Being happy

Well the first respondent seems to have given you some good advice about applying for benefits etc. You don't say how old your daughter is but I'm guessing late teens/early twenties perhaps? Unfortunately that can be a pretty selfish age. I can imagine how hurt you are by her attitude but there's really not much you can do about it. I brought my daughter up alone and money was almost always tight but we always had a good time at Christmas, even if I couldn't afford to buy much as far as food and presents were concerned. I know it's hard but try to make the very best of what you do have.

Can you get unemployment benefits? You were working, I would apply for that. Can you get some state assitance for a few months til you find a job? Having a child you could be eligible for cash assistance and food allowances, maybe help you pay some bills at least. Check with a Salvation Army or something like that where you live. Ive been there, and its just as painful and depressing to have to go and ask any of these programs for anything. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I hope things get better for you. Maybe your daughter will come around once she realises how much you need her help. Dont hound her about it though, and if she never does its something you have to accept. What can you do about it? Try and look on the bright side of things if you can. That might not be what you wanted to hear, but thats what you have to do. Sorry. Bay Lay Gray xx

ls sad ,honestly . But your plight, as regards to your daughter, is not exclusive to you - my mum's first son (we're 3 siblings , am the second) is like that ; blunt , inadvertent,infact - strange traits that really makes one to marvel. But for a female , as your daughter , is even worse ,cause such traits mainly is found in the male folks.l really pray she turns a new live . You should also go closer to God almighty , there's nothing he cannot do ; one with him is a majority . Try him ,and you will be glad you did . He has the capability to turn around your whole life and that of your family around for the better , that you'll be amazed . All you got to do is believe in him , and identify with a living church to will draw you closer to the everlasting father; creator of heaven and earth . You should also try and join this forums and see what you can lay your hands on : workplacelikehome.com,craigslist.org,wahm.com,ratracerebellion.com. -- Goodluck to you .

First of all it is Christmas. When you say xmas you are crossing the Christ out of Christmas.

Hi Sunshine. I can feel your pain. You don't need gifts to be able to celebrate x-mas. The spirit will always be there. I am sure your kids will understand why you don't have fancy food on the table or gifts, are they old enough to understand that you don't have the money to buy gifts? As for your daughter, we can never expect our children to pay us back for what we did for them. They don't owe us anything it was our responsibility to provide them with what they needed.

How old are your kids?

when i was growing up with my mom and two other brothers, we had a very tight financial kind of life. but we were happy even if there were times when we just ate rice and salt or soysauce with it. we don't worry so much about holidays. it will come and go. we treat them as just like any ordinary day. or maybe, we treat every ordinary day as a holiday. for us, for as long as we're happy together, holidays do not matter. but ofcourse, i am not telling you to be like us. you are different and we are different. it's just sad to know that your daughter won't even give you a hand about this matter. i hope you will have a time to talk to her heart to heart. not to beg for money but atleast let her feel that at some point, you need her, too. anne

To say that I am sorry would be putting it lightly. I am very very bitter in the mouth. I know how it feels being without job for six months (in my case). I know how it feels when you don’t have cash and the festive season is round the corner. I know how it feels when you want to enjoy in your own little way and you cant and others around you are enjoying. I know how it feels when you cant afford one good treat in the festive season. And I know how it feels when you have to swallow pride and seek help from your near & dear ones and they refuse. I know all these from first hand experience. So in will not give you false assurances that gifts don’t matter, treats don’t matter, you should enjoy the spirit blah blah blah. I can only hope that you will be out of this mess soon and can enjoy with your son Christmas and New Year.

