did your parents have a favourite kid? was it you? if not, were you jealous?
By seagoddess28
@seagoddess28 (873)
Canada
December 20, 2007 10:17am CST
I was an only child for eight years, then my brother came, then after a couple more years, my middle sister, then fifteen years after me, my youngest sister. My parents thought the sun shone out of my brother's a$$, and he could do no wrong. They refused to allow me to take a course I had been planning to take since I could dream, because they were planning for him to be the one to do it (be a doctor). Anyway, the long and short of it is that he has frittered his life away with fast girlfriends, drinking, and other things I will not even mention. In spite of his brain being close to genius level, he did not finish college and can't hold down a job. Don't get me wrong--I love my brother he's family after all. And I did give him my two cents' worth of advice and (when I could still afford it) financial assistance. The problem I think stemmed from my parents' catering to his every whim and tantrum, and giving him money to slash and burn whenever he wanted it. I think parents do the worst thing to their kids--even to the one who is the favourite--if they let their bias get away with them. I can shrug my shoulders and let it go now, but when my sisters tell me of another stupid thing my brother has done, all the bile rises up to my craw once more. Sorry for venting, my myLotter friends, and it being Christmas and all, but I had to write this or else burst! Thank you for listening to my rant and God bless you and yours this holiday season.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@sweets57 (94)
• United States
24 Dec 07
My mom and dad had seven of us kids and I am the oldest. Every year one was born, I don't remember any one being a favorite, except our youngest sister, she used to get away with everything until one day mom and dad saw what damage it was doing in her, that's when they sat her down and said, NO MORE!. I remember her throwing a fit for a while, but ended when she saw that her fits were getting her no where. I do remember that every time one of us was born my dad would work longer hours, leaving mom to handle all the kids, she treated us all the same, gave us all the same amount of love and attention, but we all, even our mom, missed our dad. Our dad passed away march 27th 2004, and we miss him even more. We are all older and have kids of our own now, and try to do our best at showing our kids we love them all the same, and they have kids of their own now and do the same. There probably alway's is a favorite child in most families, but I believe it's best if you don't show it. Happy Holiday's to you you.
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@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
26 Dec 07
I know what you mean about the youngest becoming everybody's favourite. My baby sister is 15 years younger than me, and she was like my own baby. My mother always delivered by Caesarean section, and being the oldest, I bottle fed her, changed her nappies, rocked her to sleep--throughout the night! She was always being mistaken for being mine and I loved it. Our bonds are very strong and we email each other and chat regularly online. After the passing of the years, us kids have mostly let water under the bridge flow by without getting aggravated by my brother's spoiled brat habits. I'm sorry about your dad--it is always around the holidays that we miss our departed loved ones most. We lost our dad too several years ago and I miss him keenly every Christmas. He was such a kid at Christmas! The blessings of the season and a prosperous new year to you and our family, sweets57!
@anastazia (154)
• Canada
21 Dec 07
Hey I feel ya I was the first child and the girl then the boy came lol my brother who I love very much but ya he was favoured big time. I was jealous cause my parents did not hide he was the favourite. So don't be sorry I'm glad you vented now I don't fell alone lol Happy Holidays to you and yours.
bb:)s
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@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
22 Dec 07
Oh, yeah! We can be the founding members of the Slighted First Daughter Club, LOL!!! It wouldn't have been so bad if the favouritism wasn't too obvious. Anyway, it's water under the bridge. We move on...all the best of the season to you and our family as well. Where in Canada are you? I live in Thornhill, Ontario.
@Ohara_1983 (4117)
• Kuwait
21 Dec 07
actually i feel the same what you feel for your brother, since then i know that my mom give only a time for my small sister & brother because im big enough to understand & handle for my self that what my mom said, then i realize my mom is right, you really feel that your brother is the best in your family no, think that your more smart than him, you know why? you have your own family have good job. that you can proud to your parents. then they will realize that they have a mistake to give the same to all of thier children, be happy 2008 is coming sweetfriend merry christmas & have a great new year
@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
22 Dec 07
Thank you for your understanding. I know that maybe our parents favoured another child more but it really made us stronger--we came out winners. Have a wonderful Christmas, dear Ohara, and blessings on you and your family.
