What is your view about new years resolutions?
@Perspectives (7131)
Canada
December 27, 2007 6:52pm CST
I am always intrigued by how people respond to this question when talking in person and could not resist opening the floor for discussion on this one with all of you out there.
Do you make new years resolutions? How many of them do you keep? How does it affect you when you don't keep them? Do you just say "oh well...try again next year" or do you mentally beat yourself up? If you don't keep them why do you keep making them? If you do meet the mark are you able to pat yourself on the back? Do you think the whole idea is silly and don't both with resolutions at all?
To give you an idea on how I view resolutions...they are not something I do just at the beginning of each new year. Within the path of discovery I am on I have come to absolutely accept the power of intent coupled with realistic goal-setting and goal-getting. When I observe how my life is going as a direct result of what I say, think and do I am in an on-going process of assessing what I need to change in order to bring my dreams into reality.
So from my perspective 'resolutions' are just another word for things we want to manifest in our lives. To me that process of manifestation always begins from within. Who we are, what we think say and do has a direct bearing on what shows up in our material world. So do I make resolutions? Yes...but they are on-going...365 days of the year I am planning, thinking and doing what I can to create the life I want and doing appropriate course corrections as needed.
So how about you? I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Whatever you decide...hope by this time next year you are closer to where you'd like to be right now. I will be going away for a few days and will probably not be responding until new year...hopefully by the second of January. But I will be back to comment...you know I love to follow that rule of a response for every response here. In the meantime...cheers and happy new year!
Raia
5 people like this
10 responses
@Adoniah (7513)
• United States
28 Dec 07
I have never gone in for this. If you are going to make a change in your life, then you do it at the appropriate time not all of a sudden just because the date changed. If you make a whole list of things that you need to change, you are much less likely to succeed than if you just take care of life as it comes along. Besides winter is always a bad time to start something new or make a major change. Winter is a high stress time of year and you are just setting yourself up for failure.
Happy New Year!
Shalom, Adoniah
4 people like this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
28 Dec 07
You make a good point about the winter thing. So many people have problems with depression in winter because of lack of sunlight, plus there are all the extra issues with holidays and all that junk... just trying to get through winter is a task by itself!
3 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
You raise a really good point about the challenges that winter adds to the mix for many people. Living in central Manitoba it is dark at 5:00 PM...so many suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SADS). Both your views are similar to mine...to me it is not just one time at the beginning of the year that we make 'resolutions.' Life is a process of transformational changing in cycles of experiential learning.
So you both have my vote on this topic...and I appreciate your additions...and perspectives.
Cheers and happy new year to you too!
Raia
3 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
28 Dec 07
nope dont make any . I only try to work on what needs to be worked on and this year it is to keep up with my exercises to get my arms back with no pain and to do them more regular I have been useing armis in different ways getting house fixed up and cleaned for the new year so I feel like I have done most of thos exercises doing this .When I can reach higher adn lift more and drive more taking myself places I use all kinds of muscles doing these littel project and I feel very good that the Doctor like how well I am doing!.No sure what more I can do to make things better that I havent already done with the family. Guess I could work on daughter to be more pateint with her sister in law on the laungage situation.
THEy are going to base today am wondering how this will go today also they have to go to DMV to get tags for her vehicle as they are due the @nd and son wont be home yet and you cant go one day over or ya have to pay late charges .
Daughter says she need her chill pill midol to get along for awhile lol and I know its hard when Daughter in law wont even try to talk english at all they get bad communication there.
lol what a trip they are .
ok ok this is something that has to be worked on more I know so I will try to get that going better as I can and all will be better once son is home for good!.
I think that is it on what to do in 2008
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@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
29 Dec 07
yup you have said it all again and yes it will be interesting to see what we do this coming year! and yup I have always done what I thiought was best and oft times no one could change my thoughts I would just bring them around to my way of thinking lol
hugs and blessings to you both
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
2 Jan 08
Hello...and how good it is to be back here! I missed not being on line for the five days we were away...but we had a great time so it was a worthwhile exchange. So I have made a list of projects and time lines for things I want to put in place this year...but I do not consider them resolutions...just effective strategies to keep us on track and monitor the in-go and out-go of energy for proper time management.
Anyhow...I sent you a catch up e-mail and look forward to chatting within the week. Continued light filled blessing coming your way as always. Your candle is burning as we speak...and I am including Clay in my energetic support.
Love you, we will continue our lovely shared ride into 2008 and beyond!
Raia
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Once again our views mirror each other. I agree that life is a process of changing WHAT needs to be changed...WHEN it needs to be changed. With some awareness we all know when that time it. Oftentimes resolutions create a sense of being forced to do things before there is an inner readiness to do so and that is why resolutions fail.
I know you will always know what the best timing is for you..from the short time I have know you it appears that you have lived your whole life trusting your intuitive knowing.
The goals you have set for yourself in regard to your healing journey and family dynamics will work out and it will be fun to compare notes aboute where we all all this time next year. That is the joy of having friends and developing some history with them. Fun to look back and celebrate how far we've come! I appreciate that and trust we will be doing that...just as we have already started.
