conflicting parenting opinions

its like he is just enjoying the superiority. you have to take all the care for the children and he just is there to blame you.Just have a talk calmly with him and let him know that you are not the only one who is going to do all still take the blame. he should take some responsibility as well.

I'm sorry to hear that you have to deal with your husband in that way, but HE needs to take some responsibility too. He can't expect you to know what he wants if he doesn't communicate WITH you about it. I believe you should have a talk with your husband and discuss these issues about the responsibility and handling of HIS children. Then after you both have worked it all out, you both should have a meeting with the kids and let them know what decisions you both have made. I am glad to see that you are a step-parent who takes an active interest in your husbands kids life because not everyone does. I wish you the best of luck and may God Bless you~!!

Being a stepparent is allways harder, you come into an existing family and your role in the family isn't allways clear. It can help to sit down with the whole family and talk those things over. What do we expect from each other? How do we see each other and are the things we want from each other realistic? Also, I think you should sit down with your husband. These are his kids and so he needs to put some effort in their upgrowing, he owes that to them and to you. If he wants no interference in their upgrowing, why are they living there in the first place? If he thinks there are certain rules that have to be changed, you need to talk about that. He can't just react off on you when he's angry, reading your message it sounds like you are trying very hard to keep everyone happy. He should appreciate all your are doing to make this family work. I hope this helps you out a bit. Sincerely, Yolanda

I'm goin' through a similar situation with my husband. I have a 8 year old stepdaughter. She lives with us a well as my two girls. Well, he doesn't want me to handle everything all the time, but he does the same thing. Like whenever he gets upset with me he says things that he think will make me feel bad, but they don't. I jus' learned to brush my shoulders off and ignore him. Honestly, no matter what he says I know that if I wasn't handling her in the way that I do her an my kids would be alot worse off than they are now. I feel at times like giving up, but I just stop and take a breather and realize that hey they are kids and they are only human. Just tell him how it makes you feel when he criticizes the way that you handle the children and that if he doesn't like it then he should do it the way that he wants it to be done.

Hello and welcome to Mylot. A very God Topic. I have watched Dr Phil many times. And many times he says that a stepparent are not to take over the parenting work. The kids already have parents who are suppose to deal with them. Of course, as you are an adult and are going to be in the children's life you can be a stepmother, however leaving all the parenting to you alone is not a god thing for the children. Their father are their father and should be interested and be the guideline with your help. Not the other way around. Ma bee you should tell him that and make him understand that he can not leave everything to you. God luck and happy new year

Well when he tells you that you are not handling things correctly, then tell him from now on he is to share in the responsabilites of raising the children. You can handle the little issues since you are there most of the time, but give him a daily update on anything that might be a concern to you. Ask for his imput on how you can both deal with this as a parenting couple. Keep the lines of communication open with him about the children with daily updates on how the day went when he was not around. This way everything will not fall on you alone, and he cannot blame you for not handling things right if he has a hand in it also.

I know that must be difficult. I know it's different but I have two kids of my own and my partner (father of my youngest child) expects me to deal with everything to do with them without any help from him. These are my own kids so obviously I willingly look after them and everything but I don't see why he shouldn't help. As for your situation, it sounds like your partner is taking advantage and taking you for granted which is bad enough with your own kids but when they are not even yours, he should be all the more grateful. The only thing you can do is to put your foot down. If something goes wrong and he tries to blame you, there are two possible responses which I think could make him realise how much you have taken on. One would be to tell him that if you're doing such a bad job then maybe he should take over and try to do better. The other would be to tell him you take the blame for whatever the kids have done because you have brought them up by yourself. It might not have to come to that though. If you can talk to your partner and explain to him how you feel, it might be worth it because he may not even realise what he's expecting of you. I mean, if the kids mum was always the one to look after them before, he might not even know what to do and possibly doesn't know how much you have taken on because he's never really had to do anything. I know my partner would have a huge shock if I left him with the kids for more than a couple of hours because he thinks that, as long as he is in the same room, then he's looking after them even if he's engrossed in a computer game with his headphones on and couldn't possibly be paying any attention!

Often conflict between parents and children arises.The main cause of these conflicts is the generation gap.One way to resolve these conflicts is that the children should consider their parents suggestions very carefully as they think for the benifit of their children and on the other hand the parents should also consider the interests and viiew points of their children.