BREAKUPS...And How do YOu get out of that Dark Place?
By April
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
United States
November 23, 2007 10:38pm CST
Ok soo..i was soo in love..that everytimei heard his voice on the phone..or when his truck pulled in my driveway my heart would skip a beat.There was nothing in this world that iwouldnt have done for him..I was so in love..and then i fell and hurt my back..ended up in the hosipital..then my best friend..where so i thought took me in her home and cared for me..a week..and he would come and see me..everyday..then i find out..they were having an affair..I never thought Ryan wouldhave ever done anything like that to me..never!! and then her..omg she was my best friend and my sister in my heart..and we had been friend for so long..anywho..hes now with her..although he didnt want a relationship or was ready..hes living with her now..whatever///and she had the nerve to appologoze? and asked me to more or less give him mercy..lol lol..when i havent done anything yet..but i look at it like this..why should u give anyone mercy especially the people the killed my life..but me..im waiting for Kharma..it will find them and has already found him..and im sure her turn is soon..soo this is me..i havent been able to stop crying since we broke up..its been about 2 weeks now..and im in this very dark place..and i cant get out..i just sit and stare..i pray to God to help me..and he isnt answering..i think about everything we did together..and the fun memeories we made..and then i try not to think and it comes back..im soo sad..depressed..and i have never hated anyone in my life..and im afraid this is where im at with them..i dont laugh.and if u have read other posts..thats me..the nothing bugs me gal and always is laughing..there is no more laughing..no more twinkle inmy eyes..and i feel like they have killed me..and whats worse..ithink i was in love with someone i thought he was..not who he really was..and i know this..but it still hurts..and i cant get out..and i hate Sky seeing me like this..im on meds and they arent working..I need help from any one that has been hurt..have u been in this dark place? plzz help me out..thanx
3 people like this
13 responses
@subha12 (18441)
• India
10 Dec 07
look it is very sad for you at this moemnt. But who should be thankful to God that the person you thought to be your love, is not at all worth you. He was playing with your emotions.Now it has come to picture to you. so try to look out for someone who is worth of your love.
@Forofficeorhomeuse (50)
• United States
10 Dec 07
I think everyone goes through at least one break up in there life. ( Married or Not )How the break up transpires and materializes isn't what matters most. Yes there is hurt, with that will also come bitterness, and distrust. However, what matters most is the experience and gain of knowledge that will benefit you in the future. Finding love that is true and honest is one of the greatest gifts that life has to offer. Love requires that we allow ourselves to take risks. Life and love is well worth the risk, the reward in finding someone as passionate as you about love, and will show you unconditional love, meaning to remain faithful and committed to you is the truest test of love. You have had a relationship with this person, and none you consider yourself the victim, but the person who was ultimately responsible for the break up is the real victim of their own wrongdoing. They have ultimately cheated on themselves, they cheated themselves out of the rare opportunity to experience true love. Healing will be long and difficult, especially if it was a long relationship. As your healing has begun, you will find yourself moving from the hurt and disappointment of what has happened to feelings of anger and resentment. Once you can dealt with your own emotions and feeling, then you are really prepared to move on and give of yourself as you had in the past. Its tough to move on but be able to move into a future relationship without the baggage, meaning it will be necessary to find a way to forgive and let go , holding resentment and ager and carrying it into the future is a major mistake. Many people think the grass is always greener on the other side but in the end it was just there imagination. Be happy he is out of your life, "our character is what we do when no one is looking." Think about that and know that you aren't the first person this has happen to nor the last. One day you will look back at this and say....this dark place needs some brightening up. God does things for a reason.
1 person likes this
@visitorinvasion (7709)
• United States
24 Nov 07
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Breakups suck. Unfortunately, the only thing that ever worked for me is to delve deeper into that dark place until I became totally numb and unable to shed another tear. Eventually the hurt turns to anger...how dare he do me like that?! Then once the anger has subsided, I was able to move on to find the love of my life.
good luck to you, Kicker. Keep your chin up. You'll get through it.
1 person likes this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
27 Nov 07
Oh sweetie. I know you're hurting beyond belief.
My only advice for you is to cry it out and throw yourself into doing things with Sky as much as possible. Just focus all your energy into him.
Eventually the pain will ease up.
That was really low of your best friend. Not to mention your boyfriend. That's just wrong. But you're right - they'll get theirs too.
