a relationship with a partner who has kids!!!

Exactly , guys come and go your kids are always there and you have to be there for them and to protect them .. Like I said my kids always come before anyone. I was literally shocked when I read an answer to my friends blog where this chick thought this guy should put her before his kids. I thought wow this woman has gull ... But to each their own I guess I just know no matter what the person I'm with comes in 6th or 7th depending on my mood. My five kids come first and then him or me depending on how i feel thats how i came up with sixth or seventh.

I know that feeling- I wish I would have seen that discussion, I would have jumped all over it.

Actually I wrote that before I saw it and I called you a selfish b*tch for expecting to your husband to put your first...get it right and go away- noone was talking to you anyway

I totaly agree with you Cyn I was just waiting for you to say you were going to hit them with a fying pan..LOL... thank you for responding you always seem to know me. scary isn't it.

What's scary is that you are so much like me that we end up creating discussions from each others posts. However what I want to know is why when you post a discussion off of something I wrote you get a dozen people being nice to you and I am usually attacked by some moron who doesn't read more than the title :)

hmmmm,Since we're so much alike are you sure we're not sisters.!!ROTFLMAO. In reality I know we're not because I'm my dad's only child. I have no idea why the morons attack you, they should know by now they're in for a keyboard spanking when you respond..LOL. But I guess it's truly just that I have been having all the luck since I'm no longer being burned at the stake .. Thanks for the save there. have a nice one.

I know a guy who thought like that but still went ahead and dated a woman who had 2 kids...well, it turns out that he actually got to like the kids and had a wonderful time with them (he actually made the effort to understand the kids after he said he wanted to come first in their mother's life) and is now married to the same woman and had a child together too. I feel that some men are scared of the responsibility or probably don't understand that just because the kids come first in the woman's life, it doesn't necessarily mean that she will not make an effort to make the relationship work and they assume that she will be all consumed by the responsibility of taking care of the kids. But on the other hand, some people are just selfish and expect to be the most important person in the relationship. And that's okay as long as they find someone who thinks on similar lines.

Sviswan, I couldn't of said it better myself. Thank you for your insight and response.

Sviswan, I agree that a problem would arise if someone who didn't want kids dated a guy with kids and thought they were going to come first because any parent worth their grain of salt would make sure that their kids come first. Thank you for your response and have a nice day.

I'm aware of that, which is why i said children come first. Nor did I say anything about right or wrong, simply explained the point of view.

My discussion was based on a thread that i saw I didn't mention anyone and didn't say do you think this person is wrong I have never beratted anyone for their decision. If you read the question it says, Do you tihnk that it's fair for someone to put a person they're dating before their kids? That is the question not wether or not this person is wrong. This question is about if they would think it's fair for them to do it. I've never attacked or said anything negatively about someone not wanting to date a man with kids. That is that persons decision. This was just a thought from a good discussion.

thank you for your response .. Yes it's not always an easy relationship if you're dating someone with kids but the rewards so outweigh the adversities that you face. I think sometimes men are so scared of the responsibility that they don't even attempt to try the relationship. but your do have a point some men don't want to end up being a father figure to a child that is not theirs. But I think what men forget is when you first start dating a woman with kids Her Kids Come first, but that doesn't mean that the guy she's dating is automatically responsible for those kids. In some way some guys thinks that. They automatically think if they date you they become a father in no way shape or form do they. They are the womans child and that's it maybe down the line say a coulple years maybe longer but by then if your still in the relationship you have then jumped over that bridge. But I think most guys off the bat think they gain a responsibility of a kid by dating the parent ... Not true. I never let my kids meet a guy that I was dating if it wasn't going towards a committed relationship that way the kids didn't get attached to the guy. For example the guy I'm with now my kids didn't meet until we were dating for a month or so and he knew I had kids and he knew if the relationship was to go anywhere then he would eventually have to meet my kids. I intergrated him into meeting my kids over 3 month and they only saw him on weekends at that time I had three kids, so I arranged one sat me him and katie would go somewhere so she had one on one time with him and so on and so forth I did this with him and each of my kids. It's now six yrs later and we're still together and I have added two more kids to the mix and he still wants to adopt my other three if the father would just reliquish his rights. It not like the kids see their biological father. The only dad they know is my other half. So I think if a guy doesn't let the fact that a woman has kids overwhelm him then they have a shot But he must relize that the kids come first and him after that. thankyou for your response and have a nice one.

here's the thing if you get into a relationship with a person who has kids it's up to both of you to let the kids know that the incoming person is not taking the place of the other parent but that they still have to respect that person. It's all about good communication with everyone.

Yep the kids go first. But just because I have kids and if say I was single agian I began to date and it got serious and we moved in and were serious and say we've been together for some time and planned on getting married and having a kid. That childs birth wouldn't be anyless special than my other childrens birth... Each child is a precious gift and an individual life deserving of indvidual specialness for their arrival. I guess what I'm saying is that I wouldn't view the birth any less special than my firsts. thank you for your perspective I'll keep that in mind.

Yes I agree 100% the kids come first.My kids always come first. But no matter if you date someone with kids if you truly like and care for the person who has kids and the ex is being lets say difficult you can always work around and through it by getting to know the ex. I know that doesn't always seem like a great idea but sometimes it does ease the tension. But no matter what your kids come first.

exactly, once you have kids it's no longer about you it about them ... what I don't understand is why someone would want you to put them before your own flesh and blood to me that person is selfish and uncaring. I have alway put my flesh and blood first .. I am there to protect and save them from the world ... No one comes before my children not even me.

Thank you I couldn't agree more.