Luv ya!
Raia
2 people like this
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
28 Dec 07
I don't make New Year resolutions... because it would be a waste of time.
Resolutions require planning and motivation to achieve them. And a lot of discipline (never had any of that. laugh)
So to make a resolution... just because it is the New Year... is a recipee for failure... in my opinion only.
3 people like this
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
29 Dec 07
Happy Birthday to you and Happy New Year.
As for me... things will have to get better in 2008. I won't have it any other way. laugh
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@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
2 Jan 08
Thanks for the well wishes...and with the strong resonance of your intent I am sure that things will be better because you will not settle for anything less. Go for it!
Wishing you a year of positive outcomes...whatever you want them to be.
Raia
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
28 Dec 07
I no longer make New Year's resolutions, for several reasons.
1) Religiously my New Year doesn't start at the same time as the New Year most people celebrate. I celebrate on Dec 31/Jan 1 with my friends, but it's not the time I reflect about my past year and think about the next one. That's Oct 31/Nov 1, which is also when I do divination.
2) A New Year's resolution to me just seems to be an empty promise. I've seen many people make the same one every year, never keeping it. You know the people: every year is "I'm going to stop smoking" or "I'm going to lose weight"... every single year.
3) I have an honor code. I meditate regularly. I have plans and goals for my life. My plans and goals change as necessary depending on the things going on in my life. So what I wanted on Jan 1st might not be what I want in May, or in October... and rather than having a promise and breaking it, I'd rather be able to adapt without guilt or shame.
3 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Hi lecanis...always a pleasure to hear from you. When I am not here as much and a valued friend shows up for a discussion it is special to me. I appreciate your approach and tend to agree that many resolutions are not well thought out...and often not realistic.
Your approach is similar to mine...I do course corrections throughout the year. My life and everything in it is framed within the context of growing my soul and increasing spiritual understanding. There is no specific time line for me either...it is on-going in the minute by minute 'now-ness' of my experiential learning.
So another thoughtful response...but then that is who you are. Hope you, your hubby and son are all that much closer to your realizations this time next year.
Warm regards and light filled blessings,
Raia
3 people like this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
28 Dec 07
Hello dear perspective friend. Thanks very much for your new discussion. Well, sometimes the plans I make cannot be carried out because of my busy work and lack of perseverance. My excuse has always been like I am busy with my work and have not enough time for it. As a result, the plans that I wish to carry out are in vain.
I thank you very much for your example and ways about your resolutions. Thanks again for your useful information and discussion, dear friend.
3 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Ahhh how sweet of you to offer your appreciation for the new discussion. Thanks so much. I know I haven't been posting as many as I did when I first became a member and I miss chatting with you and other good friends here. In order to change that I hope to allocate a little more structured time on Mylot so I can keep the lines of communication open more. I am not sure whether you aware that I also have a blog where I share ideas there. If you are interested the address is: http://pohl-perspectives.blogspot.com
Your comments and feedback would be as welcome there as they are here.
Your additions to any topic are meaningful and I like your honest self-assessment about how you handle resolutions and their outworking. I think what you experience is akin to the most of us are. So you are not alone there!
Anyway, that is it for now I'll be signing off shortly but I do hope we will connect more in 2008 and beyond.
Take good care, enjoy the end of the year and the promise of what is hoped for but not yet seen in the coming year.
Warmest regards,
Raia
2 people like this
@adforme (2114)
•
28 Dec 07
Hey there Perspectives,
Great question. Normally, I do not make New year's resolutions per se; but I am always goal setting on a regular basis. This year I do have a new year's resolution and it involves my small business. I am looking to hire independent contractors and reach a certain amount in profits. I have been working on this for quite some time, mainly with trying to locate resources on how to get it started. That has been accomplished, and the new year is the time in which it will either grow or bomb. Having new years resolutions are not really silly. It is a time marker for some to begin or think about goals to set. I like your view on how resolutions are something that can be and are made year round. So, I guess I always have new years resolutions if I have goals; and I will always set and try to reach goals for the rest of my life, just as I will always have my successes and failures that I will always learn from. Happy New Year!
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Hi and thanks for your positive feedback about the question...and your response to it. From what you have posted here I think you have a similar approach to the idea behind them as mine.
To me goal-setting is different than a pie in the sky resolution that is often unrealistic because of where a person actually is versus where they THINK they are. From what you offered here it sounds as though you have done a lot of realistic planning and preparation and that leads me to believe your project will be a success.
So yes, we are all on a path of discovery and often learn as much from our setbacks as our successes. In my view there are never any failures only lessons to learn and when you learn something...how can it ever be perceived as a failure? In any case I sincerely wish you every success in your venture and a new year full of more positive outcomes.
Best regards,
Raia
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
2 Jan 08
You are welcome...I am sure we will chat again. I hope to be able to schedule more regular time to stay in touch with valued connections on Mylot. This is a wonderful community and I am sure you will enjoy it as much as all the regulars do and quickly become one yourself.
