I do a sticker chart with my son, is that weird?
By snoopy04
@snoopy04 (718)
United States
November 26, 2007 2:59pm CST
My three year old son Logan is a special needs child so I have started doing a sticker chart with him to help with his potty training and my friend thinks its so stupid and girly, but I disagree. Logan is alot slower than his siblings and he goes to early development classes like Zac goes to pre-k every morning. So Logans teachers have been working with him and he is almost potty trained. At home Logan and I made a sticker chart out of poster board and everytime he goes to potty we put a sticker on it. Once it gets full we will hang it on his wall so he can look at all his cool stickers. Well my firend came over and made a big deal about to me and said I shouldnt reward him for going to the potty. She also said stickers were for girls and that I was making Logan a sissy boy. She has kids so I couldnt believe she said that. All the stickers on his chart are boy stickers and he gets so excited to put a new sticker on the board after he pottys. I am just trying to renforce what his teachers are doing at school but at the same time make it fun. I dont think I am turning my son into a sissy boy at all. He loves his cars and his action figures and wrestling with Zac.
But what do you think, am I turning my son into a sissy boy and should I stop rewarding him for a job well done as far as potty training goes. Once he is completely potty trained then I no longer will need to do the sticker chart as a reward but I still will let Logan collect stickers if he wants to. I dont think I am harming my sons masculinity, what do you think?
7 people like this
15 responses
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
26 Nov 07
I think that when you are working with a special needs child, you do what works. I do not believe that you are turning your son into a sissy. People do not understand that with special needs children, you have to find ways to get them to learn and do things. I think she was wrong to say that to you and should be supporting you at how well you are doing with him. I have a 13 year old, with CP and always get comments about the way we do things. Some of them cut through you like a knife. I always am longing to hear someone say how good I have done with him, not how what we have done was wrong, or we should be doing things differently. No one knows, until they are in your shoes, they should not judge. Keep it up!!! It is working!! That is great. I hope it goes well.
2 people like this
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
26 Nov 07
I totally agree with you about special need children. No one can truely understand what works for that child if they dont have a child of their own. Logan is the sweetest little boy around but I have try different things with him that I wouldnt try with Zachary. I just wish people would understand that before they make such hasty judgements.
1 person likes this
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
26 Nov 07
I think you should tell your friend to mind her own business. Who is she to tell you how to raise your son? If it works and it makes him feel good then do it. There is nothing 'girlie' about stickers or rewards. I have a real problem with people pushing gender stereotypes on children. What is wrong with a 3 year old boy having a sticker? I used to teach preschool, and the boys loved getting stickers as much as the girls, and sometimes more. They don't have to be 'boy' stickers either. Whatever he likes is what you should give him. If your friend thinks there's something wrong with that, then she is the one who has a problem.
2 people like this
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
26 Nov 07
I dont think so either. The look on his face when he gets to put a sticker on his chart is priceless. He feels so proud and gets so excited when he pottys and gets to pick out a sticker. His favorites are Spiderman and Cars.
My friend doesnt have any boys so in her eyes stickers are for girls. But it just makes me so mad because she thinks I am turning my son into a girly girl.
But he loves his chart because we did it together and I jsut let my friends words slide right off of me. But thanks for your comment it was great!
2 people like this
@mac1946 (1602)
• Calgary, Alberta
27 Nov 07
As a co-leader on a potty training board,I recommend sticker charts and also m&m's as a reward for going potty both for boys and girls,there are many other things as well that work for both.your friend is (sorry) nut's.
you just keep up the good work.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
26 Nov 07
Well then your friend probably doesn't have a son in the public schools? Because I know for a fact because my husband works in the school system and I have 4 children that teachers use a sticker chart for everything from behavior to what they have accomplished.
And usually Sunday schools also use stickers to show attendance.
Plus, if stickers were for just girls, why would wal-mart pass them out? And our local grocery store also has stickers they pass out to both boys and girls. Now if the stickers had flowers on them, then I would question it, but they have many stickers for boys and some for both boys and girls..
