What do you want for Christmas?
By laurika
@laurika (4532)
United States
November 19, 2007 6:17am CST
This is the question my hubby ask me yesterday and I tell him, we are together for 2 and half year so he should figure it out by himself what I want. Did I do the right thing? If your partner will tell you this, will you know what to buy him/her? Don't you think if two people live together they should know each other need and wish? He always tell me for christmas he wants nothing, so I always have to figure it out by myself. And sure it is not easy, but just some search on the internet and you can find right present for a person.
8 people like this
31 responses
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I personally think you did the right thing. I am the same way with my husband, I want him to know me well enough to figure out a nice gift for me. When I told my mom this, she got on my case and said I shouldn't expect that of him, and that she gives my dad a list of things to choose from. To me that ruins the idea of "gift", there is no surprise and no "thought that counts" because he doesn't have to think about it.
1 person likes this
@irenego1 (99)
• Hong Kong
20 Nov 07
hmmm.... interesting, usually my husband buy something that i dont really like, but i dont want to tell him, so as to prevent hurting his feelings. but i dont want to say what i really like, i like him to figure it out by himself. what a dilema.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Well they should but it doesn't always happen. Even though we have been married almost 7 years he doesn't always know what I want or like. My tastes differ every year as well so by him asking me what I want, makes it easier for him to either give me the money to buy it or he will go out and get it.
My husband usually tells me he doesn't want anything and so I don't get him anything. He buys things for himself throughout the year and so do I. Last year we only bought Christmas presents for our son, parents and our neices and nephews and this year we will probably do the same.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
19 Nov 07
yeah I know huh LOL when my husband says he doesn't want anything, he actually really means it LOL
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Guys are very literal. If you said "nothing" he'd give you that....
I don't think he can figure it out. You might tell him "something romantic" or "some jewelry" just to get him thinking.
Yes, some guys can pick up hints and clues, but most of them think something shiny is chrome on a car or a nice new power tool.....
1 person likes this
@goodsign (2287)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 07
Hi Laurika.
I think your husband want to be nice and polite with you by asking that kind of question so that at least he cares of you as Christmas is a holy day. Maybe this year there will be something very special for you. However from your words, I am happy, showed that you really in deep love to your husband and I firmly believe that your husband realized this positive expression came from the bottom of your heart.
He will be making a great surprise for you in this Christmas day. Cheers!!!!.
HAPPY DAPPY.
1 person likes this
@luvstochat (6907)
• United States
19 Nov 07
My husband and I usually write out a list of things that we want. This way we know we will get something that we want. My husbans is really forgetful so it dosen't help to drop hints along the way as he will just forget writing them down is easiest for us.
1 person likes this
@zhouyanhua (21)
• China
19 Nov 07
As for me,gift is not the most important thing in my Christmas.I prefer a party with my friends or a lover's tryst.My friends and my lover and family are the most cherished gift in my life,forever. :)
1 person likes this
@ailema4ever (2668)
• Finland
20 Nov 07
Hmmm...for me personally, if my hubby asks me directly what I want, I'll give him some options, so that this way we get the best of both worlds. Meaning I'll get something among some of the things I want and he gets to choose which one he will buy for me according to how much money he has he he he...
I don't think that if you've lived together for a long time, you're supposed to know every need and wish of the other person, 'coz it's too difficult. For me, the best way to be happy is to just tell each other what each of us wants. :-)))
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I think if your husband is asking what you want for Christmas you should tell him. Just because we live with someone doesn't mean we have vision into their every thought and desire. Your husband is asking because he doesn't want to disappoint you. My husband and I don't exchange gifts for Christmas, so I know that I won't be getting anything. There is nothing that I really want, anyway, so it works out.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
27 Nov 07
My man loves fishing too and no I will not buy him fising stuff by myself, but it still can be surpriced and I can ask his friend, what to buy. He can do the same thing, ask mine what is great gift for me. I just want to have surprise. And i am not saying I don't help him, I am talking 24/7 about everything I want. he just need to choose.
