I'm feeling really bad and don't know what to do
By dfinster
@dfinster (3528)
United States
December 28, 2007 11:40pm CST
As some of you know, I suffer from pretty bad depression. Iwent on an antidepressant about a year ago and it seemed like my life was turning around finally. Once the antidepressant started working I enrolled in college and worked my butt of and had an "A" average. When I signed up for my last quarter of classes I found out that I had a bill for $1,000 that had to be by the end of Dec. in order for me to continue to attend. My husband and I talked about this in July and he told me not to worry because he would have the money for it and I should just concentrate on school which I did. Now the end of the month is here and he didn't pay it so I can't continue and all my hard work feels like it was wasted and he's not too concerned about how this is affecting me at all. He doesn't listen at all when I try to talk to him and tell him how hopeless I feel now that I don't have anything to work for. I've been trying to get another job now that I won't be in school and it's impossible because he won't let me use the car to go to interviews or even go to work if I do get a job. He says the jobs don't pay enough for him to drive the truck to work because the gas is so expensive. Then today I got an offer for a medical transcriptionist job that pays really well and I could do it at home so I wouldn't need the car. The problem is that I need $200 to pay for the dictation software to download onto my computer so that I can here what the dr. is dictating. I had to turn the job down because I couldn't pay for the software and he blamed me for that too. I guess I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so useless and hopeless and my depression is starting to get so bad that I can barely force myself out of bed in the morning. Sorry for putting something so depressing on here but I really needed to talk and hope someone has some advice or can tell me about a similiar situation they went through and how they got through it because I really need that right now. Thanks~D
1 person likes this
8 responses
@aquajules4 (583)
•
31 Dec 07
I'm really sorry to hear your feeling sad and lost. I was like that a few weeks ago, i was drinking heavy, i was depressed. But the responses i had on here is amazing and that helped me loads. I was also out of work then out of the blue i got offered a job from a job agency that i had registered with ages ago and forgotton about, although i'm only temping at the moment. I'm doing work i've never done before and it's abuzz to think i can actually do this. Just hope the job goes permanent.
Can i ask do you have any good friends or family that you could go and stay with for a few days? it might do you and your BF good. I think he is taking you for granted and this is not helping you confidence. If you have some time to yourself like going for a nice walk etc. seeing all the nature around is really uplifting. Just to recommend one more thing, i'm not really religious but i love the poem footprints in the sand, it always makes me feel better and that i'm not on my own.
All the best for 2008 and we are all here if you need to talk some more.
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
3 Jan 08
Thanks for your comments Aqua, they really made me feel better. I hope your new job goes well for you. I'll keep my fingers crossed and say a prayer. My bff does know about this but I don't like to constantly put everything on her as she has enough on her plate as well. Again, thank you and hope to hear from you soon.
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
29 Dec 07
I am so very sorry hun. My bestest advice is to keep saying your prayers, and keep the faith. Talking about your problems here on mylot is good too. There are so many terrific caring people here. Send out a prayer request right here on mylot. Start a discussion about it. I did when I needed to, it helped me so much. My mom was going thru some scary health issues. It felt so good and comforting to have my friends praying for me and my mom, things worked out good. I just said a prayer for you, take care I hope things work out for the best for you.
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
3 Jan 08
Polly, it's so good to hear from you again it's been a very ling time since I've heard from you. Thank you so much for your prayers. That's why I put this out there. It's friends like you here that make a person feel hopeful! God bless, and thank you for your prayers and support.