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
27 Nov 07
i feel what you are doing is a wonderful idea and your friends have no idea what they are taking about.this is great what you are doing and i give you so much credit for doing this.this is a great way to reinforce the situation with the potty training and it gives your son a great feeling when he gets rewarded with those stickers.keep up the great work and don't let anyone get involved in your training,you are doing wonderful and i love the idea!!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
26 Nov 07
Well, I can't really add more than what has already been said here. I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with stickers for boys. I don't know what your friend is thinking. Just remember.. in parenting we need to do what we feel is right for our individual children. If Logan responds to the stickers for motivation go for it!
1 person likes this
@sherrir101 (3670)
• Malinta, Ohio
27 Nov 07
Stickers are for children. Not just girls. With a special needs child, you just need extra help and this is perfectly acceptable. I am going to suggest this to my daughter. She is just starting to potty train my grandson and this sounds like the perfect incentive for him. Thank you so much!
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
27 Nov 07
You are so welcome. Logan has responded to potty training by using the stickers. We go sticker shopping and I let him pick out the stickers and then I take them home and cut around them and put them in his sticker bucket(which we decorated as well). And everytime he pottys he pulls a sticker out of the bucket and puts it on his chart. He will constantly go to the potty because he wants a sticker on his chart. He gets upset when he cant go potty. I have found this is the only thing that Logan finds fun and will make him go to the potty all by himself. My friends have tried it and they have had great results as well. I hope your daughter also can get good results. Since my son is a special needs child our doctor says we need to monitor is sugar intake so thats one reason we dont use candy as a incentive.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
27 Nov 07
Absolutely not! I do think it is a good way to help him.
Who says stickers are girly anyway?
Especially if we are talking about kids - and please! 3 yr old is so young! - stickers are definitely ok.
In fact, at least over here, 3 yr old boys can follow their mums into the ladies, no questions asked.
@yojspew (171)
• Philippines
27 Nov 07
I don't think that by doing such activities with your son will make him a sissy boy someday..I have nephews whom also played with stickers and collect them but they did not grew up to be gays.
Maybe your friend was just concerned so it's better if you'll assure her that it's ok.
@packgirl4 (402)
• United States
18 Dec 07
That's ridiculous. I have a special needs child as well and we have used sticker charts with him for EVERYTHING since he was old enough to understand what it was. And she said you shouldn't reward him for going potty???? How did she potty train her son? Martial Law?? You are doing the right thing and you need to just ignore your friend.
@jcj_111776 (3216)
• Philippines
23 Dec 07
hello snoopy!To tell you honestly, I have a 4 year old son who loves to watch Dora the Explorer. But that doesn't make him a sissy boy. I bow to you for being that supportive of Logan with his potty training. And from most articles I've read regarding potty training, a sticker chart is highly recommended. Go on with what you're doing for Logan and don't mind what your friend have told you. You're the mother so you know what's good and what's best for Logan. Frankly, I think your friend has some issues for being that so irresponsible with her words to you.
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
27 Nov 07
Your friends need to mind there own business. Its whatever works to get him to use the potty, I did just about the same thing when my son was potty training and he not special needs. I hung a chart and everytime he used the potty correctly we put a sticker on the chart. I than told him that when he filled the whole chart that we would go buy a present. Now this gave my son some incentive to use the potty. Some said it sounded more like a bribe. But let me tell you my son was the first one potty trained and toilet trained out of all my friends kids. So apparently the technique worked. And your son is only 3 years old what does masculine and feminine have to do with it. They use stickers for progress in my son's first grade class, is that hurting his masculinity too? I wouldn't worry about what your friends are saying, whatever works for you with your son is what counts.
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
27 Nov 07
Do whatever it takes. Early learning is so important. Good Mommy. Keep up the excellent work. Have you done numbers and letters or colors with the chart? Im an outdoors wood cutting farmer and tough but when I was 3 I played with paper dolls. Tell that to your so called friend.
@alamode (3071)
• United States
27 Nov 07
You should always do what you feel is right for your child... you know him best. I had well-meaning friends and family giving my advice when mine were small, but I chose to go with my instincts. My kids turned out great... I wish theirs had done as well.
