Couple give up their adopted child after 7 seven years...

Aseretdd, When I read this discussion it brought back memories for me. I adopted two little boys. The older of the two I had in my home since he was thirteen months old. The younger one came to live with me when he was about a month shy of turning three. One night I came home from work to find a message from the social worker asking me to call her back about an important matter. I was a little worried because we were getting ready to go to court to finalize the adoption of my older son. I called her back first thing the next morning to see what the problem was. She asked me if I would be willing to foster "Drew" and eventually adopt him. I was confused. Drew had lived with that foster family since birth. I had just talked to the foster father the week before and he told me how great things were going. We were both scheduled to finalize the boys adoptions on the same day. The social worker told me that the other family had decided not to adopt "Drew" because he was making their lives to "stressful". The had "Drew" since he was a newborn, how could it take three years to figure out how stressful a child is. As a parent I couldn't imagine even considering giving my boys back. Actually, at both boys adoption hearings the judge made a point to tell me there was a no return policy. These people don't deserve to be parents to any child if they are so willing to toss their daughter away. I hope that this little girl gets a new loving family that will make sure she knows how much they want her and how lucky they are to have her for their child.

this is awful...how can they suddenly decide that the kid does not fit in with their lifestyle..it took them seven years to decide that...this is the meanest thing to do..they shud be sent to prision for atleast seven years and not tried in the court for seven years after that release them and say they were arrested by mistake...it is the question of a small child how can anyone be so ruthless..God will punish them severely for doing this and i feel law shud also not leave them...Fine them make them bear all charges for the child till atleast 18 years...and God Bless the Child..

That's crazy! What if it was their biological child who didn't fit into their lifestyle??? People should really give a lot of thought before they adopt a child (or decide to have one). Poor child must be feeling so bad.

It is very bad to hear this news. How heartless people can be. If they were to give away the child why they adopted the child then? It is really unjustified. I hope they adopted it as child. when they have groomed it for 7 yrs, how the child can't fit? its a shame.

OMG!This story broke my heart.My hubby and I recently adopted.Ours is a different story.I have taken care of our baby six months in the womb before he was born, always accompany the biological Mom on his prenatal visits. We were there too when the woman gave birth, and I have our baby day 1 and to the present.We are glad, God gave us the opportunity to have him as a family and knew where he came from. I read the story and I am saddened about it.The issue is, no facts have been divulge why the couple gave up the child!Must have been tough.But there are women who can't really mother children of their own...Several factors must have been affecting the relationship to the children because biologically it wasn't her.We love our adopted son, no matter he didn't come from me biologically. Anyway, I am pretty sure the Korean community in Hongkong is angered by a perception of this act of this Dutch couple.Wonder in my mind, why did they have to wait this long...seven years? Don't know but it is strange! Poor child, she doesn't have even a citizenship in that locality.I think Social welfare is stressed to find a loving family for this child.As for the child, she is the one who suffered, or traumatized for all this scenes.I hope and pray, the authority will soon find her a family and home.

first of all, i think 7 years is more than enough to let the child adopt to their culture. to think that they got her when she was a baby. no adjustment is necesary because right from the start for all she can remember she is living with them and had their culture. so where is thier reason that the child cannot adjust? i really disagree with their decision. thay already have 2 biological children now? so what would people think? that they use the child while they are not having children yet? what a very bad experience for the child. i pity the child!

Well my heart goes out to this child, the fact is her so-called "parents" have now had two children of their own and she is surplus to their requirements now. Disgraceful. However, another way to look at it is at least she now has a chance of being placed in a loving home with parents who truly want her and have her best interests at heart. If these people are as cold and calculating as to do something like this then she is well rid of them.

I couldn't finish reading that story. That is outragous! How can anyone do such a thing? That poor child. I can't imagine what she must me going through. I hope they can find a loving family that will take her in and show her the love that she so deserves. My heart goes out to her!

