When do gender roles begin to define us?
@collegeoptimist (86)
United States
November 26, 2007 10:23am CST
I was thinking back on early grade school, when boys had "cooties" and the boys tried to chase away the girls on the playground. I can remember as far back as kindergarten knowing to make friends with the girls and look at the boys from afar. I was wondering, when do we become aware of our gender roles, and when do they begin to define us? Is it different for other people? Does it depend on your upbringing?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
26 Nov 07
I think it's whenever people start talking to us about them. Even before elementary school, since I had an older brother, I knew I wasn't supposed to play with his toys because they were "boy toys". Of course, me being me, I played with them anyway.
It was the same in elementary school for me actually, I knew I wasn't supposed to be like boys, but I was friends with both boys and girls anyways. I knew about gender roles then but was already rejecting them. *shrugs*
It makes me wonder really how much of that is hard-wired and not upbringing. Because I automatically rejected gender roles for as long as I can remember, even though they were all around me. Though I've never known anyone who embraced gender roles without being taught somehow, so it's hard to say what the difference is.
@collegeoptimist (86)
• United States
26 Nov 07
I think a lot of people will agree that the acceptance of gender roles is taught to us. Most of what we learn about how we should act according to our gender definitions I think is ingrained in us by our parents. I think that a person who was taught to reject gender roles might pick them up from their surrounding anyway - such as the children at school that have learned from their parents.
I think it's wonderful that you learned to reject gender expectations at and early age. Too much of our society is defined by "girls should do this" and "boys should do that."
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
27 Nov 07
I guess with me the issue is that I didn't have anyone teaching me as a kid. I pretty much ran wild. I didn't always live with the same relatives, so I had a lot of different influences, and I don't remember most of them being very nurturing. So I didn't really have a lot of structure, and pretty much seemed to shape myself.
@bunnyhoover (406)
• United States
17 Mar 09
It has been proven in several experiments that it starts shortly after birth. The howl blue room boy and pink room girl thing starts the programming right away. This effect is called "gender lensing". I think it's evil. You should read any book you can find about gender lensing. Try to find some of the Kinsey Institute reports, as they are very informative. I was involved for a short time with a woman whose main college study was based around gender lensing. It greatly effected the way that I tried to raise my son. Unfortunately his mother had different ideas. Still, as he gets older I will keep trying to teach him that gender lensing might not be right.
