Our grown up children
By slickcut
@slickcut (8141)
United States
December 28, 2007 4:13pm CST
I have five children all grown up.I have never butted into their affairs, i have only told them things when they have asked me, never any other times...I have two sons that are angry with me for one reason or another , and i have no clue as to why...The other tree are fine, they are 2 daughters and one son..they told me not to pay any attention to them, but why do kids do this???I do not have a clue as to why.At christmas neither one contacted me, or at mothers day either..these things hurt a Mom...Just because the other three told me they were stupid does not help because i do not understand.I raised everyone of them, never left them, took care of them and they act this way.They seem to have issues, don't tell me to ask them because they say nothing but they are not telling the truth..My three children that are ok says to me they don;t get along with these two either..I would never treat my mother this way, and trust me she was very mouthy with me but i just did not take it serious and just over looked her,we could bicker back and forth and be talking the next minute.Have your children ever acted this way? How long did they stay puffed? and do you know what you did to make them act this way?I find no reason whatsoever to be puffed at your own mother...Any suggestions? They will be appreciated..thanks
4 people like this
5 responses
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
28 Dec 07
I have 3 "adult" (using the word mildly) kids....2 girls and a boy. At different times I've been through these things with each of them and usually have at least one on "my side". I usually knew why they weren't talking to me and believe me it was never because of anything I did. They always seem to have issues don't they and don't want to tell us about them so we just sit here and worry. I raised my kids by myself with no help from their father and it wasn't easy. It wasn't until they were grown up that they realized what a job I had doing it. My oldest daughter and I didn't speak for over 2 years one time and it was over something my "mouthy" mother said to her....not even something I said or did. Of course we see no reason for us to be treated this way because we were brought up in a much different world weren't we? There isn't much you can do except to just be there for your kids when they need you.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
29 Dec 07
yeah i know we were brought up different.I could never go 2 years without speaking to my Mother..Our kids can hear something and instead of asking us if we said it ,they start pouting...One of these days, even though you and your daughter are friends now, she will suffer for the 2 years she did not speak, nothing can change that..I can see you had a hard time and went through a lot raising your children..Its because we would never do that to our mothers and we often wonder how they can..I am happy you and your daughter are now on good terms, but i know you were very hurt during that two years...I suppose you are right we just have to let it go until they come around....
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
29 Dec 07
I wish I had the answer to this one - I have 4 children ages 31 to 16 and this year it has seemed that all of them are upset with Mom for some reason or another. When this happens although it hurts I normally just ignore it openly and eventually it passes. My oldest is the most difficult - we've gone as much as a year without talking but he does eventually come around and when he does it's like nothing happened at all.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
29 Dec 07
well the person right above you said something about showing favorites , thats not the case at all, in fact the ones that are puffed right now has been the ones that i have had to take care of the most, they were dependent on me..I think kids just get mad over nothing because some of my answers has stated that their children do not even talk to them..I am getting to the point to just not care anymore,but let me do one thing and they really try to control me, i have never done that to them...Sometimes i wonder why i had children Lol
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
29 Dec 07
You may think that you have not been partial to your children. But it is definitely a case of their perceiving you to have favoured other children. When they were young and dependent, they would have always mentally been seeking your approval. Whether you gave it or not is known only to you and them. Secondly, you may have thrust some of your expectations on them when they were amenable. This would also have a hidden impact on their attitude.
@southernpixie (741)
• United States
28 Dec 07
I do get angry with my mom, but I don't ever stay mad for long. I'm sorry that your son's are treating you that way. Maybe they are mad because you were right about something and they don't want to admit it. I can be like that, I hate to be wrong lol.
Just let them know that you love them and that the door is always open and just leave it at that. You don't have to let them keep treating you badly. I hope that everything works out for you!
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
29 Dec 07
well i think it has a lot to do with my oldest son, he has had issues for a long time, then the son that is pouting now is living right down from # one son so he might be picking up an attitude from him.I know that when i saw him last he hugged me was happy and things were great, then he calls and bawls me out and talks ugly to me, and could not tell me why..He is not calling now so i know he is still mad but i cannot figure about what..Thank you , i am sure sooner or later he will come around when he needs something...I would never refuse to talk to my children..
@NancyNY (11)
• United States
1 Jan 08
I, like many who responded would never treat my parents like that. Have I ever been mad at them, of course. As I get older I realize how quickly a loved one can be taken from you, that has taught me to treat each day as it could be my last. People also need to live with the philosphy of "don't sweat the small stuff" and most family tiffs are small stuff in the grant scheme of things. I don't have any advise for you or answers to why they are acting this way, but continue doing what you know to be right. Hopefully your children will not have to learn a painful lesson before they find their way back to you. Most parents do the best they can when raising their kids, then turn them loose and hope all they did was enough. I think that is what you did. I am sorry you feel so hurt and hope things turn out good in the end.
