teacher, I met with that teacher and spent a week in her class to be sure her teaching method was up to my standards. I also checked in with my child daily so that I could get some answers and called the school routinely to inquire about my childs education. I asked the new teacher to send me weekly reports about her progress, so that I could monitor what should be done about her education.
After that my daughter found school much more enjoyable and is getting good grades and the teachers are making sure that I get all the information I need. Take an active stand and let them know you mean business. You only need to be interested in your child and no one else.
@GardenGerty (162227)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Do not let them drop your child from having some kind of IEP, because if it becomes necessary for more help later, it is an easier process to get it. Even if the IEP only says that little Janey will be monitored as to her progress on a weekly basis by the special education teacher. It sounds like you are doing a super job advocating for your daughter,as well.
2 people like this
@fyrechsr (293)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Wow...Chances are good I guess LOL. I am getting told to wait until next quarter and see how the grades are then because as of today the normal teacher will be there. Well I don't feel I need/should wait to see if he continues to fail. The school and all staff in the school know where he came from and why, but yet he wasn't getting the consistency he should have been getting. Well i would like to know why. Specially considering I talked with his sub just about every other day and she continued to tell me he was doing great. Apparently they were just trying to shut me up.
As for the IEP. That was a joke. Before moving to the new school I had a meeting with his old school and we set one up for him. Well the paper I signed was a year IEP. Meaning we have 1 year to see what happens and if it is not good he can return to that school.
I got a "copy" in the mail and as I was reading it over again I noticed it was only an IEP from September (when he transfered) to December of this year. I called the school and basically said WTF and was told "it was never for a yeat. We don't do that" So of course he is at a lose again.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (162227)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Often when a child changes from grade three to grade four they are expected to handle harder subject matter with even less help. On top of that, if your child has had a one on one para and gone to having none, and has been exited from special education, then it is a big change for him. I have a hard time with the sub saying your son was wonderful, then turning around and suddenly having problems, they were probably there all of the time, and she was not honest about them. I am a paraeducator. I spend a lot of time in third grade. We are working diligently to wean the kids I work with from one on one dependence, because, like your son, they are bright kids, with other problems. I am letting them sink or swim, basically. Trying to keep them on task, but letting them show what they actually know. If I were you, even if he is "successful" in school, I would not let go of the IEP for him, because the are so hard to get reinstated once they are dropped. He may really need the help again as he gets older, and work gets harder. There is a real gap between third and fourth grade expectations, I saw this when my own kids were in school. It is like BAM all of a sudden they have to be independent and work consistently, and suddenly be little grown ups. It is hard, then to change school after the year began made it even harder.
3 people like this
@fyrechsr (293)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I realize the work is a bit harder and he would need to be a little more independent. I think he should be but to drop him of everything all at once was wrong. If he would have stayed in the other school he would have had the help if he needed it. Which I feel he did. The last IEP meeting I was told "You son does not have any of the diagnoses he did when he first came here". Well I am sorry but teachers are not doctors. They do not see him at home. He has ADHD when he gets the attention he needs/wants hes great. I feel like there is nothing I can do. I have talked to the school board and continue getting the run around but I will continue running right along with them until I get what he needs.
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
19 Nov 07
You need to fight for your child's rights, right now. Do not wait until next quarter. Right now your child believes that he is a smart, bright, capable young man. If you allow this situation to wait until next quarter, his teacher (if you want to call her that) can destoy his self-esteem, his self-confindence and his beilf in himself. Do not let her do that to your son.
Education is important, but more important is having a good foundation and support team to help those children who may need a little more direction with attaining their education. As a parent, you are the sole defense system for your child. When his teachers let the ball drop, it is YOUR job to pick it back up and get things back on track. If you have to fight all the way to the top of the school board to get your child what he needs, then you do it.
A child does not just go from A's to C's overnight, on his own. Something is wrong with his new situation and the "don't care" attitude of his teachers and school should be setting warning bells off in your head. If it was my son, I would be in that school's office every single day until I got some results.
2 people like this
@fyrechsr (293)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I was in the school's office for about 30 minutes this morning and talked with 2 different teachers. 1 is the one who was on leave and came back today the other was one of the subs he had. It was total run around and continually kept coming back to well "I wasnt hear" from the one on leave. What a joke. I received and additional copy of his IEP and as walking out the door said I will run as long as I can. The school board is next.
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I can't really speak to your exact situation as I have never been in it. However, I have noticed that with the school system you need to stay on top of it all the time. Keep fighting for the answers you need. As parents it is our job to protect our children in any way we need to. Fighting with the school is way past frustrating, but I think it is worth it. My fight with the school was that my daughter was being bullied, and the school wasn't doing anything about it. As soon as I went to the superintendent, though, I got results. Keep plugging away. Sitting back to wait just makes the situation more confusing, I think.
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Keep up the fight. In the end it will be worth it and you will see that those circles you were running are really just a very tight spiral, getting ever closer to the goal. You are not alone!
1 person likes this
@ellen546 (110)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I have 8 children, and went through this with two of my own. Sometimes you have to face them head on and fight for your children, if you don't no one else will. The school system has really broken down since I was a student, the teacherss don't take the time to teach students any more, they treat them like a heard of cattle, thus the bread down in in childrens reading and math skills, just look at test scors all across the country. We are facing a problem with my granson and his teacher this year, she doesn't want to be bothered with teaching him.
2 people like this
@fyrechsr (293)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I totally agree with that in some ways. I don't believe it is all teachers. My sons old school was for the most part following procedure. Until the end anyway. He has never gotten the attention he needs at school until then and now I am back to square one yet again.
Kudo's to you and 8 children. I have 4...more than enough for me lol.
1 person likes this
