I wrote a poem...what do u think?
By canadabis1
@canadabis1 (1952)
Canada
October 28, 2006 11:03pm CST
I'm afraid to dream
It is said they foretell the future
My fear in those words, tear into my heart,
Every time I close my eyes, for my last dream was of you.
As beautiful as ever,
On a sandy beach under the sun, in the arms of another man.
Smiling and staring deep in his eyes
I wanted to scream and take her back, but my body could not move.
I could not speak,
I had lost her.
I woke in a trance, and sat up in the night.
A tear rolling down my cheek and an empty feeling within.
I turned to see her laying, eyes closed.
Like the angel she is.
She was still here.
I laid back down and was awake all night.
Not closing my eyes.
Not sleeping a wink.
Afraid to dream of losing you again.
3 people like this
17 responses
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
12 Nov 06
thnx...I had brainfart one day and decided i could write poetry...lol...I'll stick to my trade.
2 people like this
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
13 Nov 06
I'm a Tilesetter...btu I just did this on a whim...it happenend...so i wrote about it.
1 person likes this
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
14 Nov 06
simply beautiful. you should give it to your woman subject, she'll surely love it! :)
2 people like this
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
14 Nov 06
lol...shed probably smack me for calling her that.....lol...my woman subject....I already did though...thnx..:}
1 person likes this
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
14 Dec 06
I prefer a more loving way..."Whats her name"...lol
1 person likes this
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
13 Dec 06
at least it's not woman OBJECT, lol!
1 person likes this
@lilpoopiemj (317)
• United States
9 Nov 06
Beautiful!!very well done, you should enter that in a poem thing or even post it on the poems site.!!
It was very heart felt,with loving emotions!
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
9 Nov 06
Thank you for your kind words...you just brought a smile to my face...:}
2 people like this
@fyrescryer (912)
• United States
14 Nov 06
Sounds like someone who has found something they love very very much, but has been so hurt in the past that they are afraid it is not real. Hmmmmmm. Very beautiful, very tortured. a + for you!!!
2 people like this
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
14 Nov 06
Thank you very much...I wrote it from somewhere kinda deep and a lil dark.
1 person likes this
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
14 Nov 06
no point really...I just had an urge to do it after the dream.
1 person likes this
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
14 Nov 06
not really...I've written a couple poems...but not too many....ty for your praises...:}
1 person likes this
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
13 Dec 06
ummm...ok...play with the words?...I have no idea what u mean
1 person likes this
@harish4u (1393)
• India
18 Nov 06
wowwwwww.....tats a gud one....firstly i was afraid to read that of the opinion u would have written watever u want to... but when i read it out everyone started clapping here....so tats a great thing....it was an amazing work and u rock... well done and go on writing ur poems as such...so start wiritnf on love and lovers toooo
1 person likes this
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
18 Nov 06
ummm...uhhhh...wow...thnx...:}...I did write whatever I wanted though...it just happenened to be about a dream...I dont write that often anymore...or Draw which I used to love to do...my work has taken over...thank you very much for your comment...made my day...:}
1 person likes this
@hockeygal4ever (10021)
• United States
4 Jan 07
how sweet
I'm quite impressed that you're that open with your feelings... she has you trained right baby! lol
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
6 Jan 07
lol...sure why not...could u actually imagine me hiding my feelings?...lol...I let it alllll out...good or bad...:}
@dnatureofdtrain (5273)
• Janesville, Wisconsin
1 Jan 07
Very Sweet, Poem, and if you find her again. I hope you never lose her again as well. Punctuation looked wonderful too , and I enjoyed how the verses flowed. Keep up the good writing. Take care, - DNatureofDTrain
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
thnx.....and I did find her and kept her...its been almost 15 yrs...:}
@utsadetti (4589)
• United States
1 Jan 07
wrote poem? it is a good poem buddy. you can be a poem writer. u must be very proud to write a poem.
@canadabis1 (1952)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
naaaaa....just somethin I did cause I had an urge when i had the dream.