YOur true Christmas spirit has nothing to do with what you can buy...it's in your heart...and if you call around you will find agencies that are in the business of helping those in you exact situation...they will bring you the fixings for a wonderful meal and they will hook you up with some gifts for your son...keep the true spirit in your heart and don't be afraid to ask for help. Some of the agencies are Salvation Army, Union Gospel Mission, most churches, the goodwill, second harvest, your local fire and police departments...any of these can get you listed for the help you need...then someday when you are in a better place you can help someone else...but for now don't put your pride before your good sense...ask for help and have a wonderful holiday... The love of your family is the best gift anyone can receive...and as for your daughter...don't worry about why or what she isn't willing to do for others...just know your heart and pay it forward when you can..or pay it back when you can...actions are so much more powerful than physical gifts for adults...children are well taken care of if a parent signs up early...do it soon and have a wonderful, loving holiday.

I will pray that may you find a good source of income and have delicious food not just this Christmas but all the time. And may your daughter be enlightened enough to care about her family's needs.

Please be happy, the hope is the sunshine allover the world, don't give up.

I am so sorry to hear about your sitution right now. You should really have a talk wiht you daughter about her attitude and how she is really acting like a big brat!You should go into social services for a little help and what about your unemployment payments?? Don't they do that at your old job?? Don't worry, everything will be alright.Trust me I've been there when nobody wanted to help me and my family either and I seem to get out of it okay. Be stronge and fight for what you love. And I am pretty sure you're son understands what is going on and he's probably praying for the both of you to make it through. If your daughter don't help now, remember to remind her the next time you are back on your feet again that two can play that game. Hey sometimes you have to play cold heart even if you love them to make them reliaze how much family means to each other.

Hi, I am a mother of 3, nurturing them alone but we/I am happy even in times ofmost difficult situations. I saw that you have a problem with you daughter. You don't have money but she has especially you are problematic og the coming Christmas. Try to sit down between the two of you if she listens and respects you, she will... Discuss this things especially money and spending and sharing it with you as the head of the family. Be patient with your children and respect them too...things will come out naturally..of receiving love and more than that from your children. Make things happen, be happy with what you have and don live beyond your means. I hope your Christmas will be full of joy. God Bless!

it's simple, very simple. since your daughter does not want to help, then you have an advantage with that. But before i tell you what the advantage is, i want you to know that x-mas is not the only time for gifts, or any other goodies. t's a time to reflect on what happen on calvary some 2000yrs ago for your sake. Now thank Jesus for the bigger help He has given to you and your entire family including that your daughter who has refused to help you. while doing this, your depression will dwindle. Finally, play the Jesus by negleting all the good things you know you need for xmas and begin to think of the things your daughter will need for xmas and tell God to provide it for her through you. Or you might even know what she treasure most and look for ways to get it for her. i promise you that the moment to begin to look for a way to buy that thing you know your daughter treasure most, you'll get it easily. if you can achieve this, your xmas would probal\bly be one of the best you've ever had. Believe me!

The holidays can be stressful even for those with money. But let me say that I see where you are coming from. I had a Xmas not to long ago where the only gifts under the tree came from the dollar store. I cried day and night, wondering if things would get better. Times are hard for so many people that are finding themselves without jobs. I have been looking for 2 years and thank goodness I do odd jobs etc, and manage to get by. My secret to being in the holiday spirit is actually rather simple. My children! their smiles and knowing that they love me regardless of how much money I have in my pockets, and regardless of how many gifts are under the tree. Your daughter may be having here own issues, and that is why she is having a hard time wanting to help. Just try talking to her; not about your need for help or how much you know she has spent. Just talk, find out how she is doing. What is going on in her life and if she is okay. Sometimes we lash out because we are hurting over our own issues, and don't realize how we are affecting others. And though it may be hard for you to do it, let her know that you love her regardless of her choice to help you or not. And if she still doesn't help it is okay, a way will be made for you. There is always a light atthe end of the tunnel, even though it often seems so far away. Some other options that you may want to consider are: food stamps, often our pride will not allow us to take advatage of such services; however you have worked and contributed money to the same funds that are allocated for such programs. At least that will insure that you are able to put food on the table for your son until you can find another way. there are also ohther cash allocations you can look into. The internet is your best source "seek and ye shall find". Stay positive regardless and realize that you have made it this far you will continue to make it! Good luck, and happy holidays from my family to yours!!!