Do you prefer submissive or domineering friends?
By poohgal
@poohgal (6845)
Singapore
December 15, 2007 11:39am CST
All of us have friends. Some of us are followers and some of us are leaders.
Followers are usually submissive and easy with anything. They get along best with leaders (ie. people who are usually domineering and enjoy giving instructions and making decisions). In a way, they complement each other.
From my own personal experience, I feel that opposites attract and being submissive me, I get along with domineering friends better. I do have submissive friends, however, whenever I go out with them, we take 'forever' to make decision on where to eat, what to do, where to go and etc. On the contrary, if there's a 'domineering leader' among us, life would be easier as he/she will just decide and we will just go along with the decision with no protest.
So, what kind of a person are you? What type of friends do you hang out better with? Do share your thoughts ^^
2 people like this
11 responses
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
16 Dec 07
i'm more of a submissive person and that's y i always follow ple.. BUt i do take the lead once in a while and when i have decide wat i wanna do or eat or watever, i will insist that way and my frenz will have no choice but to follow me instead =P LOL
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
16 Dec 07
Good, shui tong! Then we will get along well together haha! :P
But really, I don't have preference for either category of friends but if someone is in the extreme, then it may not be the more ideal.
Friends. You said friends right?
And so in my opinion, friends should be on an equal footing. We can be domineering from time to time - that's fine - but we need to know how to be submissive from time to time too. So we take turns domineering. =)
That's what I call fair and will result in a happier friendship.:P
@happybana (1)
• United States
27 Mar 13
THIS. People who are overly domineering OR overly submissive are sooooo annoying. I find myself feeling like a bully around overly submissive people, because their constant need for approval on every little thing and inability to make their own decisions or assert their own opinions and desires makes it very difficult to interact with them. Overly domineering people are just jerks. I believe in equal footing in relationships and friendships. I don't want to have to take the lead ALL THE TIME, but at the same time I need to be heard and respected.
@MisterPlus (1915)
• Philippines
16 Dec 07
My best friend and I was so happy together. We hardly go out budget won't let us. We usually stick together going to other friends house and have a little fun there. How I miss him.
1 person likes this
@bing_r77 (237)
• Philippines
16 Dec 07
hello poohgal! i get along with both, leader and submissive.. what is important is that, you know your friend's likes and dislikes.. if i wll be with a friend who is a leader type, i'll let the person decide where we go and what kind of food we eat as long as i like my friend's decision.
if im also with my friend who is a submissive one, im the one who decides..
in friendship, understanding is important. knowing what your friend likes and dislikes.. with that, you will get along well even he/she is a leader or a submissive type..
1 person likes this
@pierrelira (118)
• Brazil
16 Dec 07
I prefer the submissive ones. I like to be a leader. I born to this.
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
26 Dec 07
Hmm... this one is a cheem one.
I never really thought of it that way.
Most of the time, when I am with friends, there is a good mixture of both the domineering and submissive friends.
We all make some decisions on what we want to do one time or another. No particular one that dominates the group.
I guess, when we are all so comfortable with each other, we never really notice this kinda behavior among us. Heh heh... I will try to observe the next time we go out.
@I_LUV_U (2519)
• India
18 Dec 07
First of all, they should be what they are, that is very important to me, they should not pose to be domineering or submissive. Next will I think of your question. I think they should be ready to be both, depending upon the situation. The one who is always submissive or always domineering cannot be a "friend", at least not in my books.
The one who is always domineering is a BOSS.
The one who is always submissive is a SLAVE.
The one who does not mind being either of them, and who has the liberty to be either of them, when the situation demands, is whom I call a real *friend*.
So, to put simply, what matters to me is WHEN they are submissive and when they are domineering, not WHETHER they are submissive or domineering.
@I_LUV_U (2519)
• India
18 Dec 07
Oh no, I didn't really mean to insult you or anyone for that matter. I wasn't even aware that it might make such an implication to someone. I was just trying to say that completely domineering or completely submissive attitude does not exact the definition of friendship, friendship is rather a two-way business.
I think you are on the receiving end here, you must be really gem of a friend to be ever submissive and also you are quite sentimental. That implies, your friends, on the other hand, are being domineering. I feel very sorry for your friends are not treating you equally letting you a chance to be domineering, it's really pitiful to see someone always being submissive, especially if it's a friend, they must understand this. I hope they are not taking advantage of your pondering nature.
No sobs here, please, only :=)))
1 person likes this
@night92 (5)
• China
16 Dec 07
hmm...
It seems that I am a absolutly submissive person to my friends,however, for me,to be honest,I prefer both of them.
Because the submissive friends can be easily got along with,we can discuss something with no protest,which makes me feel confortable.As to domineering friends,I also admire their abllity for leadership, they can help me to make decision instantly.
And in my opinion,the most important is I have some good frinds...^^
1 person likes this
@Danhar123 (1)
•
4 Dec 11
Great thread. I am not overly domineering, but I have often wondered why, over the last few years, I have not been entirely happy. I suspect it is because my friends are "equal" and nowadays we are not allowed to be anything other than balanced and socially correct in everything that we say and do. Essentially this means I work hard at being someone that supresses their inner nature. Not good. I was never happier when we had friends who enjoyed me taking the lead role. I always had a strong sense of knowing what the group wanted to do and when, and was able to make things happen. I was entirely comfortable with my social position. I was a valued friend who contributed and was loved. Regrettably, since moving home, this group rarely meets. Since then I have not been allowed to "be myself" and need to find new people who enjoy the benefits of a leader. Most are wary and cautious of a person with a strong personality. Thanks for reading this.
@Danhar321 (1)
•
4 Dec 11
Great thread. I am not overly domineering, but I have often wondered why, over the last few years, I have not been entirely happy. I suspect it is because my friends are "equal" and nowadays we are not allowed to be anything other than balanced and socially correct in everything that we say and do. Essentially this means I work hard at being someone that supresses their inner nature. Not good. I was never happier when we had friends who enjoyed me taking the lead role. I always had a strong sense of knowing what the group wanted to do and when, and was able to make things happen. I was entirely comfortable with my social position. I was a valued friend who contributed and was loved. Regrettably, since moving home, this group rarely meets. Since then I have not been allowed to "be myself" and need to find new people who enjoy the benefits of a leader. Most are wary and cautious of a person with a strong personality. Thanks for reading this.
