why cant we raise our children the way we want?

I agree! That lady was out of place to say that to you. I heard about using hot sauce by more than one person, and although I wouldn't do it myself, it wasn't for her to make a comment like that. Besides she only sounds stupid by telling you that, if you really did something bad, she would have called the cops without telling you. It sounds like she wanted to give you advice (ie. no the best way) but didn't know how to confront you. I might be completely wrong but that's what i think.

This looks like a breakdown in communication to me as an outsider. First off, there are chili sauces that are certainly not appropriate to give a child - If we assume that the woman who interfered thought you were using an inappropriate measure, then we are just left with: Does she have the right to say anything?? This is trickier than it looks because if she totally misunderstood and thought you were going to use something that was going to burn a child, then where do you draw the line of when you should say something? Maybe she wouldn't have reacted if you had said you were going to use some bitter sauce that couldn't harm anyone. To be honest I would never get involved discussing parenting methods in that way, but If I'm truthful, I would be a little concerned about exactly what sauce was going to be used. After all chili can penetrate the skin. All-in-all, she probably shouldn't have said anything, but can you see that you may have said something that might possibly cause concern if it is left open to a wrong interpretation?

While I am not a parent, I do understand what you mean and think that woman should have minded her own damned business. However, I can say that I do think that hot sauce is a bit extreme and would think that there would have to be something a little milder that you can use, like something sour or bitter rather than hot, so I kinda get where she's coming from, but i wouldn't call that abuse. Neither would I say that she had any right to voice her opinion like that. People think it's ok to do and say whatever they want to whomever they want anymore and it's just not. Manner seem to be a thing of the past, don't they?

some people just love to interfere in others' business! how you raise your child is up to you, and putting something on his thumb that doesn't taste very nice is a reasonable thing to do to stop him sicking on it, it's not like you shove rat poison on there or anything lol (hot sauce is edible!). i am a prolific nail biter, have been ever since i can remember, and my poor mum (she doesn't bite her nails) was at her wits end trying to get me to stop as a kid, she used mustard, chilie powder, soy sauce... basically anything edible that was a bit strong to try and stop me from biting my nails... it never did me any harm, infact i rather like all those things now lol. there is a clear nail varnish that you can buy though, it is to deter nail biting, and there is no reason why it shouldn't work for thumb sucking too, it tastes nasty, is not harmful and stays on for longer than hot and spicy foods :D perhaps you could give that a try. and if you see this woman again, smack her in the mouth from me! (lol)

Firstly I want to say well done on you for trying to stop your son from sucking his thumb. Kids who suck their thumbs go through all sorts of issues, from bad speech to bad teeth, so you are doing the good thing here. I would not use hot sauce either but it is certainly not a form of abuse. I think the woman was amazingly rude for butting into your conversation like that.

I am not a parent too myself but i understand how you feel. Just like on the street when a parent is scolding their child, some people likes to interfere. I don't agree with these people. not only that they should mind their business, but sometimes they might give the kid wrong impression that they parent is in wrong not them.

you better use a less painful way, heheh. :p

You can raise your children the way you want to, just make sure that you are not screwing them up, and by that I mean, no verbal abuse (i.e. calling your own child a "brat" or words worse than that), no physical abuse (i.e. slapping them upside the head or whipping them with a belt), and no emotional abuse (i.e. saying things like "you are no good" to your child, or "I wish I never gave birth to you").

She had no right butting in and saying that. I would have told her to shut her mouth. My husband would have told me to keep my mouth shut. LOL. Not when it comes to the kids. I had them and I take care of them. I am the one who decides whats best for them. ME, not you {stranger} I dont care if people dont think what im doing is right. I know whats best for my children and would never hurt them. Other people think they are better and can perent better tham us. Well sorry but everyone parents diffrently. To each there own. I dont think theres anything wrong with what you did. Good job for standing up for yourself!!

Hello Floramwaters. I read you discussion and I exactly understand how you feel.. Well, fact which nobody can change is that you are his mother, and nobody in the world cares more about your son but you so any outsider will always get second preference to this, as first preference is away mother and that is you. As far as I know, children are like soft mould, and whatever shape the parents and teachers will give them, the children will come out accordingly in the society. Children do not know what is wrong and what is right, and it is very necessary to be a bit strict with them in order to mould them into right shape and proper direction. Being a bit strict with children is not abuse. I am from india, and indian parents and teachers are always strict and they see that their children grow up to be decent citizens of country and move around gracefully in the society. So I think if mother is doing something for better future of her children it is not abuse. One should understand difference between strictness and abuse. You are a good mother, so don't get worried by some unwanted advisers..........be happy.