@hopejordan (3561)
• Australia
29 Dec 07
hi there dfinster
i have been on zolft for 5 years now i know what you mean but you need to chat with your doctor he is the only one to help you unless you turn to jesus i am glad i did i am a different person now but i still have depression but jesus will help e througth it i hope you can find the answer i know we are suffering but jesus suffered too on that cross sorry if i am preaching to you but its true so i hope you can find what your looking for and hopefully your software can be paid for take care happy postings and happy new year for 2008
@OnLineTherapy (29)
• Israel
29 Dec 07
Hi Dffinster! (Is that your real name?! very original!) Now in all seriousness: You probably fell "painted into a corner" and it is not entirely your fault. Let's try to turn your big problem into smaller ones - and to attack them one at a time, (like the English mother told her son before he went to war: "Kill one Turk, then rest before you kill another")
There is a lot of freeware that you can use for hearing and taking online dictations, (e.g: Skype, Yahoo Chat, ICQ etc.) and they work great - and won't cost you a red cent!
If the job is still open - try out - it could not be lost after all!
If that job opening is closed - then that is the misfortune not of you - but of your prospective employer!!!
Remember: YOU are #1!!! You are a winner!!
Your uni-education: The credits that you earned are yours'!! You should be able to use them when you return to study.
I don't know what the options are where you live - but give me more details and we will figure something out - and you can do it on your own - and gain the respect and admiration of your hubby as well!
Need help on-line: feel free to visit my online office http://www.kasamba.com/david-ben-gershon or my site http://www.davidben-gershon.bravehost.com
1 person likes this
@luanakent (794)
• Brazil
31 Dec 07
hi
well..i think you have no reason to feel useless.
Thousands of people are without jobs one time in life.
I found her husband a little discouraged..what not to say that he is not interested in you.
Life sometimes discouraged yes..but can not leave us down.
Marriage is something too important to leave 200 dolares weaken theirs union.
chat with herhusband explaining to him that marriage is sacred and is the union of 2 people in 1.
In bible says.that man is unite with his wife and will be one flesh....Means that you must together seek the common good.
If the couple has a car.. the car is the two!
If you walk together reach somewhere.
The prosperity is a gift of God. I think you two should get closer to God a little more.
God has many bless for us and properity is one of them.
Have faith and relax!!!
Trust because the Lord makes us relax in tranquil waters.
befor anything..when an opportunity for employment..
ask to Lord is that even though He is reserved for you.
Doing so you have prosperity.
Lookthis site..: www.ongrace.com
kisses.......................LuanaKent
1 person likes this
@maria560 (39)
• United States
9 Jan 08
my honest advice is....you cant let your husband control your life b/c it sounds like thats what he's doing. when your married your money is shared and you have just as much say in it as he does, so if you need money for school, then go to the bank and pay it yourself. especially if you already talked to him about it. and you also have just as much of a right to use the car as you please. you have to take control of your own life and if you want to do something, make it happen, dont rely on other people. also if i were you, i would do what my mom did, my dad makes a lot of money but he likes to have control of it, so my mom set-up her own bank account with just her name on it and she puts her paychecks in it and its her money to spend however she wants....im not necessarily telling you to do that but i thought it was a good idea. its good to have your autonomy. but you should always follow your dreams and do anything to make them reality
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
30 Dec 07
Goodness! It does not appear that your husband is really allowing you to grow does it? Sometimes we have to make sacrifices in order to reach where we wish to be; and if your husband does not support your desire to contribute to your and ultimately his life then you unfortunately have an issue on your hands..... In terms of depression; I can state from experience that it is vital to address this area of your life immediately. The worst thing that can happen in relation to depression is to one day convince yourself that this is just the way things are; and to have these feelings become as regular to you as breathing. Getting back to your husband; in my opinion; the ideal scenario is to try to motivate yourself enough to find a role or a goal in life that is as least dependent on is inputs as possible. You are the master of your own destiny in this sense and if he is unable to support you in these decisions or provide positive reinforcement then try to remove this influence from your decision making processes. Seek advice on the depression immediately; cost will not be an issue on this front as their are a multitude of free services that can help you. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You may either accept defeat; or you may step up and continue to move forward. The first step is seeking to fix the depression and then learning to independently make decisions that are in your best interests. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
10 Oct 10
Well, i would say worriness is biggest depression and being obese or over weight gives more tiresome to health and worrying about this cause more depression
