my weight loss problem..
By asawako48162
@asawako48162 (3321)
United States
December 1, 2007 6:14pm CST
before i got married when i stocked my pantry and fridge i just would not buy fattening foods..now my wife of 20 years plus always buys fattening foods and soda pop and chips and nuts and salsa..and she says these are for people who may stop over to visit..but we very seldom have company...i get annoyed and tell her why do you have to put up temptations for me in our house? as she is overweight too...but not as much as I am...but she is a great cook...and goes overboard during the holidays...cheese cakes,, double chocolae cakes..sweet potato pie..etc etc ice cream...we don't smoke at all and very little drinking..but she is killing me with these foods....i guess i will just have to deal with this...
7 people like this
15 responses
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
2 Dec 07
1) You do not have to eat it just because it is in the house.
2) Share with neighbors and/or, if you work, coworkers.
3) Donate the food to shut-ins, food banks, senior centers, etc.
4) Get HER out of the house! It sounds like she is not busy enough and she is lonely. She wants company and to be busy and useful; and, she is trying to meet those needs by having things for people who may stop over to visit in the hopes that someone WILL. Get her to join some groups; take classes; or volunteer at a soup kitchen, etc. (they would love to have her cook for them and she would be too busy to cook for you).
I hope this helps or gives you some new ideas on how to deal with this problem.
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
2 Dec 07
thanks for the advice..i retired and became a nurse aide..i am certifiied but you the average nurse now is oveer 50 years old and yes.. a lot of them are overweight too..especially our pscychologolcal nurse...Ruth..she is obese like me..it gets worse and worse and the problem is epidemic in even Africa where they have over 300 million obese people in one area...so you are right..My is going back to the Philippines for six months..threre she will lose the weight as the food is more natural..fish, rice, mango, etc et..no fast food on her island of Negros Occ and lots of walking..i will see a doctor about weight management..maybe a lap band? but I know i will haunt the Ymca and maybe rejoing a group like weight watchers..i have done it before...but now that we are retired I may take my new nurses aide certificate and work as home care...one on one..
We all have insights into our problem but I like your ideas as they spur me on to things that I should be doing myself...even the so called experts have no real solid plan that works for everyone...different strokes for different folks..but in the end..its DIET AND EXERCISE. THANKS AGAIN.
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
21 Feb 08
Mall of Asia..very nice place in the Philippines
Here is our new friend..she is a Filipina who lives
by our house in the US..she too is a pinoy. Filipina
with an American husband but she is sweet like you
her name Leah
@irene_27 (542)
• Philippines
2 Dec 07
Personally i don't think you have to blame your wife for having stocked temptation foods in your house. I mean if you have the discipline to control your appetite despite being around those yummy but fattening foods then no big deal about it. I just can't get past the idea that you're accusing your wife of "killing me with these foods" when i suppose she doesn't spoon feed you to eat all those. In case you get fat it's all because of your own doing. If you can't resist the temptation and can't either stop her from cooking then do something like share those food with the neighbors or to the garbage man. This way you'll be kind not only to others but to your self as well for having control over your eating habit.
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
2 Dec 07
YES, YOU ARE RIGHT! I stay away from most fast food places and go to subways..and i try to diet and exercise more with more planning...but i am going to make a bigger effort in the future to avoid being so lazy about doing something that i should be doing for myself...thanks for the good advice...
1 person likes this
@youdontsay (3497)
• United States
19 Feb 08
Oh, come on. Your wife isn't pushing that food down your throat. Perhaps you need to have a serious discussion with her about your desire to eat healtier and ask her to help you by doing less fattening foods, substituting diet soda and baking less often. And when the stuff is in the house, put it inside a cabinet so it isn't so visible. Then start writing down everything you eat and getting more exercise. You'll start losing weight when you eat less and exercise more. And she can't do it for you. I've been struggling with weight control my whole life, and it has never been anyone but me putting food in my mouth.
