What is the ideal age of getting Married
By mcvelasco
@mcvelasco (80)
Philippines
December 11, 2007 2:48am CST
Hi! just want to know your age when you get married. Im a girl and Im already 28years old. Some of my family members tell me to get married already because im getting older.But I said I dont have yet a boyfriend, nobody's woing me at home or going to our home like "ligaw". Guys are just texting thats the way they woo a girl, which I do not like. I want them to go to our house. Im just curious am I old already in my age. How about you what age do you get married and how you get into it. Me I dont haw to have a boyfriend. I really dont know.....
3 people like this
19 responses
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
11 Dec 07
There isn't an "ideal age". It is completely subjective and on a case-by-case basis. No two people are the same.
I'll be 21 on my wedding day, my husband will be 23.
2 people like this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
11 Dec 07
I think GloomCookieLex hit the nail on the head. When you're ready to be married is purely subjected and should never be decided by anyone else but you. You can't define a person by their age. Gloom and her future groom are mature enough @ 21 to be connected together "officially" yet there may be some people who are forty and not mature enough. Or not ready for marriage. And unlike some answers, marraige is how you and your future mate choose to define it. Children may or may not be part of the equation and shouldn't be part of your criteria for deciding unless you decideit should be.
2 people like this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
11 Dec 07
I'm always curious about how people come up with these ages as each person is an individual and matures at a different rate. Also, women live longer then men, so if I were to choose abritrary numbers, I'd switch your numbers around. 30-32 for women and 25-28 for men. Even though, of coure its said that men mature more slowly.
I love your avatar buddhan! Happy mylotting.
2 people like this
@bbsr13 (4196)
• India
11 Dec 07
hello,mcvelasco! as you are 28 years old,it right time for you to get married. your family members are justified to suggest you to marry soon.since marriage is a must for all men and women they should merry at proper time as it meets the natural needs.marriage gives good feelings to all women.thank you.wish you prosperous married life.
2 people like this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
11 Dec 07
Hi bbsr. I hope this day finds you well. I'd have to disagree. No one should marry simply because they have to or should. They should marry because they have the foundation to a good relationship - Love, friendship, RESPECT (mutual), communication and attraction. Without ALL of these elements a strong relationship cannot be built. I waited until after thirty and I was and am happy with that decision.
Mcvelasco, don't let your family push you into a relationship which you may potentially be unhappy and feel unfufilled. If you do decide to have children, it will be unfair to them. Make sure you find a man who is kind and who will treat you well - as you will treat him. Steer clear of anyone who feels belittling you, intense anger or even physical abuse is okay. There are usually clues in the courtship. Take your time so you can find the right person. Good luck!
@neethucool (357)
• India
12 Dec 07
Hi dear freind i think nowadays nobody keeping the age of marriage depends upon persons most of city living people are thinking like that no religion , no caste age also no problem , But some traditional think is there I thing guys 28 , Girls 23, like that the ratio . Some one think after settling marriage someone think marriage is important after marriage settle like that the thing is both should be come to the meturity for there mind not a physical meturity , So both are can understand or else there clash will come . Especialy muslim marriage the girl got marry nearly 15 ,16 they doest know any thing about the life , so divourse like that will come.. Marriage is not a one day two day program its a life long mutual understanding so should be take care to choosing a partner..
Thax dear have a nice day..
@lorelai (1558)
• Italy
11 Dec 07
I think that's not really important, I mean its not like one can decide now I am 34 or 26 or 25 or 20 and this is the ideal time to get married, well at least I can't. I think that the ideal time to marry come when you do all you wanted to do before starting a family. I don't say that life ends when you are married but it changes a lot and the ideal time to get married is when you are ready for those changes.
1 person likes this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
11 Dec 07
I agree, I lived in a lot of different places before I married at 35. I traveled a lot. Even worked on a few resorts. I almost didn't say yes because there was so much more I wanted to do. But then I decided that I can now share my adventures.
