To get a Cat or Not?

First welcome to mylot. Have fun while you are here. I think if you want a cat you should get one. But I do agree with you of not bringing your 10 year old cat to you. I think you should get yourself a kitten so you can train it so it will be used to your new surroundings. I have always let my cats outside but I also had my cats neutered so she couldn't get pregnant. If a male cat I still got it fixed so it wouldn't cry and holler at night time if it wanted out. If you do decide to get one just watch your friend and make sure he isn't mean to it. If he is, just tell him you will not put up with his behavour and you will see him change pretty quickly if he loves you.

I think you answered your own question - Brian's place is small and he isn't cat obsessed or even close. Hanging a picture you don't like or giving up a drawer so your boyfriend/girlfriend can have a place to put stuff is a compromise people make in their home if their girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't live there but is there enough. But the care of a living creature is a serious matter and should not happen unless the person whose home the pet is at is ecstatic about the idea - not just to appease their honey but they would want the pet even if the girlfriend wasn't in the picture. And that's not the case with Brian. By the cat being at his house, you are also saddling him with vet bills, etc, he may or may not be in a position to tale on. Remember, a cat is not like a coffee maker or blanket that you get two of so you can have one in each house. The fact that you don't know what the set up would be "should i let the cat out or not?" makes me think "no" even more. And I am not trying to be a downer,,,but what happens if the situation changes. What if Brian ends up being allergic, you break up, or a job makes one or both of you move, what would become of the cat? I think for now, focus on the cat that you have. Cats are more resilient than you think and with a carrier a bit larger than normal to make it comfy your cat may ride fine. sometimes things are harder on us than them. And ten isn't young but its far from elderly considering many cats live well into their teens and sometimes twenties. She is probably lonely if you are never home. Cats are okay for a couple days alone if someone looks in on them but if you are never home, that's not fair to the cat either. I don't think she will be as traumatized as you think to move again, but you have to think about what you want in your relationship - sell/break lease on your house to move closer to Brian or him do the same for you. I know you are not asking for relationship advice, but cat advice - but eventually - if you are considering having different pets at different houses you may want to rethink living in two states for the sake of ALL the living beings. (unless you have a roomate or relative that lives with you full time in PA, loves to take care of the cat, etc...but something to consider still)

I guess that technically you shouldnt get one because brain and you should both really want this cat or only you will be stuck taking care of it. You also stated that you dont want to neglect it and give it the best home ever and let it outside. SO, basically maybe you should just wait itll you could really be settled so you dont end up regreting it. I hope I helped.