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
19 Feb 08
i do all the shopping now that my wife has been sick for the past two months and can't get out of the house. All i do is follow the list that she gives me and today she told me she like this systme as she never buys all the things she used to buy..once I brought home some tortilla chips as she had enough salsa to stock a convenience store and she threw the two bags into the garbage pail and scramed at me "i thought you were on a diet?" well, i got them out later..as i told her salsa was not that bad..and she ended up getting some Doritos..as this is her favoriate..my dad used to put stuff back in the shopping cart when he went shopping with my mother and she would get home and wondered why she did not have the stuff..then she caught him one day...i would never do this to my wife as she can eat what she wants..but i told her to stop stocking the house like a store but she her thinking is if it is on sale..buy it..and send it to her family in the Philippines...in big boxes..cost 100 bucks a big box..so this is where we have came to have a "small convenient store in the basement"..sometimes the food has to be thrown out as it spoils..before i rtired we used to have a lot of garbage on garage day..i never thought about this...as we have been married 22 years..but when she went to the philippines for two months..i just used the food in the basement and pantry..she was not happy camper..she likes a huge warehouse of food..i think as she grew up deprived of foods? well, she always liked a lot of food to satisfy her desire...and yes..when she went home on December 3rd..eveyone always comment on how fat she is but she is not..not really but to her friends and relatives she is enormous..but so am I compared to 1985..but I am going to the YMCA every day almost...and so was she until she got so sick in the lungs..
well, i digress..we both need to diet and exercise more..and i lost 25 pounds and have about 40 more pounds to lose before i get back to when we got married in 1985..i always take the path of least resistance and this time i just go to the Doctor and do what he tells me..as He is from the Philippines too and knows both of us..and my wife chloestral is out of control and mine is normal..but that is diet too..and heriitage? well.thanks for the post..you hit the nail on the head.."if you want to lose weight..put fork down!"...a old Filipino proverb..
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
17 Feb 08
my husband says that to me whenever I told him he needs to exercise. since we got married our grocery is mostly vegetables because I like vegetables. so he will eat what he used to eat and then eat what I cook which is mostly vegetable dish. he said this is why he gains weight.
I want him to eat vegetables because it's good for him since he eats lots of meat. I think it's not the food, he needs to exercise more that's all. he already smokes lesser than usual and on his way to quitting.
if your wife stocks these, then instead of looking at them as temptation, you can consider as challenge that you have to win by not eating them. she doesn't care less about her weight and maybe she eats to reduce stress or boredom, so it will help both of you if you change the way you look at it
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
19 Feb 08
Thanks. I like your post. My wife is a great cook and she like to cook a lot of vegetables too..last night we had cabbage in the stir fry and it was very good.
but we both got gas real bad..lol..but it is still good food...I remember there was a diet "Cabbage SOUP" diet and when i told the women at work they would roll their eyes and say yeah we know about that..lol
i quit smoking 22 years ago when i got married and I too lacked the desire to exercise..gained a lot of weight and now i am retired it gets even harder and so is my wife..retired and overweight..not as bad as me..but she has issues with chloerstral being too high..
she got sick in the Philippines and has to cut her vacation sort..she was gone 45 days but was supposed to stay six months..but all the friends and relatives told my wife Lou Lou that she was way to fat! and of course i am but i was not there..but i just buy the food she puts on the list as she is still to sick to go out of the house (lungs are still congested_( so she said she is happy as she is not tempted to buy the foods that are bad for her and me...so we live a little more healthy but I go to the YMCA and do the water walking...as one hour in pool is like two hours on dry land..and also swimming and water aerobics..but they have machines like bikes and treadmill..etc etc..and whirlpool and sauna..and for just me its about 290 a year and for both of us about 400? well, we live a mile from the YMCA and we live by a big park too..lots of sidewalks and path along the river to Lake Erie,,Monroe, Mi....You can't make a peson stop smoking unless they want to..same as with the food and drinking..i also don't drink much..as my wife has no vices..lol .but food..she had a restaurant and also she worked in resaurant as a cook..fast food, chinese food..every kind of food as she always watches the cooking channel like Rachael Ray and BAM! guy..all of them..so she has lots of cook books too..
Today we ate shredded wheat and banana w/low fat milk..it helps as it is high in fiber..no sugar..
Yes, what you say makes a lot of sense..as in the Philippines there is not to many overweight prolbems..but soon? as in all the countries of the world..like Philppines, Japan, China, Germany, Uk..etc etc they are selling the American Fast Foods..KFC, Mc Donalds, etc etc..not a good diet to live on..too much soda pop..
also we just drink a lot of water,,and i like green tea..after you get used to it..I first seen this in Japan in 1985..and hated it..lol but found out it was a good health drink..it still not good taste but i drink it at least once a day..and only one/two cups of coffee..in the a.m..sorry to talk so much..have a nice day
Slim Forever?
