My marriage may be over....

Does he need to separate from wife to find one's self?? Tell him that there is no need for such thing. Talk to him boldly. Let him speak out what he wants from you. This is definitely not the way one should carve his/ her life. Wife/ Husband is there only to help each other in finding one's own self and ultimately find "themselves". Thats what marriage is for.

I think he is just giving you excuses about wanting to find himself and his feelings being bottled up and such.Sounds like a lot of malarky.Sounds like some excuses I've heard before.I think he found someone else.Show him the door and deal with it.The sooner the better so you can get on with your life.

"Find Myself" What the hell does that mean, my ex-wife said the same thing when i found out she had been cheating on me for the past 3 yrs. She said she wanted to separate and "find Herself". Well, we had no kids THANKFULLY, and we are now divorced. But it was best for me, i am now with a wonderful woman, and am very happy. I am not saying this is best for you, but i understand ur confusion on your husband wanting to find himself. I wish you the best in this situation.

Has he told you what he the things he has keep bottled up. dose he have his kids or dose his x have them I know that he said that he is not seeing anyone else and you believe him. but do you believe him because you don't what to think that he could be seeing any one. how did his first marriage end? dose he stay out all the time is he home when he should be look at the way he acts for exsample if he goes out with out you with friends or don't want to have??? or wants it more than he use to. my aunt went though this and she followed him one night and find what she need to know. just don't let him make you out to be a sucker if he dose move out make sure he helps with the bills and that he gives you his new address and phone # so if the kids need any thing you can reach him. I have been married for 30 years my husband told me one day that he should leave i told him that was what he wanted then go he didn't I know he loves me but we have had a lot of money problems. and we are rising 3 grandkids it is a lot to take in hope this helps

In a situation like that, I think the worst thing is putting pressure on the other one. Although it works sometimes, it's only for the short term and it doesn't lead to a healthy relationship. The best thing is, like you said, letting him figure out what he wants. But make sure he knows how you feel about it.

It sounds to me like your husband and mine must have been twins or something.Right now i am going through the same ordeal. How can a man find himself?What are they lost or something? I am thinking mine has a new love interest and it sounds like yours might too. I would leave him alone and maybe if he sees that you are not going to be begging him to stay or anything then he may come around to his senses.It sounds to me as you are a good wife so hats off to you.It will be his lost. If he leaves then just remember you did nothing wrong and you will be better off if he never wanted to be there anyway. Keep in m ind that ones mans garbage is another mans treasure and one day you will find the right man who will never need to "find himself".

I have to say all this "finding myself" stuff drives me mad. It's absolute garbage - I mean have you "found yourself"?? I certainly haven't, I wouldn't even know where to start looking! Assuming he is around the same age as you are this is not some confused kid we're talking about, this is a grown man with responsibilities! Ok, this is what I think and please feel free to disregard it all. Let him move out and you move on with your own life. Make sure he is meeting his obligations as far as supporting the child you have together goes but don't sit around waiting for him to come back or "find himself" or whatever. Forget about him deciding what he wants - why should he be the one that makes the decisions? What do YOU want? Personally I would be inclined to consider the relationship finished. I'm saying that from the perspective of someone who has been in your situation. I didn't handle it the way I've advised you to do, I sat around waiting for him to make up his mind. So instead of thinking about and planning my own future I let him mess with my head for months and guess what - the relationship ended shortly afterwards anyway. Anyway - mini-rant over now. I hope whatever you decide to do it works out well for you and your children in the future.

Hmm its very sad to hear this news. A breaking relationship is always a bad news and pain. It seems you have tried a lot to make this relationship work. But it seems it has not worked that much. I believe all will be ok and soon you get someone who cares for you.

I am sorry to hear it. Why he marries you and then leaves you just after three years. For me, it is too early for him to feel that way for you. Why does he said he is not sure? Is it because he found another girl? Or he is just a man who loves woman for a short time. My advice to you is to be strong and brave. Face the fact about him leaving soon. You can have a brighter future without having him in your life. Just don't be too much affected with him. Life must go on.

First off let me say I'm sorry that you are in this situation. Second off let me say that maybe you and your husband need to sit down and talk about the things that he has kept bottled up. also maybe you both should see a marriage counselor if you both want this relationship. I also think it might be beneficial if your husband sees a therapist for his bottling issues. I know that marriage is hard and that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't . Now is the time you both have to be honest with eachother . Either he's truly lost or just saying it but I'll say to you give him some ground rules on this don't let him say I need to find myself and then have him walk all over you .. You shouldn't have to be in limbo .. It's very simple you either love the person or you don't ...You either want to be with the person or you don't. Let him know what you expect if you two go through a seperation set a time limit that he has to find himself and so on. I'm sorry that after 3 yrs this has happened like I said earlier maybe get into counsling together and individual therapy for both. I wish you luck.

Hi,there! I think it's better to give each other some space to think carefully about the relationship.Don't give any pressure to the other one as well as yourself.It's common that sometimes we lost ourselves in certain things especially the relationship thing or marriage.So calming down and clearing thoughts are very necessary and helpful.I just hope once both of you know exactly what you want and how would you decide,you can deal with the thing properly.Hopefully you guys will get the best result for both of you:) Don't be too worried and have a nice day! Best regards^_^

micburns,sorry to hear of your marriage problems I myself have been divorced twice and the wanting to find his self is a cop out, you will be alright with out him. If you really want your marriage to work maybe you should suggest marriage counseling but he would have to be willing to work at it too,anyhow good luck and if you do get divorced that don't mean your life is over and who knows it maybe better, mine is. Have a great day!

Sorry to hear that,Actually , you could do nothing when love has gone ,but , maybe you can find out what made him feel that he have lost himself and correct it .

First thing make yourself confident on the fact that you can live without him..B'coz when you show someone that you cant live without them they tend to take undue advantage..I know you love him but even he needs to reciprocate the feelings..Talk to him once more and ask if there is anything else other than this..try to be friends...make him feel comfortable to share things with you..Let him know that you want this relationship to continue but if he doesnt wish to then you wont creat any problems..give it some time and see his reaction..be strong and dont loose faith..whatever happens will be good for you..take care and god bless

He sounds like an overly self absorbed person. How awful to say such a thing to you! The "move out and find himself" statement is an excuse, IMO. I would strongly suspect he is trying to decide if it is you and the children, or his new woman that he wants to be with the most. I don't mean to upset you, but people who care at all about their marriage or partner choose counseling and communication, not seperation for "finding themselves." These kind of men - and woman - really annoy me as they only think of themselves and their needs. Not sure if he still loves you? Kick his lame self to the curb, do everything in your power to protect your financial assets, and grow from the process. It is NOT you dear.. it is your husband that has the character flaw. Best of luck!!!