1 person likes this
@coffeesong (163)
• China
11 Dec 07
I think women's ideal married age is about 26-28 years old. I'm planning to get married at 27 years old. ^^
2 people like this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
21 Dec 07
Nowadys it does not go like there should be any ideal age. One person should marry when he/she thinks he/she is ready to take the vow. Also u need to find out your love to marry. I believe just for the sake of getting married, if u marry someone, it is not going to help in long run.
@simplyman2006 (1706)
• India
12 Dec 07
well i think if u achieved ur aim then u should married or otherwise u should try to achieve it and get married at 30 age . if u donot achieve ur height then u should try after ur marriage.
well it depend on thinking,ur aim and love.
i am guy and my age is 20 well i am working hard to be an actor after that i will marry.
that's it.
1 person likes this
@fanji008 (775)
• China
11 Dec 07
Hi,there! Well,I don't think there's a clear definition of the ideal age for getting married.Different people just have different experiences and ideas towards it.In my opinion,if you're mature enough to be in a marriage and you've met the one that could spend the whole life with you and you think both of your conditions are all right for the marriage,then you can get married.The point is that you've got the right person and the right condition:) But for girls maybe it's better to below 30 cause you can have more choices and more chances if you're young.Don't worry,you'll meet your guy one day.Just take it easy! Best regards! Have a nice day^_^
1 person likes this
@signorpetho (379)
• Indonesia
11 Dec 07
Don't think, just feel and do it.
Try to be more open to men. Please your self, do whatever do you want, explore any kind of relationships. Don't prison your soul and happiness. The time will come.
You'll know when you're ready.
People have their own limit in ideal age of marriage. But that won't be the best view to decide when you want to be married.
You'll know
1 person likes this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
11 Dec 07
I just wanted to be say that I love your anweres. You are wise.
1 person likes this
@passbot122 (57)
• Pakistan
11 Dec 07
According to me for a girl an ideal age for getting married would be between 20 and 25. After 25 its a little too old. For a guy it can would vary from 25 to 30. You're still quite young u can still get a young guy don't waste your time dear!
@asawanialvin0611 (1877)
• Philippines
11 Dec 07
i think the right time to settle down is when you realized that you can share your life with someone else and can able to shoulder responsibility like being a parent, wife ,sister,friend,co-employee,etc.
1 person likes this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
11 Dec 07
I think you're right asawanialvin, and I just want to add that which every roles you choose are up to the couple. Some may not want to be a parent. For the longest time I didn't want to be a parent which would have ben perfectly okay. However you are correct in that married couples are partnerships. I'm not sure about the sister part, that's kind of incestuaous. But friend and lover surely and sometimes wives are a parent to their husbands or vice versa haha.
And some husbands and wives are co-adventures in the adventure of life. From the day to day to white water rafting, mountain climbing, jumping out of planes etc!
Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@irh888 (35)
• Indonesia
12 Dec 07
it's only my opinion, didn't mean judge anybody. I think, first, you can read book The secret to change your mind about you don't have a boy friend. 2nd, you should find out about had a baby after 35 years old. 3rd, as long as you can manage yourself ( what you need, what you want as a person) having baby is the best thing in your life. do you remember how's falling love feel? it's thousands time better. Do you know gilmoregirl on tv? it's feels good if we can understand what our child want.
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
12 Dec 07
First, I love your avatar - I love Jenson Ackles. I had my baby at thirty six and he is super healthy. He had one cold on his first birthday. He is growing fine and he's very smart and developmentally advanced. My mom had two kids after 37, me included - and we were healthy and happy. My brother is very succesful, and has a six figure income. His wife had his second child late as well and she is super super smart and very healthy - so don't worry about age!
I agree that having children is wonderful - if its right for you. I really want to read the book and see the dvd the secret, the principles are ones I think i've always tried to follow. When I do things go smoothly, when I don't - its a bumpy ride!
have fun mylotting!
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
13 Dec 07
I think the idea age for the girl to get married is around 25 to 28 and for the boys is 28 to 30. I think you are at right age to get married. I am 28 year old. I am planning to get married within two years. I think you should try go for a date before getting choseing a life partner.
