Are we raising our kids correctly?

Hi Sherinek, Im not a parent, but I see people with their kids on a daily basis in public, and I do think kids have taken over in many households. I would have never dared to treat my parents the way I see some kids doing it today. They talk back, curse, do what they want and its just shocking really. Younger children throw fits and cry and scream and parents give in because they dont want to hear it. If discipline was in action, I dont think kids would act this way. You can discipline kids without abusing them or hitting them in any way. I think parents might think their kids will hate them, but Im sure their parents did things they didnt like and they didnt stop loving them. Things arent always going to be peaches and cream especially between parents and children. I can imagine it hard saying no to them, I have a hard time saying no to my hubby or freinds! But sometimes you have to say no, and the way you go about it makes all the difference. Bay Lay Gray xx

Whatever you say, I would like to say BIG NO. We as parents are failing in our duty in not properly raising the children. It is probably due to present day busy schedule both the parents have. Whatever is the reason, if the child is not brought up properly, then it is the parents who are going to suffer in future. The old values like respect for elders, adherence to some principles of honesty, dedication, hard work are fading and now-a-days parents seem to be lacking interest or losing grip on children and if they do not spend time with children by correcting whereever they are going wrong, no one except parents are to be blamed.

Parents, I mean modern day parents are just too busy with the hussles of life than with the dynamics of parenting. In working families, where both mum and Dad leave home very early in the morning and come back deep into the night, when do they find time to teach and mentor their kids? Kids become little "Lords of the Fly" in the Home and they even start questioning the authority of parents. Parents should have time for their kids, to know who they socialize with and to say no to wrong peers. Parents should drive their kids a long a set of beliefs that make them grow into law abiding and useful citizens. Parents should attempt to bond with their kids and assert their authoriy over them. In my culture we dont spare the rod to spoil the child-my father was a loving man, but he did not hesitate to cane us for our transgressions-that made us grow up knowing that in the home it was he and mum who ran the show. In the west am told, caning a child is a crime and children are known to have taken their parents to court, this demands that parents find other ways of asserting their authorities over their kids in manner that permits the kid to accept their teaching, mentoring and authority.

The white truth is that these whole controversy has been settled in th living word of God . "Train up a child in the way he should go , and when he's old - he won't depart from it" . Furthermore,"spare not the rod ,less you spoil the kid" . The Bible said children are bound in foolishness,the parents are the ones to pave a niche for their children ,but they've failed in their matrimonial tasks . Too bad, so sad , to see our society will be heading for a decadent one with such approaches.

I believe that local churches need to have parenting classes. They need to teach the expecting parents from the word of God about raising their children properly. After all, it is the best instruction manual ever created.

I cannot say that I raised my kid correctly all i know is that I try my very best to lead him on the right track I could that I raised him right if He has his own life.

Well I think that kids are taking charge coz we are letting them to. We are giving our kids too many options, too many exposures to various media and we are too stressed out most of the time to sit back and take the rein in our own hands. In the case of your nephew…before his parents could discipline him, they thought of child psychology, counseling, state interference, peer pressure, bad effects of corporeal punishment, their own career (maybe) etc etc. In the midst of all this, they just let things happen hoping and believing that once the child grows up, he will be able to take his own responsibility. But children seldom take their own responsibility until and unless we teach them to…and for that parents need to combine indulgence and discipline in the right mix. Nowadays we hear so much about not hitting a child, not scolding a child, giving respect to the child etc. But we were not brought up that way. Our demands were met, new toys and candies were bought, we went for holidays but we also obeyed a certain line, crossing which was sure to mean a good spanking. We resented it at that time, but it put the fear of the parent in our minds. Counselors tell us that a child should not fear a parent. I don’t believe in it. By fear I don’t mean that the child should actually tremble all the time, but before the child does anything, h/she should at least think of the repercussions back home. We don’t fear our friends, so we can do anything and everything with them, neither are they bothered about our well-being (given that their maturity level is same as ours.) Similarly a child can booze with friends without fear, but if parents are strict at home, h/she will definitely give it a second thought before indulging. All in all, direct involvement in the child’s daily affairs is a must for every parent. We cant let a child act as a grown up and take all decisions when we know that children are not mature enough to be responsible.

i don't believe in physical punishment when it comes to disciplining kids...physical punishment will only traumatize their childhood...

Parenting is a very tough job. We can only do our best and pray alot. No it is not wrong to set limits and expectations for our kids. Parenting is a 24-7 job and I think most of us worry and wonder whether we are doing good enough.

dont be afraid of what your kids might be you said that you do your best best to raise them well....it is right to scold them ...why? so that they can realized whats right or wrong they do....

Although it would not be a popular option, I honestly believe the best way to take control of our kids again would be to go back to old fashioned family values. One of the parents could be at home caring for the household while the other parent worked to provide for the family. In this way the kids have someone at home when they leave for school and when they return. The kids feel that there is a parent watching out for them. It would mean a huge change in lifestyle for most (at least in the U.S), but it would be worth it. As families we need to learn to spend more time together, spend less money, want less "things", and start having a heart again. We need to spend time volunteering together and sharing ourselves with other people- not our electronic gadgets. I honestly think that the decline of the parental authority comes from two parent working households and the extremely high divorce rates.

Be a parent first then be a friend. You have to set boundaries for your kids and not let them rule the roost. I see kids all the time backtalk and slap their parents around as if the kids were the wardens of the prison. The parents are supposed to step up and take charge. You won't damage an ego or bruise a psyche if you actuall parent and set limits and control the little demonic monsters. If I even tried to raise a hand to my mother when I was little, I wouldn't be around to hear about it. I got slapped whenever I backtalked and was disciplined where I have respect for others, know when I'm not in charge and do what I'm told. Too many parents are trying to be their kid(s) friends first rather than be parents first, friends secondly. Being friends with your kids is fine, but you also have to be authoritative in order for them to grow up not being spoiled brats.