emotional wreck

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im in a wreck. emotionally. i was on a relationship that shouldn't had happened. looking back, when i was there..on the point when all of me was overwhelmed with the emotions i've felt..i was so blinded that i overlooked the ugly things that might come my way. thank god, even if i were a little bit crazy, i still got the presence of mind to know that this must not happen - that this must stop. there is no one to defend me but myself because even though i know i got friends who will stand by me, i still have to do things all by myself. it hurts. yes, it does. but not in the way you might think. it hurts because i was too innocent, too naive, too nice that people tend to take advantage of my kindness. but now, a lot of things happened. it changed things, i never thought that its true what other people say, that in a blink of an eye..your emotions changes. i never could have thought that i could hate another person as much as i loved. i know know he made a fool of me 'coz i allowed him..but i still hated him in a way 'coz he knows my vulnerability and he used it. i want to recollect my life. get back the things that i've lost for the past 3months. i want to live peacefully. although i know i cannot get back those precious times that i lost, i want to live again, and just be alive. i want to heal and eventually, forget.