@cyclonehosting (181)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I'm mail, 27 and I'm not married either. I don't even have a girlfriend. I don't think there is an ideal marriage age. Marriage is a big commitment which you have to be ready for. You can't just say ok, the marriage age is 20, I'm 20 now, time to get married. LOL Nope, that's not what marriage is about. You need to care and love the person rather then just waiting for the age to get married and then get married. Because, if you get married because of the age then your marriage will fall apart.
I live in Pennsylvania in the USA. If you want to chat with me more, send me some messages. I'm always available. :-)
Talk to you soon,
Dennis
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
11 Dec 07
I'm not sure what "ligaw" is but I assume it means Custom.
I was 35 when I got married, 36 when I conceived my first child and 37 when he was born. There were a series of circumstances/coincidences that contrived to bring us together - moving to the same state - at the same time - when both of us wanted to move to opposite ends of CA. Moving diagnoally across from each other. Even more I won't get into. Even enrolling in the same school. However, we finally met online.
My mom, who was brought up to believe that a girls only purposte in life is to get married and take care of the house married early. Then her husband divorced her. She went from having her biggest decision being what kind of silverware and plates to use when her husband's boss came for dinner to being a single mom and the primary responsibility holder for her household. She stayed in bed for months. However, she did pull herself up and went back to school and even eventually became vice-president of the international division of a development company. Traveling the world.
My aunt had it worse. Brilliant, she was a polyglot - meaning she knew several languages most of which she taught her self. She wanted to be a Doctor but her parents, my grandparents said ABSOLUTELY not. Females get married and have kids and run a household. So she was very depressed and physically sick her entire life as a result.
My mom, because of her experiences, told us we shouldn't even think of being married until at least thirty. By then, we will be marrying for the right reasons. Not because one thinks s/he has to, or for security, to get out of the house, because of animal attraction or one of the many reasons people marry that involve the foundation of a long lasting relationship; love, communication, friendship, respect, and some of that animal attraction. On this foundation the house of love can be built she would say.
I wanted to travel myself, to live in different places - I was actually studying at the time to be a Massage Therapist and wanted to live on a few resorts, saving a lot of money to eventually buy a house. Take time to gain all the attributes I wanted, infinite patience and compassion, knowledge - and to really get to know myself.
Then I met my husband. I likely would've said no because of my plans but a terrifying incident had happened a short time before - and my husband was a very safe person. And we make a good match. I told him on the way to the place we got married all of my flaws - listing them. He claimed not to care. I told him that I didn't want a baby and so if he really wanted a family (which he said he did) he would have to go elsewhere, find another wife. He said he wanted me more!
I spent my whole life denying wanting a baby. Then one night, I made a decision. And so, we booked passage for our sweet little boy and I provided comfy transport for him for nine month and then delivered him to the world. It took two days, and after that ordeal - almost losing him in the delivery room because he was reacting to the inducer they gave him (to induce contractions)never again. Of course, I've said that before - about both marraige and any babyies! Now, though, I'd likely adopt.
We have the same ideas of raising, and for his schooling and a shared vision of the future. Neither of us go with the trends of the world and each has unusual ideas of politics and the 'natural world'.
I would wait until fate brings you to him - or rather then waiting for your ship to come in as they say - you could swim out to it. Find groups that match your interest - like hiking, canoeing, or role playing game. There you find guys who match your interests as well.
Good luck and keep us posted.
@UnselfishShellfish (1306)
• United States
11 Dec 07
You get married when youw ant to get married. Marraige is not a necessity anymore. You can even live together without it.
Don't let anyone tell you have to do something. You do it when you get ready. If you're not ready now, then don't worry about it. If you don't have a serious boyfriend or don't have one you can't see the relationship working out, don't get married just because everyone else is doing it. Wait.
@karilyn (40)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
I got married at the age of 26 and now I'm already 27. But take note me and my hubby just stayed together for just a month then now we're separated already. That is so sad....but we all know that there's no regrets that comes first.
My advice to you is that maybe the right guy for you doesn't arrive yet. Don't be too fast in entering to that kind of sacrament. Because once you're there it's hard to get out from it, in which easy to get in. Enjoy your life don't be affected of what they say towards your situations right now. If it really meant for you...it would be really yours.