Relationships

United States
November 29, 2007 2:08pm CST
I have a 2 years relationship with my boyfriend, he lives with me, he's 37, married (needs money to divorce), 3 kids, i know he loves me to death (he shows it, and everybody around me notices it) but it's so hard to love somebody with this kind of past, I'm 20 and we have a baby already, but I'm always stressing because my baby and I have share him with his other kids, and I get so jealous because hi gets to see his ex all the time, What shoul I do?
1 response
@Ruibinha (157)
• Portugal
30 Nov 07
First - kids. of course you and your baby will need to share your boyfriend/dad with the other 3 kids. He is their father too, you can't forbid them neither your boyfriend to see each other. Imagine what would they feel knowing that their father don't want to see them anymore because his girlfriend doesn't want... I am sorry, but that's childish ("... because my baby and I have to share him with his other kids..." - that's not fair, girlfriend and child are two things completely different). He is with you, so he loves you. For his ex-wife, what can i say? I can imagine it isn't easy to deal with but she is the mother of the kids, he is the father (you need to accept it). And, to be honest, that is good, because it shows that both of them are worried about their kids, and they don't want them to suffer because of the divorce. You said also : "... but it's so hard to love somebody with this kind of past..." .... then i ask you why are you with him? why did you got a baby of him? I am sorry if i am being rude (i don't want that), but if you could switch position with his kids, would you like your father wouldn't see you? Probably you would think your parent wouldn't love you anymore. Love is infinite. He has love to give you, to give your baby, to give his kids. How lucky you think you are by having a men that has all that love to give and is concerned about his kids (kids the 3 and baby you both have). If it was another, we wouldn't care. Do you want to be responsible for any kind of distance that him and his kids could have? I don't think so. I am 20 years also. Think a bit about his kids, don't think he is only for you. I would prefer my children than a boyfriend, if he would make me making a choice. Really, if you see the ex a lot (and i am not referring when she stops by letting kids staying there and then picking them up). I'm talking about if she goes to your house with no good excuse, then have a friendly, calm and intelligent conversation with your boyfriend. Choose wisely the words you will say, it can affect him. I wish you good luck, and be a part of the 3 kids life too. So, in that case, You all are together, and all finish this "race" winning.
• United States
30 Nov 07
you know? this is the kind of answer I was looking for, is really mature, thank you so, I'm not denying that is gonna be hard be at least I knw how to think and how to see things now.. Thanks u for taking the time!
@Ruibinha (157)
• Portugal
30 Nov 07
I'm glad i could help :) Take care and good luck to all of you.