How can I help a friend who's family has basically "kicked him to the curb"?
By ctrymuziklvr
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
United States
November 30, 2007 3:06pm CST
This guy obviously has some sort of of mental problem and I think he was born this way although I'm not certain. He's 51 years old and lived with his mother until she passed away about 6 years ago. He has an older married sister who is a coke head and a younger brother who has basically taken over all of my friends finances. The brother is and always has been the money hungry kind of person...he can't get enough and will do anything to get it.
My friend was made to live in a basement apartment in the family house when the mother died and the brother and his family who lived upstairs until that time moved into the mothers apartment. Now they are telling my friend that he has to move out...completely! They gave him this news the day before Thanksgiving!!! There is a lot of money involved that was left to my friend but the brother has control of because of my friends "slowness".
There is so much more to this story but it would take forever to get into but how can I help this man? We have been friends for almost ten years and at this point I am the only friend he has who does not take advantage of him (another very long story).
7 people like this
15 responses
@hhhxxccc (222)
• United States
30 Nov 07
That really is a sad predicaments your friend has himself in there. I would recommenced him getting a lawyer (perhaps one that you don't pay until you have won or something of the sort). Meanwhile, try to give the guy a helping hand as much as you can possibly do and he will allow. If he wants to talk it out with you, listen, you can't believe how much it can help in situations like these.
3 people like this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I'm trying to be here for him as much as I can. My problem is that there is sooooo much going on in my family right now that I'm very preoccupied with that.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
30 Nov 07
I would try not to get too involved with this situation unless you want to be his care giver and financier. If he is a state where he can afford legal counsel, I would help him find a reasonable yet effective attorney to help him through this, you could be present and make sure he's not getting taken for a ride. There are plans in which an attorney can assist in setting up funds availability for him, set him up on a monthly income and have you ever considered him living in an assisted living facility? What his family is doing is so wrong it's hard to even speak of it without me getting fired up. I hope you can help your friend!
2 people like this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I feel the same way. The reason I started this discussion was to help get it off my mind because I've been seething with hate for his brother and what he is doing.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
2 Dec 07
You might take your friend to social services to start with to make sure that he isn't on the street. Take it from there. They should be able to give you any advice to help your friend. There are in some states place that a person with your friend's problems can live. Try the mental health services too.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
30 Nov 07
I can only suggest getting an Attorney for him maybe.
This isn't right to do to a family member.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I think a lawyer is the only way to go and I advised him to go to their family attorney. I don't know if he has or not I'm waiting to hear.
1 person likes this
@fpd1955 (2074)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Did your friend sign something that gives his so-called brother control of his money? There has to be some sort of attorney that could help him out. Look up NAMI...National Association of Mental Illness. Maybe they have some service that can help him. If he didn't sign anything, such as power of attorney, then his brother is stealing his livelihood from him. This in itself is a despicable act for one brother to do to another, especially a brother with mental illness. If he did sign something, it should state that that brother has to take care of your friend. Unfortunately, even if a lawsuit was filed against this nasty sibling, it won't solve your friend's needs of the present. Maybe he should check out an assisted living place and put down the brother as dependent payee for the home. I am so sorry I don't know what else to say. It truly saddens me that this man is doing such a horrible thing to his own blood!!
God be with your friend.
PEACE
2 people like this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I've known this family for a few years and I'm sad to say I had a feeling something like this was going to happen. The mother left everything in the hands of the brother who is now turning this poor guy out in the street. It's killing me just to think about it.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
1 Dec 07
That is such a sad story, ctry. In some cases, after the age of 50, people are considered seniors. If this is the case where you live it might be possible to get assistance for him through Senior Services. There are also advocates for people who suffer from some type of mental deficiency. Shame on this guy's brother for treating him in such a shabby way. I hope you can get some help for him.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Help him contact legal aid. Get him a court appointed (impartial) guardian, to manage his finances. I do not know where you live, but this situation should be brought to the attention of adult protective services. He is definitely being exploited. Is he slow? Or is he mentally ill, or have a communication disorder (like Asbergers)? It is really good of you to get involved. I hope this is of some help.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I think I would still contact whatever agency can assist with adult protective services in your state. They can give him best advice, and help him look into getting disability, or if he has disability, can help him get a financial guardian that will look after his interests. You are correct, there are medications that can be prescribed that can result in similar symptoms.
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I wish I knew exactly what is wrong with him. He isn't really disabled in the physical sense of the word or mentally ill. He is just very slow thinking, talking and moving. I believe it has to do with medications he took for a long time. I'm going to help him I know that much.
1 person likes this
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
1 Dec 07
The best thing you can do for him is to get him to see a solicitor... so that he can recover his money and see if his brother has the right to kick him out.
It is not something you can solve by yourself. The law is there to protect you... and you need to learn on how to use it.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
3 Dec 07
It sounds like he needs a good lawyer.If he is "slow" he needs legal protection from the brother. And a lawyer can look and see if there is anything written that insures the money to your friend.Look and see if there are any new, young, hungry lawyers that can take the case.It sounds like he is being cheated and he needs protection.
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
6 Dec 07
The problem is that although he is slow it seems like nobody notices it? I can't explain it but I've worked with developmentally disabled people and I can see he is one why doesn't the rest of the world see it? He has doctors in fact we used to have one doctor in common who is awesome. I just don't get it!
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
1 Dec 07
Your friend may have a developmental disability. Does he collect SS etc, does he work. Maybe he can get into a group home, and someone could help him with the finances etc. Someone who will not take advantage of him.
It is hard to say what to do without knowing the specifics.
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
1 Dec 07
Such a sad situation for your friend but I must say not that uncommon. My suggestion would be to help him find a lawyer or government agency that will help him. If the brother is not going to help him then the brother should not have control of all the money. They may appoint someone outside the family to control your friend's money who will also make sure he's taken care of and not taken advantage of.
@clocks123 (1225)
• United States
1 Dec 07
i would check into a social services in your area it may be called human services. this is terrible for y our friend let us know what becomes of him and you are great to care about him
2 people like this
@aidenofthetower (1814)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I would say that you and this friend need to find a lawyer who will consult with you. There is no way that that is right, and the man needs access to his money to make other arrangements for his housing. If you can talk to a lawyer you can find out how to gain access to the money and find a different beneficiary who will help your friend with the money. Even if it is a lawyer who charges a fee, that would be better then what he's got now.
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I believe they do have a family lawyer but the way the brother has been lieing to everyone who knows what he's already said to him. It's a very sad situation.
@KieraMcLean (75)
• Birmingham, England
22 Jul 14
I think you should take advice of solicitor in this case, they will guide you in a right way.