I could not read the whole story because it hurt me to much. That poor baby, child. how can a child not addapt to "the food or lifestype" when alls she knows is what they have taught her. I want to take this baby and give her lots of love had patience.

this is sicking when you think of all the people out there that want children an can't have one I feel for that poor little girl

Here's the thing, though: how do you know that the child was "innocent?" I don't think there's really any such thing and although there are tons of arguments out there that tell us that there's no genetic predisposition to behvioral issues, I can tell you plainly that there are children out there who, as they grow older, take on some if not many of the traits of their biological parents even if those parents never had any influence over them. My mother tells me that there are many things about me that are a lot like my dad and yet I barely knew the man and spent almost no time with him growing up. I wasn't in close contact with him until I was 17 but in that time I developed traits that were a LOT like his. The fact of the matter is that this wasn't their kid it'll always stick in the back of my mind that the kid was given up for adoption for a reason. Find out a bit about the parents and you might figure out any number of reasons why these people couldn't live with those people's child. And whether you trust it as a spiritual authority or simply respect it for its ability to make its way through time, the Bible addresses this issue in a manner that I believe fits when it says that "the sins of the father are visited upon the son, yea, even unto the seventh generation." That kind of tells me that your biological parents DO actually matter...

is this as simple as that? are there no legal actions or process to this? how can they say that the child can't 'fit' in their lifestyle? she's just a child for them to judge such. are they partygoers, or rich or live like a king and a queen for them to say so? the child has been with them since she was a baby and she could have adopted their so called 'lifestyle' already because she grew up and live with them all through her seven years. and with regards to the social worker's department, is the process as simple as that. is this an acceptable reason? i hope they must look deeper into this. they should have known and realize the effect this could inflict to the child. after all they are social workers!

I'm in a position to judge because that could of been me but thank God it wasn't. Do you have any idea how they screwed up that child, now every insecurity that child experience would be associated with I wasn't good enough for my mom & I'm not good enough for anyone. That's just cruel, you carry her for a test run for seven years & now that they can't accommodate her, she's returned to the lot. Are there any laws to protect the innocent, what would it take for goverments to impliement laws or guide lines that will stop vultures like these people, isn't there a law they broke so they can be prosecuted. My heart goes out to that child, to be abandon by your parents is one thing, but these people just crushed her little heart.

wow... thats really bad... but i can relate to a certain extend on how they feel... my mom is a foster mother and when we are really naughty like always fighting with the my mom will threaten us that she will want to quit being a foster mom. so if she is like that than i feel that she is doing something like what you said."behave yourself or you will go!!!"

yes I agree that is terrible.. When you adopt a child you are taking on the responsibility of raising them for the rest of their life. They are a part of your family. I think it is so selfish of them to give up thier child because it doesn't fit in with their lifestyle. That's a bunch of crap. I would take that child in with us in a heartbeat if I could. I mean didn't they even take into consideration what this is going to do to that child's mental health??

I agree that is an absurd excuse. Before adopting, parents need to think carefully about the responsibilities and consequences because once you adopt, you have complete responsibility over that child regardless of her or your "lifestyle". How stupid! Couples who are not willing to adjust their "lifestyle" should not be allowed to adopt!

This is the best thing that could possibly have happened to neglected, and unfortunate child! This crass couple didn't bonded with the child in 7 years. They had No love for this child whatsoever!The child was just a nuisance. Now at least this unloved child has a chance of being adopted again by a couple who can give the child the love, and the Home, that he/she deserves!

I used to teach preschool and I had a little boy in my class who was adopted. He was a little bit of a handful at four years old and had a difficult time in class with keeping still and learning. You could just tell he would have some problems in the future The same thing happened adoptive parents gave him back to his biological parent because they couldn't handle him.

I could understand if the couple gave her up cause they weren't able to provide for her but not fitting into their lifestyle is just not right and I don't think they should be able to adopt again. I pray that this child finds someone or a couple that won't toss her back out once they get tired of playing house.

It is angering. I would say that there isn't a single good excuse for giving her up, and certainly not the "She doesn't fit in with our lifestyle." I can't believe those people were allowed to adopt and that they have kids! My heart goes out to her. I can't imagine how that will leave scars. First she has the fact that she is adopted in the first place a situation hard for most under normal cercumstances and then there is the fact that the family that adopted her didn't want her anymore when she was seven. That is really disgusting. Of course the first thing I said when reading the article..."I'll take her!"