My 16year old son get angry at times
By diane52
@diane52 (33)
Jamaica
November 24, 2007 10:00pm CST
My son who is 16 is angry lately. Last year we had a break in, 3 boys broke in on us while we were at home(we have had break ins before but no one was at home) they wanted money and we did not have any. I was badly hurt, after this incident he told me that he wanted to hurt one of the boys,(all the boys had some long knifes which they were holding over me) but I am thankful that he did not try to do anything because they would have chopped him may be even kill him. He seems ok at times and he did very good in his final year exams and is now in college, I try not to get angry with him because I know he is still trying to get pass this, I am still trying to get pass this myself, he is also angry at his father who does not live with us. Can anyone try to help me so I can try to help him..............Thank you
6 people like this
8 responses
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
25 Nov 07
It sounds like a lot of what your son is going through is due to his dad not living with you. I think you really need to sit down with him and talk about that. From there, you may learn of other things which you can work on.
I don't know what has happened with you relationship with his dad, but your son needs to know that it wasn't his fault!
I hope you are able to work things out!
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
27 Nov 07
There is a difference between knowing it and feeling it though. boys are tricky creatures to predict! lol. Yeah, my husband behaves like a teen still and he is over 50. Maybe there is something going on at school. you know, pressure to work and peer pressure. It is a rough time the teen years. i guess I will find that out soon enough. I hope that all does go well for your son and his Dad, it is very important for you adults to be civil to each other too, or he will feel as though he has to take sides.
@eachen2002 (889)
• United States
25 Nov 07
I've had a couple of attacks on me.I take karate.It helps with the anger sometimes and helps me be a little more confindent in myself.Of course I know it's not for everyone.What ever he needs to help himself feel confindent in himself will have to be his own choice of course but he sounds like a very smart man.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
25 Nov 07
You should be running to get your son in therapy. This is even more important than college. Anger can ruin everything for him. I was in college and dealing with anger. My psychology teacher advised me to deal with my issues first.
I was not even able to concentrate on my studies. I was surely going to fail the class. For a son to feel so powerless while some is invading his space and threatening his mothers life, I can't imagine what he must be feeling. Sounds like you also need to move to a safer enviroment.
@diane52 (33)
• Jamaica
26 Nov 07
We did go to therapy, but I figure we did not stay long enough you know when you feel a little better you think you are ok but not so . So we are going to give the therapy sessions another try this time we will stay even if we think we are fine. Thanks for your advise
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
25 Nov 07
you guys have had some very very tramatic things happen to you. It is no wonder at all that he may be troubled! his anger at his dad could stem from the feeling that dad should have been there to protect the home. If I were you, I would be getting him into some sort of councelling to help him sort thru his emotions. Councelling could help you both deal with these issues.
@asgtswife04 (2475)
• United States
25 Nov 07
Quite honestly, I think that your son was tramatized by this and seeing these boys hurt you. You might want to consider talking to him about going to counseling so that he can try and get past the anger and fear that he has. Alot of times, especially in boys and men, their fear comes out as anger and they don't know how to control or deal with it. I'm sure he has a lot of mixed emotions about what happened and he needs to find something that will help him deal with it and heal that anger and fear. The anger towards his father is probably that he wasn't there to protect you or your son. That is very tough for any child to deal with. It would probably be good for both of you to go to counseling so that you can get past your experience as well. That and it will let your son know that he's not the only one going through this. You and him could get through this together. Keep us posted on how things are going and I'll be praying for you and your son. God bless !
@nkhanna (922)
• India
25 Nov 07
hi Diane. i am really sorry for whatever happened to you and your son.well i think your son is in a age where you need to be his friend rather than being a mom.because children of this age are of very repulsive nature.being a boy it would really hurting him that he was not able to do anything when those guys came.i dont know why your hubby left you,but try to make him understand in a friendly manner.remmeber this is the itme when he has to make his career,so tell him to focis more on this,so that he can give you more happiness nad secured life.
@Stiletto (4579)
•
25 Nov 07
That's a very traumatic thing that happened to both of you so I can see why your son is still disturbed by it. I guess there are a few issues going on, anger at his father because he was not there to protect you both, and possibly anger at himself because he could not do anything to stop the boys who broke in. I see you already responded to someone else that he has had some counselling, I think he probably needs more. He obviously has unresolved issues that need to be talked through with someone so counselling might help. Good luck with it anyway.
@hopejordan (3561)
• Australia
26 Nov 07
hi there diane52
16 years old and he is yelling at you thats not on but i know my son he is 11 years old and he yells at me too and he tries to tell me what to do too but i use the wooden spoon on him on his bottom if he does not listen i give him a couple of warnings but is dont know about a 16 year old but my dad told me when he was in from over seas my grandfather my dad was over his 20's and he got a beating and my dad was naughty at that time
but i still got a beating even over the head that is an abuse maybe it was not then but it is now thanks for this discussion and happy posting