Once again may all your goal-setting/goal-getting plans for your business come to fruition.
All the best...
Raia
1 person likes this
@youdontsay (3497)
• United States
29 Dec 07
I used to make them - and break them. There is only one that I kept for a year and more - actually about 18 months I think.
I resolved to do one thing a month that I'd never done as an adult. It was a blast. I let my friends give me suggestions when I seemed out of ideas. I even remember some of them: roller skating; learned to fast-dance; went to a bar and danced; had a summer birthday party [my birthday is in the winter].
I used to resolve to lose weight - every year. Sometimes I even lost weight, just to gain it back again. So I quit resolving that one! :-)
My more usual New Years rituals is to transfer all the birthday reminders from the old year's calendar to the new calendar and reflect on all the other notations/reminders I'd noted on the calendar in the old year. Sometimes it reminds me to live a bit differently in the new year. And I like to take time at the beginning of the year to read through my old journal entries, looking for patterns and reminders of happy times, etc.
Mostly I am thankful to get through one day at a time without trying to plan out my future with resolutions.
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
2 Jan 08
Hi again...and what a lovely way to begin 2008...with a response from a valued friend I haven't heard from in awhile. Hope all is well with you and yours...things are going very well here with David and I.
From the sound of it you have a very sensible, workable approach to things. I value your more 'going with the flow' viewpoint. I am at a similar point in life. I remember reading somewhere the quotation..'people plan...and God laughs.' David and I have found that to be true at different points in our life. We still plan...but do our best not to become too heavily invested in outcomes. A Buddhist teaching that I try to live by is to constantly remind myself that they say..."All our suffering comes from our attachments." Materially, mentally, emotionally. I used to cause myself a lot of suffering over 'outcomes.' When I began to practice letting go and truly letting God I was...and am able to keep my focus on the present moment and let the past be what it was..and the future what it will be.
So good to share our outlooks and philosophy again...I always enjoy it immensely. It is my sincere wish for you and yours that 2008 will bring more all what you would like to see manifested in your life and that by this time next year more of your heart's desires will be fulfilled.
Warm and caring regards, your on-line pal...
Raia
1 person likes this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
4 Jan 08
Maybe one of my resolutions should be to respond to every response. I try but I'm afraid I fall short sometimes! I used to make all the usual resolutions but it seemed they'd be forgotten by the end of the first week so lately I've tried to simply be more realistic and easier to keep. This year I've resolved to be more organized both in my home and online, to start getting more exercise again since I've really gotten lazy I'm afraid and it shows and to really try this time to stop procrastinating. And if I don't stop to make it a point to do that first thing next year!
Annie
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
4 Jan 08
Hi Annie...
It is always fun to hear from you and this time is no different. You have a 'breezy' self-honest and very refreshing way of sharing who you are and what you think that I enjoy! So thank again for dropping by and adding what you are hoping for yourself in the coming year and beyond.
The response for every response idea is only here on my site. When I have time I periodically go back through discussions I have responded to and add a response if there are comments there...but that is VERY time consuming and probably not as feasible for most of us to acheive. However, I have noticed here that my commitment to responding to every response at Perspectives has brought members back and often the chats become really interesting. Sometimes they veer often into other directions and that is enjoyable too.
Anyway, I wish you all good things and all the best in your goal-setting/goal-getting plans. Be gentle with yourself though because in all our lives our growth process is usually combined with a three or four steps forward and a couple back...then forward again. As long as we keep on keeping on consistently over time with strong intentions we will get there!
Cheers!
Raia
1 person likes this
@remo999 (49)
• Canada
5 Jan 08
In my view the way many people approach new years resoltions is a colossal waste of time and to quote what Aussie said in his response they are a recipe for disaster and disappointment. For that reason I do not make new years resolutions but prefer to make lifestyle changes throughout the year on an as need basis.
@goddessglamourpuss (261)
•
28 Dec 07
I don't particularly make resolutions as generally it tends to be seen as making radical lifestyle changes such as giving up smoking or dieting - two things I don't need to do. I guess I would actually follow something along the lines of yourself by asessing what I particularly enjoyed and disliked about the previous year and try to improve on it the next. Generally if I have had a good year then I will aim to continue being positive into the next and if it has not been so hot then I will endeavour to do positive things to make my situation better. I suppose I do set myself goals but they are something I bear in mind throughout the year and try and act upon whenever possible as I rather view resolutions as quite rigid and something that becomes more of a chore or labour therefore sowing the seeds for failure as soon as it is planted.
3 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Hello glddessglamourpuss...good to hear from you again. I miss chatting with valued friends when I am not here as much. Consequently I am delighted when a discussion grabs the attention of a valued on-line friend and I have a brief moment to share ideas again.
Anyhow, I appreciate your views and seem to approach things in a similar way. Your view about something being rigid is so true. When we try to force things it often sets a counter-balance effect and we end up resisting rather than flowing towards the goal. Then as many of us find what we resist...persists and we're back to square one.
I appreciate your views and your input. May the coming year have more positive outcomes...with or without resolutions.
Best regards,
Raia
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