@jcj_111776 (3216)
• Philippines
7 Feb 08
I sympathize with you. My mother who's overweight and has hypertension has a lot of difficulty trying to stay away from foods that will accelerate her weight. So to help her out, my siblings and I try not to buy foods that will really drive her nuts. Whenever she comes to visit me or my other siblings, we try to keep foods that are less fatty and less salty. And I make sure that I have lots of fruits. That way, if she feels hungry, she can munch on those rather than the chips.
We try to not say the words, "avoid those foods". Because it only frustrates her more. There were times that she was getting emotional with us because she feels as if we're her jail wardens. Sometimes we let her indulge in the "pleasure foods" but not too much. Just a little sample so as not to let her feel so deprived of the good stuffs.
But she can be a sneak sometimes. When we're not looking, her "little sample" ends up being a big meal!Then she will complain that she feels bloated.
Because of her weight, she gets tired a lot faster compared before. She's a little lazy when it comes to daily exercises so in order for her to stay a little active, she tends to my garden or my sister's garden when she comes visit us.
And to you, I just have to say goodluck. I know the temptation is too much when the "pleasure foods" are just within your reach. But you just know that they're a big no-no.
1 person likes this
@fairyanny (363)
• China
15 Feb 08
If u cann't avoid,I think you should do more sports when you have it.^^keep healthy and enjoy your life.
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
15 Feb 08
yes, swim, aerobics and walking but i am 63 and too old for organized sports like football or soccer lol..maybe wrestiling old women..lol
@fairyanny (363)
• China
20 Feb 08
maybe you can have some sports like shadowboxing or yoja,I just think they are for the olds.Wish you have a good health.Just be happy and take more entertainment.^^
1 person likes this
@fairyanny (363)
• China
22 Feb 08
Sorry to hear that,your wife got a cold,hope her have already recovered.Have a cup of green tea a day is quite a good choice to keep fit.By the way,I am Chinese,not Japanese.^^Have a great day.
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
2 Dec 07
You said it yourself, you have to deal with this. Since your wife is not force feeding you you can refuse those unhealthy foods, especially soda and chips. Buy yourself some club soda and put a slice of lemon in it. Really it is so nice, and no sugar, no calories and no aspartame. Celery sticks and carrots also make good munchies, I like cucumber sticks as well and if you want some substance buy no fat ranch dressing. It is really creamy and gives the illusion of eating something rich. You say you are retired. Have you and your wife tried mall walking in the mornings before the malls open? Do you go for walks, play sports or volunteer? If you volunteer at a food bank you can take the fattening foods along. Look at the expiry dates and give them away before they expire. Take a tiny slice of cheesecake and freeze the rest or invite neighbours over for coffee. Have yourself checked out by a doctor as well and have him or her recommend a diet for you. Maybe your wife will get inspired to cook new healthy dishes, or you could try your hand at it. You might enjoy it. Best of luck.
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
2 Dec 07
thanks for the good advice..i will do as you say..most of the things are common sense..but we all want to do the easy things first? but in the end it is diet and exercise..thanks again
@Ambur25 (1006)
• United States
2 Dec 07
Sorry, but I don't agree with anyone who commented above me. I understand that she's not forcing you to eat any of these foods that she buys, but anyone who's over-weight (and anyone who ISNT) knows that having a nice cheesecake in front of you is hard when you know you shouldn't eat it! Lol. I, myself, love my snacks, and it shows. =P
I think you should talk to your wife about your concerns. Let her know that you'd like to be healthy for her. Talk about the risks of being over-weight (heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc) and ask her to "help you" become healthy. Maybe she'll take the hint and both of you can engage in healthy eating and exercising "together!"
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
2 Dec 07
Actually, I have found that if you keep busy, you have less time to cook/bake and eat.
If I am just reading a book or watching TV, I can do that in the kitchen while I cook/bake. I also am more likely to snack (eat). If I keep busy in the garden, at work, or even typing here at mylot; I don't have the time to cook/bake as much and I can't eat and type at the same time.
