Gender roles and expectations.

Oh I think there needs to be a lot of lightening up in this area, people seem to have name tags that people must fit too, it isn't always like that, as I have said many times everyone is different and a lot of people do not fit to any of the tag names. I am a female and I have had a lot of experience with people that fall under a lot of these tag names, I am a straight female but for two years I had a very close relationship with a gay male, not a physical relationship but emotionally very strong, through this person I met many of his friends, I met some people who also do not fit the tag names, like straight married men who don't mind a bit of fun with gay guys but they do not consider themselves gay, they have no attraction to to members of their own gender, I am a person that people can talk to in confidence and have told many things, from some of these conversations I would say there are a lot of married women out there that do not realize what their husbands have been up to.

This is a subject I'm actually very passionate about. I loathe gender roles really, the only time I think of them is when I think about how much I wish they'd disappear. "Butch" and "Femme" are more..styles, to me, than WHAT a person is. And everyone should be able to choose their own style, WITHOUT discrimination. Take me for example, I'm not very femme or butch, I tend to have more of the random somewhat in-between but still practical looks. When I'm feeling expressive it's not surprising for me to wear stripes and polka dots TOGETHER with crazy colors. Does this make me eccentric? Not necessarily. To define any individual would take a lifetime, and one everyone should be fully dedicated to spending, if they wish to use ANY lables. Alas, this does not always occur to everyone. Society operates within standards and "norms". Of course, civilizations have always changed..and the norms change right along with them, so its not necessarily the standards amd norms which're the problems..but the most people's inability to think BEYOND them, their desperate clinging to them..which places boundries on themselves and sometimes people will try to impose them on others. We're supposed to be a free-thinking society, but...people don't always much act like it, trying to always conform. Mind, not everyone's stick in gender roles and expectations..but alot of people still are. It hasn't really lessened that much since fifty years ago, the language of it has, and maybe it's gotten...slightly less vivid. Something people take for granted. But it's still around.

gender roles and expectations help organize our society. those who stray from the gender norms help enrich the diversity of our society. sadly, our world is governed by standards. the level of acceptance to a group or society depends on the compliance to the standards. in other words, the farther one strays away, the less accepted one will be in the society. this happens to those who stray from the gender norms. it is true that they are stigmatized. compared ten years ago, stigmatization for homosexuals is getting duller. gradually, they are being assimilated and accepted as part, productive and creative part of society. i know there are still few battles to be won, yet i believe we have already triumphed.

Just like Bill Cosby said about blacks: In order to stop whites from using the N word, blacks must stop using it themselves. It's not okay for a white person to say the N word then get hung out to dry, but rappers and other black people can say it and it's okay. Double standard there? Same thing. I know some gay people are a bit, um, open about their sexuality and let the whole world know it. They themselves call each other flaming f-g queens and flaming queers, and until that stops, why cant we all call people f-gs and queers? Why is it only wrong for outsiders to call them as much, but it's perfectly okay for insiders to call each other those words. Stop the words from the inside group. The work on the outsiders.