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I still have to disagree. Part of having a mature marriage is understanding that men and women communicate differently. Men don't understand hints. If he is asking you for help that is showing that he really wants to please you and just doesn't know how. Trust me, as your marriage grows and you get old together you will see that your husband doesn't ask you for a gift list because he is dense but because he wants you to be happy. For example, my husband loves to fish. There is no way I would buy him fishing equipment without him telling me what he wants. There is just too much to choose from. Give your husband some slack and help him out.
I'm sorry, but having been at the very brink of my marriage disolving I know how important it is to talk and not hint. It seems like a game to men when you say that they should know what you want then are upset later when they don't get the right thing.
@mengchuijie (324)
• South Korea
27 Nov 07
christmas? gife?
for god's sake, who sends me a smart girlfriend?
@Monkeyrose (2840)
• Canada
20 Nov 07
I don't know I've always made a list. Even now I still tell my parents what I want. Sometimes they get me a little something else that is personal.
I think you should tell him. He loves you but he can't read your mind.
@statickery560 (275)
• Philippines
19 Nov 07
As for me, if i can turn back the hands of time so i can be with my parents when i was younger during christmas. I would definitely do. That's all i want for christmas. lol!
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
21 Nov 07
I never ask my hubby what he wants for christmas. We don't buy gifts for each other, we make them. I make him a coupon book with coupons of the things he loves me to do for him. Some examples are a foot rub or/and a pedicure, a back rub, draw him a bath, bake his favourite dessert, run an errand for him, cut his hair, shave him, and so on. You would have to make your own because you know what he likes.
His gift to me is a day at the spa. Now I know I said we don't buy each other a gift but he still does. But not only does he buy me a gift certificate for my spa day but he buys an extra one for anyone I want to take with me. I usually take my daughter with me so we can spend the day together.
Now I know this is probably boring knowing what we each get from the other, but we still like to do it every year. Then we usually have another surprise for each other. This year I am buying myself a negligee to wear for him if you catch my meaning.
@SpankMe (68)
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
im sure it wasn't a malicious question. it was asked for a good purpose. since he loves you so much, he wants the best for you.
guys can be pretty dense so don't take any offense when he asked you what you want cause he actually means what you want, not "i don't know what to give you so just tell me to make it easier"
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
20 Nov 07
If that is how you feel, then surely you did the right thing, although that is certainly not what I would have answered as I hate surprises, most of the time anyway. Being rather frugal (that may be an understatement) I especially hate surprises that somebody spent any amount of money on when I'm just going to give them away, throw them away, or have to find a place to put them and see a reminder that the person wasn't sensitive enough to ask me what I wanted in the first place. So there we are different, but that doesn't make you wrong or me right.
On a few admittedly rare occasions thoughtful people like yourself have chosen perfect gifts which I still have and treasure which were nice surprises. My guy says the same thing, and he is not kidding. Like me, if he wants something he will buy it for himself right then and there and not wait for an occasion.
PS: It is not too late to start dropping hints if you change your mind.
@redbubbles (329)
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
you've been married for two and a half years only. my husband and i were married for thirteen years already and he still ask me except that he knows by heart that i like pizza.lol.
you know there are men who are insensitive to the needs of their wife. or maybe they know it already but they wanted to be sure that you really want and like what he gives you because we have a tendency to change our priorities sometimes. this time we want this, and later we need another thing. right?
on the other hand, we women are very sensitive that we really take note and remember even the smallest things and details what our husband likes and dislikes.
we cannot say, that for two, three or five years of being married, we already know very well our partner. everyday is an adjustment period. from there we have to learn to be more understanding, patient, caring, trustful and what else... cheers:)
@ayou82 (3450)
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
I want a precious gift from my kids.. a long huge hugs and a kiss.. and to see them happy opening their gifts from me that is xmas all about for me.. its a very nice gift...i love them so much,,very much..ahh laurika you make me miss my kids more.. i cant wait to see them very soon.. Goodluck on yah Laurika..
@marissa0124 (179)
• New Zealand
19 Nov 07
I am married for 4 years now and since we got married, we did not give any presents to each other. Why? Because we don't need any material things. As long as we are together during this special day is the best gift that we can give to each other. We buy gifts for our families together and we both decide what to give them. Also, we have many chances to buy what we want even if its not Christmas. We just want to be with our families in this special occassion..=)