@nkhanna (922)
• India
21 Dec 07
hi friend. i can really understand your condition and your outburst of anger as well.this is condition which is still prevalent in many countries.i dont know from which country do yuo belong.for me i am an indian and this is very much evident in my country.for many parents still duaghters are consider to be a responsibility nd son to be an assest .though this mentality is changing a bit but definately it will take time.parents look for their son's education first and if after that they have money then they will still think about daughter's study,since they have this thing in their mind that they have to get their daughter married as well and they will need money for it.because of this many girls who really can prove themselves best are being detained from doing so.all i can say to you is try to make your parents understand this os that atleast hey dont do the same mistake with your sisters.
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@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
21 Dec 07
I was born and raised in the Philippines. Like India, our culture sets great store by male offspring. It is not too bad now, but in my time the cultural blockage (favouring sons over daughters) was still strong. Father told me that there was not much benefit in giving me a college education--I was lucky to have finished high school--because as a girl I will only get married and the education will not be useful. Fortunately my mother did stand up for me, she persuaded my father to let me go study to become a teacher, which (at that time) was an acceptable career for women. Now you know how old I am! LOL!!!
@nitaqqsabil (280)
• Indonesia
21 Dec 07
I'm not sure about favorite kid, coz my parent only have two child. But as I remember, when I was a kid I was shocked when my mother gave birth to my sister. Jealous..? Of course, my mom said I even tried to kick my sister and at that time she was only one month old. I'm a mean big sister. People's attention drags only to her, and I used to tried to do things to attracts them. But still..my little sister get the most of the attention.
Along the as we grew, I lost that jealousy and the only thing I can do when my mom told us about my jealousy to my little sister was laughing. Turn out it was a great memory of my childhood. Now, my sister is 22 years old, we turn to be best friend.
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@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
21 Dec 07
I agree, all the emotion we had then now form part of the memories we have today. We can laugh at them now--fortunately time fogs up the mirror a lot, LOL!
@cherry1985 (7)
• China
21 Dec 07
i am the only child for my family,and now i am 23yeas .so now i lived alone. i cannot see my parents every day ,and even cannot communicate withe them every day.but i believe your parents always love all their children
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@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
21 Dec 07
I agree that all parents love their children, but there are degrees to the love, unfortunately. Well, we are all human....
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
20 Dec 07
When I was a Child my Mum preferred my Brother and when I was 17 another Step Brother came along and it was always the 2 Boys
Again she has always helped the 2 specially the younger one
Both are my Step Brothers actually
But of course like in your Case the Boys did not do to well
The youngest one has only just settled into a job now and the other one has done well now to
My Mum asks now why have you always stood on your own Feet and the other 2 still don't most of the time
Well I never answer her as I do not want to hurt her and bring up the past
We buried the hatched after she apologised to me 20 years ago and I will not throw it up into her Face
Love and a big Hug (((((((((((((((((((((Granny Siggi))))))))))))))))))))) and of course from your little Elf to
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas
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@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
21 Dec 07
Hey, my other favourite blonde! Isn't that something--that in spite of being given all the help the boys still faltered, and you having to stand on your own two feet end up being the strongest of the lot. I agree with you, it is the better person who will turn aside when there is a chance to throw back a hurtful answer, like you with your mom. You are a very good person, dear gabs, and I am really grateful that we have been able to connect through myLot. Of course, the Elf is a big bonus! Lots and lots of warm hugs and love to you and the Elf! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{gabs/Gissi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Granny Siggi loves you both!
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
20 Dec 07
There was just me and my sister. We are only 3 years apart. I never really felt that my parents favored either of us over the other. With just being two of us I guess they were able to love us evenly. Maybe because he was the only boy is why he got special attention. I have two girls and just got a baby boy and its so different having a boy.
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@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
21 Dec 07
I think you are right--there were three of us girls and he was only one boy, so they doted on him more. He was expected to carry on the family name. Have a great Christmas....
@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
21 Dec 07
It is good that you are able to accept that your parent has a favourite kid, and take pride in that you are the bigger man.
