what's the best way to get rid of the children's bad habit?
By downaalice
@downaalice (209)
China
November 21, 2007 12:20am CST
my daughter is over six years old.it appears that she is very lovely and obedient.she always do as i tells her.but it is not for everything.for example,she always holds the pencil in a wrong way.i tried to persuade her to get rid of the bad habit for many times,but in vain.now she still hold it in her own way.every time i couldn't persuade her ,i want to beat her ,but i controlled myself.because i know,it would not help.i have told the bad effect it may have on her eye and health,but it wouldn't work.what should i do ? appeal for good advice.
5 responses
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
24 Nov 07
Wanting to beat a child over the way she holds a pencil? I think that's just plain bad parenting.
Haven't you ever paid attention to the way people hold their pencils? Not every child will hold their pencil like the other kids, some kids actually find it more comfortable to hold it another way - as long as they can write properly with it, i don't think it should matter & you seem to be making a big deal of nothing.
It's wrong of you to force her to hold it another way & the fact you class this 'pencil holding' as being disobedient is just plain wrong - she's just doing what she finds more comfortable & you should accept that & let her do it that way.
Obviously she can write & colour ok the way she does it, so why should you worry about the way it's held? Does it really make a difference?
I have my 'note pad' facing horizontal when i write (with the top of the page on the left) - that doesn't make me disobedient or wrong, it just means it's more comfortable that way. Maybe you should just relax a little & leave her be, you never know, one day she might decide it's no longer comfortable & start holding it the way you think is the right way!
@downaalice (209)
• China
26 Nov 07
hi ,gemmygirl,glad to see your response and thank you for your good advice.at first i think i am right,i think the way my daughter hold the pencil is wrong.because when she writes the chinese characters in her way of holding the pencil,she always cannot see what she was writing if she sits up straight so she always lean her body away in order to see what she is writing.if she keep doing it like that for a long time,it will hurt her vertebra because she is still very young and her body is not well developed.besides,she cannot write well,because,she just writes chinese charaters blindly and thus cannot write the strokes well.chinese characters is very complicated compared to english letters which is very easy to write.i cannot express myself very exactly,so i am wondering whether i have been well understood .in a world i think for writing chinese characters,it is very important for the pupils to form a good habit of holding the pencil correctly.but i confess that i really commited a mistake.i shouldn't beat the child.afterwards,i always regret doing that.i swear i will not beat my child in the future.because i think a parent always beating his children is of incapacity because beating children proves that he has no ability to persuade his children to follow his advise and has no patience.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
21 Nov 07
You do not force a child to hold a pencil in a certain way. She will do what is comfortable for her. And you certainly do not ever hit a child for such a thing. That is abuse!!!!
@downaalice (209)
• China
21 Nov 07
hi ,rozie,thank you for your response.i know i shouldn't force the children to do what he doesn't want to.but if what he did is really wrong,what should i do after many time's vain persuade.what's ,we don't want they form many bad habits,after all,which will be a barrier for their future.for them to get rid of them will be much harder because it will be natural if one has formed a bad habit.
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
24 Nov 07
This is NOT a bad habit at all, it's also not WRONG for her to hold the pencil that way.
You do things your way, others do this their way, maybe she just does this thing different to you.
@mistissa (1349)
• Netherlands
21 Nov 07
I know what you mean, my son does the same with his fork and spoon when eating. Just keep on repeating it, they will teach her how to hold it at school too. Also there are certain helpers you can put around the pencil, so you can learn how to hold it correct. You can buy it at your local bookstore.
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
22 Nov 07
hi downaalice :) so glad to see your post here :) hehe.. Rozi is rite, u should never force ur daughter to do things that she dun like.. Let her do it her own way and there's a reason as too y she wanna hold the pencil that way.. As long as she feels comfortable and can write well, no matter how she holds the pencil is ok..Just like me, i'm a left handed person but since young, my parents keep forcing me to use my right hand to write, so i will only use right hand when they are around, after which when they not looking, i iwll switch back to my comfortable left hand :)
@downaalice (209)
• China
23 Nov 07
hi kun,glad to see your response.from what you said,i feel i should not force her to do that.as long as she feels comfortable,that is ok.thank you for your response.
@menctomas (278)
• Philippines
23 Nov 07
what do you mean the right way? for the times that she was holding the pencil, was it for writing purposes? because you mentioned about hurting her eye or her health so that means she was using the pencil for something else. in cases like that, children under 8 years old should be holding sharp objects unsupervised. especially when they don't know enough about what can hurt them. however, if you are with her and you are teaching her to write, there is really no right or wrong way. everybody is different, left or right handed. even the doctors cannot explain why some are right handed and others left handed. as for wanting to beat her because of this small thing, well, it definitely wouldn't help. and it would make matters really worse because she is only six and you said that she is a lovely and obedient child. i don't get your comment about getting mad enough to beat your daughter just because you couldn't persuade her to hold her pencil the "right way". sorry. don't expect too much of your child. she is still in the learning stage and beating her about things like this will damage her.
@menctomas (278)
• Philippines
23 Nov 07
sorry shouldn't be holding sharp objects unsupervised. my brain was faster than my fingers.
