Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, then where do teenagers come from....

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I recently moved into a very large apartment that has spare rooms in it. Knowing my teenage daughter I knew she would fill it with a friend or some sort. This is not a problem for most of her friends are good kids, not always the brightest bulb on the tree but well intentioned. The girls have a regular influx of friends here, most of whom think that for a mom I am cool, which of course is good.....I think. Anyway the reason I am cool is because I don't say much, my daughter has told me I shouldn't talk to her friends for not knowing who is in and who is out and who is with whom, I can make a serious mistake. OK...I can handle this for teenagers oftentimes have rules that defy logic. My daughter is 18 and many of her friends are old enough to drink, which is ok...as long as she is not doing anything wrong. I a afraid I did cross the line a few days ago when one fellow came here three sheets to the wind. He was trying to pull a Ritchie Cunningham maneuver and sweet talk the mom person. He came in and said Hi I'm Deric, you must be Jess's mom. I gave it about 60 seconds and said Noooo, actually I'm her dad, I just like to cross dress on weekends. Somebody came along and steered him out the door. I of course asked Jess who and what this person was and she told me he wasn't with them. I said he had to have come with you or he would not have found the door. She said no no you don't understand he came with us, but he is not with us. Well I obviously missed something in the translation. Can anybody tell me where to find directions on understanding teenagers? I could even work with a cheat sheet if I knew where to get one. What seems simple and straight forward to me is like algebra to them. Ask a simple question and they look at you like they would a dentist. Actually many of them even sound like they are at the dentist talking with a mouth full of cotton. Yes I was young once myself, but I know my feet were firmly planted on mother earth.