I don't blame you for being upset. I don't know much about breaking a thumb sucking habit but isn't there a medication that you buy over the counter that is pretty much the same idea as the hotsauce method? It makes the thumb taste horrible when it gets put in the mouth. I have heard of others using the hotsauce method and never questioned it. You are not abusing your son....you are trying to help him. I would call your pediatrician to find out if that is an effective way. You did by the way, handle that busy body lady right.

Wehn i was young and i used to cuss my mom would put hot sauce in my mouth as a punishment...i got used to it..i have always told my little girl.. when u talk back i am ganna put hotsauce in ur mouth i havent yet. but i will before it gets totaly out of control.... i would have told that lady. oh u think its child abuse and u wanna call... oh ok well here let me call for you.lolol

I agree with you. I am sick and tired of people like that. It seems to me that there are more people that are sick of "butt-inskys" than there are "butt-inskys". Why can't we band together and change where we are headed as a culture? It is just getting worse. I don't whip my kids anymore(they are too old), and I realize some people don't believe you should. But, you should have the right to discipline your kids the way you see fit(as long as you are not physically injuring them). And, you should be able to put hot sauce on thier hands if you want. You are the parent and God has given you the responsibility of raising your kids. Stand with courage, because it is getting harder to raise your kids in this world we live in. Incidentally, I developed a love for hot sauce when my parents put it on my hands to stop nail biting. YUM!

i understand your anger. People these days, are just unbelievable at times. I wouldn't consider that Child Abuse, i've considered before in the past with my kids, but decided otherwise due to the fact...i don't really want to hear my kids yell and scream everytime they stick their finger in their mouth. But i don't see what's wrong with a little hot sauce(nothing too hot. maybe use a Taco Bell Hot Sauce or something mild'ish).

I hate people who don't even know me or my situation to sit there and butt into my business especially when it concerns my child. I personally wouldnt use hot sauce but I dont think it's child abuse and I would never say anything to you or anyone about it. On the other hand if I heard someone talking about something that I thought was child abuse I would probably just call CYS. I wouldn't even bring it up to that person unless it was a friend/family.

it is the case because they don't understand exactly how their parents are going to raise them. Most of the time they are reluctant to hear what their parents say or wants them to believe. it is nature of people to go against what is told to them.Then the genaration gap also contributes to this.

the problem with people is that they tend to meddle in someone elses affairs instead of just minding their own, i understand how you feel since on my case i also dont want people to meddle on my own life especially concerning my family.

Don't boring, young Mom. Now the children is too courage to express their "right". Maybe the times was changed and children would not be done everything you said. Anyway, he still so clever and intelligent boy can distinguish between right and wrong.

If that woman thinks hot sauce is child abuse, she should go through what one side of MY family does to their kids. If a kid is misbehaving, it's time for "the switch". That is basically a branch off of a rose bush that has hundreds of thorns on it. These are usually smacked right on a bare leg too. When a kid is learning to swim, they are usually just thrown right into the pond.

I HATE when people do stuff like that. I would have told her, since she was listening to my conversation, did she also hear the part where I was having an affair with her husband? lol. First of all, she was eavesdropping, and second, she is not the parenting police. I'd definitely have told the old biddy to mind her own business, and go do something constructive, like jump off a cliff. lol. About the thumb sucking, I don't think there is anything wrong with what you're doing. However, I can tell you that with my daughter, that didn't work. I tried EVERYTHING! Even that nail polish stuff someone else posted about. She sucked her thumb until she was 12 years old, when she got braces. Her teeth were so messed up from that; when she bit her teeth together, there was a definite curviture where her thumb went. Thank God, she finally quit. I think thumb sucking is hereditary, believe it or not. I have an aunt who is very upscale, and I swear to God, she still sucks her thumb on occasion. (She's 58 years old!) I have caught her several times, though she would never admit it. And I personally, didn't stop sucking my thumb until after I was married. ( I would never admit this to a single soul! See, that's why I like this place; nobody knows me, and I can tell all my deep dark secrets! lol) Good luck with your daughter.