What if you notice your son is GAY?
By cornchips50
@cornchips50 (204)
Philippines
November 21, 2007 8:22am CST
I have 16 y.o son I notice he is so friendly with males and i don't mind it at all. But... when one midnyt i was awaken of my celphone ringing a male was looking for a girls name VALERIE with a Visayan accent. This male insisted that i am the Valerie he was calling of. I found out twas my son. Another incident i saw a compact powder inside his bag. When i caught his attention he said twas his girl classmate powder. So, i didn't ask anymore. I was thinking the girl just kept it to his bag maybe his GF. Pretty soon i saw him with eyeliner when he comes home late at night. So, i burst in anger and caught his attention again. His alibi twas their dancing program in school that is why he put on make up. But on the contrary i told him "what is the connection of your eyes in dancing my dear boy"?Now i am much worried cause i saw his groups all gays. During weekends he don't sleep in the house and when he comes home with kissmarks in the neck.
I am wondering if a girl will do that kiss mark she is not a good girl cause i've been to that age i have a BF but i never put something like that to my BF.
My problem is how can i accept it if one day he will say that he loves males. Today he never accept it but action speaks louder. He is still denying to me that he is not a gay.
2 people like this
10 responses
@Raymo23 (463)
• Uganda
21 Nov 07
I do not want to read much into his actions but then I think your fears are correct. Regardless of what most people here have told you, homosexuality is wrong, a crime against God-at least for the main stream religious groups of Christianity and Islam.
Talk your son about the consequences of the direction he is taking, how society will react towards him. Many people are coming to condemn homosexuality, but its wrong. He is your son, and you have a duty to show that you love him, but if you let him take this road like some people are telling you, then it will mean that you hate him. Try to involve him with a counselor, or religious leader to get him out of that evil hole.
Good Luck
Raymond.
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
21 Nov 07
First af all I dont get why those things would mean that he is gay. Now days boys take care of their skin and the way they look as much as girls do. (why was he calling you on your phone and how does that mean that he is gay I dont get it). Belive it or not girs are not all thet good and they do live kissmarks more than boys. So I think you are safe. And then again so what if he is? would you love your son less?
@cornchips50 (204)
• Philippines
22 Nov 07
hi violeta,
It was not my son whose calling me over the phone. My son disguised. He is using the name VALERIE and he is using my celphone. This guy who call over the phone was my sons chatm8. I thing the fellow fall inlove with that Valerie name that my son is using.
what i am afraid of here in our village teenagers hated gays they hurt what if they hurt my son cause so noticeable his different from boys. His movements, he sway, he blink his eyes, obviously flirt lol. OMG!
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
22 Nov 07
If my son was going through this, I would make sure he knew it was okay to talk to me. I would make sure he knew that I would support him no matter what his sexuality is. I would make sure he felt safe in my home no matter what. That is what I would do.
Of course, since I don't see anything wrong with being gay, my reaction would probably be different from most people's. But even if you don't approve of homosexuality, your son is still your son, and so if he is gay you need to make sure you let him know that he will still be loved by his parent.
@jesus777 (662)
• Bermuda
21 Nov 07
hi corn chips 50 you seem to be ina pickle with you son but i need to ask one ? did he have a farther figure in his life because i know that if boys dont have a farhter they look for someone outside to replace that void that relationship that connection that they did not have to a loving farhter growing up but i also know that it is the same for girls if they did not a mother growing up they look for other females to compesate for there mother they never had is this the case here because from what i am reading i think he may felem uncofortable in his body and want too be a woman not man i do not condone this but maybe he may be having a identity crisis and need some counselling to wokr on the deeper wich lie within him because there is something more happening on the inside that the naked eye cant see at this point and he may need professional help to work through his issues1111
@lancingboy (1385)
• United States
22 Nov 07
That's a great picture of your son. So that makes you guys asian? That's cool. Anyway, many dancers wear eyeliner because on the stage, it makes the audience see his eyes better. Dancing is about showing emotion through movement and facial expressions. The compact powder is also what dancers use to put the make-up on. Many famous male actors wear make-up. That is used to hide blemishes and imperfections on camera.
@mandeep_narang (108)
• India
22 Nov 07
jesus christ has the power to set the captives free.this is demonic...use the authority given by lord jesus christ and cast this demon out in jesus christ name....
@muralimn (534)
• United Arab Emirates
21 Nov 07
I feel that you should not be very strict with your kid of this age. Children at this age is very sensitive and emotional. So if you yourself try to make your child think that something is wrong with him, it will really be harmful for him. Trust your child when he denies something. Let him know you trust him and just give him your love.
@Nykkee (2522)
• Canada
21 Nov 07
Does it really matter if your son is gay? I mean really? He is still your son. In this day and age being gay shouldn't have much or any effect on anything else in his life. It will not make him less successful or anything like that. In fact it is a well known fact that fay men are often preferred for alot of fancy jobs. And with all the children out there that needto be adopted he could still give you a grandchild one day. Many gay men will find a woman, often a friend, to carry thier biological child for them if they want children when they grow up. Besides, in my personal opinion, it really isn't healthy for parents to try to influence thier childrens romantic choices or affect thier decisions on sexuality. Try to look on the bright side, if your son it gay, if you look at it the right way, you are getting the best of both worlds, you have a son that can help you with things that sons do, like mowing the yard and takine out the garbage, and at the same time you have a shopping and spa day companion, as good as haveing a daughter. Just love your children for who they are. A child's sexuality should be irrelevant to thier parents.
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
21 Nov 07
Very tough subject. I am the father of 3 males. Not sure what I would do in this case. Kick their rears is my first reaction but I have a neice that married a young man that wore eye liner. He was a self proclaimed artist. I would let him be young though. Dont make him grow up till he has to. Love him with all your might.
@ayou82 (3450)
• Philippines
22 Nov 07
WEll if he turns out to be gay.. there is nothing you can do about it.. hard to push someone or change someone who have this type of calling..If i found out if my son is like this.. i think ill just accept the fact that he is.. Coz the more you stop them the more rebellious they are getting..
As long as your son dont engage himself to something that is out of this world thinga.. then dont worry parental guidance is in your hands my dear.. talk to him and tell him that you love him..no matter how pink the lipstick he wore last Saturday and how high the heels he broke yesterday..he is still your son...in dress to sexy top to shorts and kissmarks nothing can ever change the way he really is..Goodluck Dear
