Would you get back together with an ex-bf / ex-gf ?

Hello Silverlocket, Not only would I, I did! We are now very happily married. We've been back together for 10 years, and will celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary later this month. Hubby & I dated for nearly four years when we were in our 20's. I was in college when we met. He had just returned from overseas. He's just two years older than I. Yet, when he returned to The States, he was ready to settle down. I, on the other hand, was ready to start adventuring. I did not wish to settle down where we grew up. So, despite the fact that I loved him dearly, I broke it off and moved away. Nearly a decade later we got our second chance. To this day we each regularly thank the other, and our lucky stars that fortune shown down on us twice. For us, though the personalities and values were a right blend, the timing -- or our level of maturity was not. We're both quite confident that had we stayed together back then, that we would not have lasted. It took time, separation, experiencing other people, and each of us maturing before we were really able to appreciate the other as a best friend, spouse, and life partner. Does it work this way for everyone? No, I don't believe it does. However, for me the key was that we not only remained amiable through the apart years, we also both consciously or unconsciously compared other people to each other. For example: If a guy asked me out on a date, I would find that after the date, when I was alone, I would be comparing the guys traits to Hubby's. Of course, by that time, there were 2,000 miles and many lifetimes worth of experiences between Hubby & I. Neither thought that we'd ever get a second chance. But, we're sure glad we did!

for me it would depend on the ex, myself, how much both of us have changed, whether or not we can see eye to eye about WHY we split in the first place and so on....I have gotten back together with ex's in the past including my husband and sometimes its worked out for a time, other times it was a huge mistake and other times still like with my husband it was a good idea and has held water ya know....Mind you I'm in a more stable, secure and headstrong place now than I was in my teen yrs and 20s...Back then I was still carving my own way in life ya know...now that I'm approaching 40 and have been, seen and done all I have in life I read ppl very well, know what I will and won't tolerate from anyone in my life and am set in my ways..Compared to back then, I now KNOW whether or not getting back with an ex would work out or not if that makes sense rather than back when I was younger and I just HOPED things would work out....

I did get back together with an ex, and basically the same thing that happened the first time around happened again, and it hurt twice as much. It was a big mistake, unfortunately. What made me think it would work? Well, he did make it sound like he had changed a lot over the years we were out of touch. And I guess I just wanted it to work so bad that I ignored my instincts. The good news is we're friends now, which is nice, and probably all we were ever meant to be.

hi, thats a really interesting topic you are talking.In my opinion i would never get back with and ex girlfriend because if we broke up it was because something was not right and if we got back something like that would probably happen and it would be bad for both and if we just stay friends nobody gets hurt. Hope your having a good time here at mylot and that you continue to post intersting topics like this one ;)

no, I dont think that it will ever be the same as it was before you parted, I think that there will be dout in the persons mind that broke it off. If the relationship parted due to moving or distance than maybe it is possible to get back together but for any other reason, i don't think that the relationship will work as there will be trust issues.

maybe if there is a chance in a two lovers to be back together and live happily ever after...

i just go back with an ex if he is not, for me, a real ex yet. i mean, if there's no one new with him or with me from the time we broke up. however, once i've started a new relationship, i knew that the last one will never work again, so there's no second chance for us. if i can still see hope, then i'll still be free, quietly waiting for him and me to go back together. i don't give up easily on my relationship, i put so much patience, endurance, and love in it, that once i decided it's over, then it means i've already given my all, that i've reached my limit and it's really over. that means there's nothing we could do about it anymore.

If I'm not in love with anyone, yes I might consider dating an ex. Then we'll see where it goes from there. If it feels good then we should give it another try. If not, well

I think with this question you're assuming a classical relationship based on the idea "and they lived happily ever after". Well, if we go this way, I would say (in general, of course, because each case is a whole different world) that such a person won't really work, you can stay all your life returning and leaving back... But in my personal opinion, what really counts is not the "ever after" but the moment, so I would say that if I find a reasonable oportunity to share a nice time with that person, I won't even reflect on what's to come, just let the things go on and enjoy the present time.

I've been married (and divorced) three times, would I ever actually consider getting back together with any of them......no. It didn't work before and since then I am a different person, as I'm sure they are too, I do keep in touch with my last ex-husband, because he still lives near our youngest daughter and I live 1600 miles away now. As for the first ex, I haven't seen nor spoken to him in 27 years, the second ex I haven't seen nor spoken too in 7 or 8 years, but I do know that he is remarried, if they haven't divorced lol. Quite frankly, I'm with a wonderful man in every sense of the word, and should we ever breakup........he'll be a hard act to follow, and I'm not sure that there is another man out there that could fill his shoes.

hi silverlocket.i guess even if my ex was not that kind of a person who would change with time,i would rather not give him another chance and the reason is that the person is the same.his abits and those things which made us apart would still be in him.so rather than to make both of ours life get into mess,i would prefer to be single.i truly believe that love relations once broken leaves a strain.so better to move ahead without that person in life.

Hi,there! Well,I think this really depends on the reason that the two got separated.If the love doesn't work or the two know exactly that they don't fit each other at all,then maybe it's not very likely that they'll go back together with each other.If there're some other reasons like distance or work and the like,then it's possible that such problems don't exist and they get back together again.The point is that the love doesn't change and there's no problem with the affection between each other.The only think that hurts is the reality which the two had no solutions in the past.But maybe they have solutions after some time,then the second trial may work:) Thanks for your discussion and I wish you all the best^_^ Have a nice day!

i would personally have no problem with it both sides favour such a move. it may be a little awkward if she/he is the one then so be it. there actually nothing you can do about it

Hi, I feel that if it doesnt workout at the first place, probably it never works in the future. Perhaps the partners will try to work out the things a little here and there, but it can never ever be the same.