The same thing is trur if you are active in different groups/organizations. The food isn't there to eat and you are too busy talking and doing other things to eat and drink a lot.
My husband is a diabetic and discussing or telling him about what he should and shouldn't eat and how much; is advice that he just ignores. But, if I keep him active and busy, he doesn't have the time to go out and get snacks that he likes but shouldn't eat. (Even if I don't buy them; he will go buy them himself.)
1 person likes this
@Jemina (5770)
•
15 Feb 08
I can relate with you a bit. I am very conscious with my figure but when there's food on the table I can't resist it. Oftentimes I'd say jokingly to my housemates, "It's your fault. This all your fault. I'm getting fat because you always cook so good." Hmmm...Actually, it's in my mind. I have to discipline myself if I really want to keep myself fit.
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
16 Feb 08
thanks, i try to have healthy food around the house..but sometimes we need a prezel or a taste of someting good to satify our urge..i don't want to feel deprived..depraved..disreguarded?
@anonymili (3138)
•
13 Feb 08
It's seriously not good to be overweight which of course you know. Having temptation there in front of you is not good either whether or not people say you can choose not to have the stuff, it's still there in your face when you open the fridge door!
My husband and I are both over 40 now. We've both been advised to lose weight by our doctors. I am diabetic and he has high cholesterol. We don't buy things like biscuits or cakes or crisps or chocolates so we don't have temptation in the way. We try to keep stocked up with fruit and low fat yoghurts if we get peckish between meals but it's quite hard even without temptation in the way so I can't imagine how much harder it is for you.
Do tell your wife that you love her a great deal and would like to live a long and healthy life with her and if you keep eating at this rate that life for both of you won't be so long or so healthy! Good luck :)
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
14 Feb 08
now my wife has me do all the shopping as i only get what is on the list and she is not tempted to buy stuff she don't need..it is getting better and healthy food that is important
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
15 Feb 08
Hello there, personally I think you really need your will power to maintain or lose weight, in fact this applies everyone as we are all human and have appetite.
For your age, it is more important to maintain the weight so that you can have a healthier and stronger body, which you can benefit a longer and love life. So firstly, you have to make up your mind to limit the food consumption. Meanwhile, do some daily exercise like walking; playing tennis etc. All these are not easy to maintain, it totally ups to you.
For your wife, I know you love the way she is. But being a husband, you should advise her not to be over weight from the health point of view. Although she likes to have some lovely snacks at home in case there is a visitor. You both should store for what it is meant to be.
@xXxMikesWifeyxXx (3072)
• United States
2 Dec 07
Tell her how much it disturbs you to have these things in the house,not only is it bad for your health. its not helping anyone loose weight either. she should respect you,and not do it so much,mabey instead find healty alternatives for the things she buys. there are some things that are not bad for you but are still really good and some can be sweet to.
mabey put a limit on her spending for things like that...
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
4 Dec 07
thank for the advice..in the end i am the one who is the one who eats the food..well i have to take the bull by the horns and do it my way..but first i will see the doctor to make sure its the safe way..thanks again...
@wangbinbin (2)
• China
2 Dec 07
yes,you must do your best to lose your weight.food is delicious,yet.but your weight will make you be unhealthy.you shall lose your weight.
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
4 Dec 07
thanks for the advice..a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips..have a nice day..
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
10 Feb 08
Please don't deal with this, I know your wife means well. My partner's dad (67 years old) just had to have heart surgery as he is overweight and had a heart attack from eating alot of food and the wrong types of food. It is pretty scary thinking how food can really be dangerous for our health particularly when people get older. So if you are really unhappy about eating all these types of food, maybe you could start going shopping with her and by healthy food and also exercise regularly. Of course these foods are ok in moderation. Take care my friend.
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
10 Feb 08
yes, went shopping today..and got the good stuff but we will go see the Philippine doctor tomorrow..Dr. Yap..he is very good as through him and the Help of God I lost 25 pounds since Dec so it can be done through exercise and proper diet..but my wife has been very sick and she is not eating very much of anything..so from one extreme to the other? well, she has been to the doctor in the Philippine and also a Thailand doctor here..got shots, meds..and now she is seeing my doctor..lol
it will take a long time to recover from this illness as her immune system is weak and all she does is sleep..have a nice day..it is very cold here in Michigan..very cold
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