Dilemma...help me!
By donnoname
@donnoname (79)
United States
November 25, 2007 4:50am CST
I've got a problem with a girl and I don't know what exactly to do. I'm talking about a real problem linked with person who I love so much and it is really driving me crazy. I'm so hopeless and desperate so I decided you to ask someone more experienced than me for help.
First, let me introduce you to my life. I think in this way you can understand my problem and have a look from my position. An year ago, actually year and a half, I met a girl. We became close friends and when I got used to become familiar with her personality I found out that she is not just an ordinary girl. In my opinion she is unique. The sweetest girl ever if you know what I mean. I fell inlove with her but my feelings wasn't the same as another time. This time my feelings were very strong. I don't just like her or just love her but I really care about that girl. I'm lost without her little hands, her sweet smile, her hair and everything about her. So, November last year she had already been oficially my girlfriend. You can imagine how happy I was. But that time was really hard for me many problems with family, job and so on and so on...Meanwhile, I forgot to say that we had become best friends. And she broke up with me. All she said was that she just hasn't feelings anymore and plus that she doesn't want to lose me as a friend because she cares about me.
I was really desperate. One year, I mean up to the day we are today, I was trying to get her back to me. But unsuccessfully. So many hard moments, so many slepless nights, so many pain. And the strangest thing is that she wants to be close to me but just like friends. She has told me many times that she loves me so much and I mean something to her but nothing more than a friend.
I tried to forget about her but I couldn't. And how I could? We're together everyday I write SMS to her every single night. Even last night I slept just next to her, massaged her legs, kissed her goodbye. But she wanted from me to promise that I will do nothing more than that, that I will forget about her. And now she thinks that I don't feel anything anymore and I don't want to tell her because in this way I will hurt her.
Anyways, I love her more than ever nowadays. And I can't stop thinking of her. But as I said I promised her something and I don't know what to do, how to make the "first step" of getting closer again. And I know that it is possible because she loves me and for me she is the point of my life. So I think I can make her happy but I don't know how to get her back.
Well, it's your turn now. Please help me!
1 person likes this
6 responses
@silver_shaddow (1204)
•
25 Nov 07
hello my friend,
u sound like you are in some deep trouble.
My advice to you is to NEVER chase her. girls like to be chased. and the more needy you are the more merciless they will become. they like seeing u this way. TRUST ME ON THIS.. i speak from experience.
if u love someone, set them free, if she comes back to you, she is your to keep. if not, well @ least u tried. as u said she has lost love 4u as a lover, but not as a friend? well i see its killing you being her friend too. take my advice, block contact with her.. go free..women always like to be given a choice, not forced into one, just let her be..ok?
and NEVER, NEVER allow urself to be locked in ur own mind going nowhere and thinking about all that could have been. it will consume u, perhaps drive to depression and insanity, u might do things u WILL regret. focus on yourself first and foremost. be the thing that she likes but dont do it for her. and absolutly DO NOT wait for her to come back...if she really loves you she will come back.
I know what i am saying is difficult and hard..but u must be strong.
2 people like this
@donnoname (79)
• United States
25 Nov 07
Yeah, I know all your advices but I don't know if I can handle it. I can't imagine if I block contact with her...
@zzn303 (85)
• China
25 Nov 07
Hi,friend.Actually,I am confused by her,the girl who makes you crazy.As what you say,she has told you she loves you so much.So why she does not accept you as her boyfriend?And why you mean something to her but nothing more than a friend?Do you know?If not,I suggest you to cleat about this first.Hope you will get her back soon.Lookong forward to your good news.
@donnoname (79)
• United States
25 Nov 07
Thanks, my friend. When I read your comment I felt you know something like hope :)
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
25 Nov 07
i think it's just best if you move on. If you realyl love her you will let her go. If you just keep trying to get her back you are only pushing her away.
1 person likes this
@donnoname (79)
• United States
25 Nov 07
Hi, my friend. I tried to do that but I realised something. To move on what is it for me to move on? I think that she is my past but she is my future, too. As I said we're together all the time.
@maictorek (83)
• Philippines
25 Nov 07
you are in some dilemma donnoname... i'm a bit confused with the actions of your lady friend/ex. i think you were both in a confused state when you became a couple so instead she opted to be friends with you. now you may ask, "why does she want to be friends? can't she see its hard for me to just remain friends?" from your words, i could sense that your love for her is simply oozing out and it would be absurd if she doesn't sense that too. maybe (take note this is simply an ASSUMPTION) she feels the same way but would rather not rekindle your romantic relationship. the next best thing (or in this case, the lesser evil): being friends with you. starting the relationship with personal turmoil takes its toll, as you can see with what happened to yours. tell her how you feel. will she get hurt? maybe. the point is, you shouldn't bottle up your emotions. listen to her response too. whether you get her back or not at least you have closure. you could tell yourself, i did my best to win her back. maybe it could go your way, maybe it wouldn't. this will nor be easy. nothing's easy anyway. good luck!
@donnoname (79)
• United States
25 Nov 07
Thanks a lot, friend. Really good answer to my problem. Thanks again!
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
25 Nov 07
Just relax, take it easy. You're taking it too seriously. Just let your friendship flow naturally. There's more to life than her.
You mentioned you had a lot of problems. This is your opportunity to concentrate on those. And when you have fixed many aspects of your life, maybe she will be attracted to you again.
@aceballos (99)
• United States
26 Nov 07
Here is my advice. LET HER GO!!! They say you don't know what you have until its gone. It is true and if she loves you as much as you believe she does then she will come back at your terms. You need to move on for a while. It is not possible to be her friend as it is hurting you and friends don't cause each other pain. Tell her you can't see her or even talk to her. Don't email her or answer any of hers. Give it some time and maybe it will work out but if it doesn't it wasn't meant to be.
