The Things That I should have done a long time ago

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I was so stupid believing in a man that doesnt love me anymore. We always had a fight and the worst case is we hit each other. I was so blinded by love and the truth is that im the only one who is trying to save our relationship. My mom even give me some advices that even if that someone or my friends would leave me she will still be there to support me. I know that our love is forbidden in society because its a male to male love affair but what can i do at the start we are so in love with each other and then finally when he had found someone secretly.I was saddened by the fact that to much effort and time has been wasted on my part. Because i really wanted to save our relationship i beg him to stay but it doesnt work. i even inflict pain on myself just for him to stay but all these actions failed. i should have dump him from the start when i suspected that he had another man he is in love with. This is suppose to be the thing that i should have done with my life correcting my faults and mistakes but because i was blinded by this so called "love", im immobilized by it and cant do nothing. Poor me