What's your opinion on people who 'live in sin'?
By dorypanda
@dorypanda (1601)
13 responses
@Raissa1967 (801)
• Netherlands
29 Oct 06
What's new about that? I don't think that's a sin.
3 people like this
@dorypanda (1601)
•
29 Oct 06
There's nowt new about that, and no, I dont' think it is either.
2 people like this
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
29 Oct 06
My boyfriend and I have been together for 14 years...and we are not married. It does bother me ...because I don't like it. However..we really can't afford a wedding right now...When I bring it up..he tells me we are married under the eyes of the law...which means we are common-law. However...to me it is not the same....
3 people like this
@dorypanda (1601)
•
29 Oct 06
14 years, that's the same as me! :)
I do understand how you both feel, at one point I decided that we really should get married, but we couldn't afford it, I've just given up on that idea now.
2 people like this
@nannacroc (4049)
•
29 Oct 06
That's a very old fashioned phrase. If two people love each other it doesn't matter if they're married or not they should be together in the way that makes them happy.
Some people spend money they can't afford on a big wedding then stay together for only a few years.
Yours is a very happy family and that's what is important.
2 people like this
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
29 Oct 06
Nannacroc is a very wise and enlightend mom! I completely agree that what matters is that people should be happy together. If marriage is perceived as putting shackles on the relationship (which it was not primarily intended to do, except for protection against the problems that come with what was bound to be a bad relationship in the first place), then by all means have an agreement which suits you better.
2 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8770)
• United Kingdom
29 Oct 06
I believe that marriage is an institution and I don't want to live in an institution. But seriously, I don't see a problem, it's accepted now. Marriage is mostly outdated or religious. If you aren't anything to do with a religion which believes in having to have a piece of paper to prove you love each other then why should you?
That's all it is, it is getting a bunch of people together for a couple of hours to say, hey look, we're going to stay together. Well, they might not anyway but you don't need all that to be prepared to stay with someone. You can pledge to be with someone without everyone else having to watch you sign a book.
2 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8770)
• United Kingdom
29 Oct 06
Yes, things are the same with my partner. WE have been engaged for 4 years but could never afford to get married. I'm not too bothered about it but I think he would like to if we could.
2 people like this
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
29 Oct 06
I'm not sure how legal marriage is any more of an institution than two people agreeing informally to live together as a family. The point about a legal marriage is that it protects the people who undertake it from being left unsupported if they separate. It is much harder to dissolve a marriage than it is to dissolve a business partnership. I am not saying that is a good thing, necessarily!I suppose the point is - do you want to make a lifelong committment or do you want to make an often unspoken day-to-day committment?I am in the position that I made that lifelong committment some 35 years ago and have only recently realised that I probably made it under a misapprehension, or at least whilst not in full possession of the facts (but that is another story). Mind you, I don't see how anyone getting married at an age that most people do can ever be 'in full possession of the facts'!
1 person likes this
@dorypanda (1601)
•
29 Oct 06
Well, I think it is, it's just an expression some people use though, like 'living over the brush'. Hey, I've missed out on a party! :( I need to get married, or just have a party, hmm, yup, I'll just have a party, it's cheaper. :)
2 people like this
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
30 Oct 06
There is NO problem learning to live together before getting married. By living together first you get to learn what eachother is like behind closed doors. you get to understand eachother on a whole new level. My husband and I lived together before getting married, and I am glad we did. I wouldent change anything. My cousin is living with her boyfriend and I think it is great. What if every one just got married and then moved in together. 1 problem could be that the divorce reat might go up because people find out that the person they married is not the same person they dated. By living together you get to see how the person really is and then you can decide if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life.
2 people like this
@dorypanda (1601)
•
30 Oct 06
Yes, that's very true, I know a couple of people who wouldn't have married their husbands if they'd lived with them first. I think living together is a good idea, even if someone does believe in marriage, then living together (but maybe in seperate rooms) is a good relationship tester.
1 person likes this
@bulwark1511 (179)
• United States
29 Oct 06
I will advise them to go and get married to each other and if they are not willing to get married to each other they should quit sinning and ask God for forgiveness
@dorypanda (1601)
•
29 Oct 06
But what if they aren't religious and are quite happy to live that way?
2 people like this
@wilfred_itte (978)
• India
30 Oct 06
still their is life to live.hence repent in that period and change u'r lifestyle
@dorypanda (1601)
•
30 Oct 06
No, I don't want to, I like living the way I do, thank you.
1 person likes this
@metalworkz (175)
• India
30 Oct 06
if ppl live together thn they can understand each other properly.
2 people like this
@mathop (8)
• Canada
30 Oct 06
I know people who have lived together for over 25 years without saying "I do" legally and are very happy and very much in love. I have also known people who lived together for ten years got married and three years later divorced. I believe the decision whether to marry or live together should be up to the two people involved. If they are comfortable and happy living together and both are in agreement that this is what they want, than who are we to say that they are wrong. Some people are happy married while others are happy to live together. Life is to short to worry about what is right, being married or living together.
2 people like this
@cplpacesgirl (754)
• United States
30 Oct 06
Doesn't bother me! I'm moving in with my fiance before we get married.
2 people like this
