product of divorce

Well... on the positive side... you are lucky to have two parents who loves you. Because if they fight over you... they must love you. I did experience some of this in a negative way... where I was used by my grand-mother to try to make me dislike my mother. But it did not work for her. I actually paid her back when I was 14 by keeping one of my mother secrets from her. She discovered that secret when I was 20... and she was shattered that I had not told her. If I was you... I would just let your parents continue with their childish games. They will never change. And it seem to me that you are probably benefitting from it. Just be careful not to give them details of each other lives. If your father ask questions about your mother... tell him that you don't know... and vice versa for your mother. Don't let them use you in their tug of war.

Hello only1shi, Remember past is past. Forget about what happened to you. You din't have other way,you have been at the listening side. Now it is your turn.You are married,have husband and a child. You need not live at listening to your parents. You have an independent family and your child should not undergo the miseries like you. You strictly warn your parents not to tell your child about their stories. They will listen to you, because they know if they still do the same they may loose your love and affection.So, don't worry.

Wow... you had a pretty tug of war type of life... On the positive site... 1. You had cool things given to you by your parents... 2. You are sure of your parent's unconditional love and affection... 3. You never lost either one of them through the divorce... 4. Your daughter will alway get cool gifts... On the negative side... 1. The bickering and back stabbing between the two parents... 2. You saw the bad side of your parent... There are more negatives and positives but i think we should always concentrate on the positive side and never dwell on the negative ones...

Having been a divorced parent, I can honestly say, my ex and I never played those games. And we never spoke ill of the other one, the way I looked at it, she would get older and figure out the good and bad about both of us. I divorced the first time when my daughter was 2, and although it was hard for her dad to take her for a weekend at that age, he would at least pick her up for the day and take her to do fun stuff. I remarried, had another daughter, and later divorced her father, it was harder because I moved 2 hours away, although we saw each other a lot since it was only 2 hours. Then I moved 1600 miles away, and even though she was 17 it wasn't easy, but her father was there for her as well as my mom and dad. And we talk on the phone at least a couple of times a week. I think it's wrong when parents play those types of games with their children and for them to carry through to the granddaughter, is just absurd. I hope that you talk to them and tell them that they do not have to play these games to have the love of your daughter.

My parents never really got along when I was growing up, and as awful as it is when parents fight and no child should have to go through it, sometimes its almost better. My parents would never argue, they just didn't talk to or acknowledge one another. It creates a really really awkward situation, I used to get anxiety from them just being in the same room. So even though I agree you should never have had to go through what you did at least your parents were able to communicate, no matter how messed up it was. Sometimes its better when the feelings are actually out as opposed to everything being build up and having silence and tension around you all the time. I hope your parents realize that they need to stop and how much its affected you.