establishing paternity 4 a child
By owhite
@owhite (1)
United States
December 9, 2007 9:50pm CST
I have a beautiful daughter who is five years old. I was very young when I got pregnant with my daughter, like most woman out here today abortion was not a option so i kept my baby. I told the father and assumesd he would be as nervous and excited as me. Well he wasn't he told me to get a abortion and pretty much he wanted nothing to do with me or a child. Now five years later i run into a old friend of mines and she told me the guys been looking for me. So i called him and now he basically want in on his daughter life. Now during those five years i met a wonderful man who loved my daughter as if she is his and so he adopted her. Should i cooperate with her dad after all these year and get a DNA test now to establish my daughter is his child? Please respond with your opionon and critic i'm open to hearing from everyone
2 people like this
7 responses
@nkhanna (922)
• India
10 Dec 07
well i really dont understand as to why do you need to go for a DNA test.who is in need of this.its really good to hear that even after moving on life you got a person woh loves you and your daughter a lot.i think you should do what your heart tells you.since this is a situation were your heart can judge more effectively than youe brain.where was the man all this time ?why did he realised his responsibilty only now?i think before accepting him in your life you need to get a satisfactory answer for this.also think aobut the man who loved you a lot and treid to become a dad ofr your daughter.just listen to your heart.all the best.
2 people like this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
10 Dec 07
YOu have to ask yourself thisl... after 5 years... why only now?... what made him change his mind about being responsible for his daughter... how would the adoptive father feel about this?...
And why do you need a DNA test... if you are sure that he is the father and you have not been with anyone when the child was conceived then what is the purpose of that DNA test?...
One good thing about this is that you did not have an abortion and things turned out so well for you without the real father...
@lucgeta (924)
• France
10 Dec 07
I commend you by your attitude and bravery.
I disagree with the people asking why now, it really doesn't matter - whatever happened in his live made him more responsible. Hope he doesn't want to take your daughter from you just visit her and support her.
In any case, if he is asking you should do a DNA test - it won't bother anyone as your husband/partner knows she has another biological father.
Difficult to say from a distance what the people involved wants, the easy part is only thru cooperation your daughter will best served.
Sure you're an excellent loving and tender mother and will know what is best to do.
1 person likes this
@UnselfishShellfish (1306)
• United States
10 Dec 07
I agree with the first poster: Why now?
But if you are trying to get any sort of financial support out of him, I'd advise that you need to get one. A simple cheek swab can be used. That way if you do decide to go after child support, especially back child support, then you have proof that she is his.
But what about your new husband? What will that do to him if the bio dad wants custody or visitation? The adoption can be overruled if you did not follow the proper steps to cut off the bio dad's paternal rights.
1 person likes this
@Jewelrysellingmom (20)
• United States
15 Dec 07
It all depends on what it best for the child. I have a son whom is 5 and I have done an open adoption with his birth mother. Ours is different because he knows he has 2 moms and that he is special because it took two moms to give him all the love he needed. But, we do not know who the bithfather is. My husband is his dad and if someone came into the picture now WE would all be devastated. I feel for you and hope for the best for your child. Maybe all she really need was two dads to make her their Princess.:)
@Ohara_1983 (4117)
• Kuwait
10 Dec 07
They are right why know, you need to made your own dicision, thousand times think what is the best for you & your daughter, DNA is no need if you really sure that his the father. for five years i sure your daughter will be mad of him and ask why know?