1 person likes this
@cdv102 (132)
• United States
24 Nov 07
Oh yeah, I've been there. Believe me. When I got my heart broken, I truly thought I would never, ever recover, that I would feel that hurt and lost forever. I thought I couldn't possibly get over it. Until one day an amazing thing happened: I got over it. Well, not that I ever got over being hurt like that, but one day I just started to feel better and like I could start over again. It took a really long time, but I did come out of it. Part of how I dug my way out was by doing good things for myself. I started traveling to great places, I started taking classes I'd always wanted to take, I started working out and getting my hair and nails done on a regular basis--just anything that both kept me busy and made me feel good about myself. The key is to take the focus off of them and put it back on you. And finally, when I felt ready, I started dating again. (That part wasn't always fun, but it did help me realize that the guy who hurt me wasn't the only man on earth and that there were still plenty of decent guys out there who would want me and treat me the way I deserved to be treated.) Remember that the best revenge is living well. I just kept the thought in my mind that the next time I ran into him, I wanted him to feel sorry he ever left my side. That I would be this great-looking, successful, well-traveled, happily dating, busy girl who hadn't given him a second thought. Believe me, you will never forget what they did to you, but one day you will be amazed that you ever gave either of them the time of day. You aren't alone and you WILL make it through this.
1 person likes this
@raychill (6525)
• United States
25 Nov 07
When people break up it's always a hard thing. For both people. There is no right answer and there is no easy answer but the best way to deal with it is certainly not to see this person or have memories of this person. I work with my ex, imagine how much fun it was for me to "move on" from his cheating on me and breaking up with me when I work with him everyday AND the girl who he cheated on me with. Nice right?
It's tough and like I said there is no right answer. But you'll be able to move on eventually I'm sure... it'll just take some healing.
1 person likes this
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
24 Nov 07
Oh..sorry to hear this but really you should be thanking him..if he is so quick to leave you are good to let him and forget about him..he isnt worth your time of day.
You are too good a person to get mixed up with him..and that your friend is a thief..stealing the one you thought would be the one..then she really was never a friend..
Time has a way of showing us for who we are: for good or for bad.
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
24 Nov 07
Yes I've been there. Three things will heal you:
1 - Time. It's only been 2 weeks so it's natural to be sad and hurting. In a few months you'll be over him.
2 - The realization that there are many men out there. Why cry over one? Why let one guy ruin your life?
3 - Positive thinking. He is a cheating pig and it is better to find out now than later in marriage. Now you're free to look for a better man.
So stop thinking that your life is over.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov 07
I am sorry that you feel hurt from this relationship and rather sad. The first few weeks after a break up are the hardest. I suggest that you try not to let bitterness upset you regarding your friend going off with Ryan. Life can be unfair sometimes. I think if you did some things you really enjoy like meeting other friends, going for a long walk, taking a day trip to an interesting place, watching a good film, reading a nice book or soaking in a hot bath might make you feel a bit better. I suggest writing down all your negative feelings about what has happened to you, then rip it up and throw it away. Maybe keep a diary in which you focus on your feelings as they become happier. Soon the life in you will come back and you will be happy again. Try taking one step at a time and things will soon work out for you. Good luck and please take care.
1 person likes this
@try32ends (207)
• India
24 Nov 07
You just got to give yourself some Time. Time's the best healer, and it does pale away with time, every mark of the past.
Also, you gotto take a stance and look up at life. Undoubtedly, this is a hugely disappointing phase of your life. But, be positive. If there's a problem then deal with it and move on. Life doesnt give you marks for crying over spilt milk and looking back. The only way is the one that goes forward.
Hard Luck for you, but that only means things can only get better for you from now on!
Cheers!
1 person likes this
@babiixgiirl (258)
•
24 Nov 07
Oh, yeah, I've been in that dark place one too many times for my liking. I mean, I was engaged to the love of my life, about two years ago - they'd both been my best friends for as long as I can remember, and they didn't even LIKE each other - or so they SAID. I found out that he'd cheated on me, once or twice, with the same girl, and used her shoulder to cry on - then, about three weeks later, I found out that she was the cow who he'd been sleeping with the whole time.
To be honest, there's no easy way to get out of this 'dark place', you have to just try and get a little closure - I know that probably sounds impossible, right now, but you'll just have to take each day as it comes. Just remember, revenge won't get you anywhere (and yes, I speak from experience).
Good luck with everything.
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
24 Nov 07
Writing about what you would do to them? I don't know! lol. Every time things have gone wrong in my life, I have written about it, a diary, poetry, letters etc. it has helped me.
Smile every day, no matter if you don't feel like it, and move on. Time heals the heart and things happen for a reason.
Karma will bite both of them on the bum at some stage! And it bites 3 times, and 3 times as hard! lol.
1 person likes this
@fangyansnake (116)
• China
24 Nov 07
Do not complain for your friend,to be loved and to love isn't her fault.Just remember,The sadness which can be described is not sadness,the lover who can be get by other girls is not a lover.Go ahead and look for your true love.
1 person likes this
