What does 'forgive mean' to you?
By babykay
@babykay (2131)
Ireland
December 4, 2007 2:55pm CST
Does it mean to act as if nothing has happened.
Does it mean to forget what the wrongdoer has done.
Does it mean you should treat the wrongdoer as if they have done no wrong?
Or perhaps does 'to forgive' mean AFTER punishment, we treat the wrongdoer as if nothing is wrong.
What does forgiveness mean to you?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
4 Dec 07
To me, forgive means to accept what a person has done and to move past it. It does not mean to forget, but to not hold it against the person anymore. For example, if a friend lies to me, I get upset, then I decide that I can accept what she did and still be friends. I won't always assume that she is lying because she did it once, and I won't say things to her like "Well, last time you lied, so how do I know you're not lying now?" That does not mean I have to forget it happened. I should still be aware of the fact that it happened, and in the future, if I have a reason to believe she is lying again, the memory of it happening will come up. It's a very fine line to walk.
2 people like this
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
6 Dec 07
It really depends on the situation- who hurt me, how they hurt me, and most importantly, if they took responsibility for what they did. I could never forgive a person who does not acknowledge what they did. If they acknowledge what they did, take responsibility and do everything the can to correct the situation, I would try to forgive. But I have trust issues, so if a person I was in a relationship with cheated on me, I would have a hard time forgiving that, even if they did take responsibility.
I guess each person has to do what feels right to them. If you can't forgive, that's ok. You have that right. Some people I know have been betrayed and feel like they owe something to the person who betrayed them, so they forgive. I can't do that. I can't force it or do it consciously. For me, it just happens or it doesn't, kind of like falling in love.
2 people like this
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
4 Dec 07
That is a really good question, baby. I can honestly say that I don't know what that means to me. I have been really wronged in the last year by some people, and I cannot find myself able to forgive. Perhaps because to me forgiveness would be like saying it was okay to treat me the way they did. I used to think forgiving meant treating the wrongdoer as if they had done no wrong and moving on with life. Now I'm not so sure.
1 person likes this
@babykay (2131)
• Ireland
4 Dec 07
the reason I am posting this question is because I am at a real loss as to what forgive means. If someone has done something wrong on us, if we are to really forgive, does it mean we allow ourselves open to the possibility that it will happen again?
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@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
5 Dec 07
I have to say that in all of my experiences forgiveness does mean opening yourself up for the same or similar situation to happen again. If forgiveness means keeping an open relationship then you would, in fact, be open to the same hurts. I just don't see a way around that. I am an all or nothing type of person, though, when it comes to relationships. That may change my view a little compared to others. Also, the last two times that I have had a reason to forgive have really torn up my heart. I don't think I can handle that again, so I choose not to forgive those people. They will never have a part of me to destroy again.
1 person likes this
@furqanoops (363)
• Pakistan
5 Dec 07
well it means very important for me, like i never said forgive me to that person who is at fault. some people do not care about to understand what these words realy means they just use such words
the time when i use such word i said them from my heart not for other satisfaction
1 person likes this
@kittypinky (245)
• China
5 Dec 07
nothing happened ?you can do that ?
to me ,forgiving someone means juest letting the past pass ,and forgetting what happened ,and then lead my happy and carefree life again .
