How do you feel when your love once tell you how to do things?
By anetteh
@anetteh (3590)
Sweden
December 31, 2007 4:26am CST
OK, I am divorced, however There are some things I can not forget from my marriage. My ex working as a head nurse and are leading his co workers. Some times I could notice that he had his leading way at home to.
I remember one time when I was the one to cook the dinner for the family. My ex stand behind me while I was cutting sausages, he started to tell me how to cut the sausages and said that you can not do it like I was doing.
Well, I said - as you see it is working fine for me. When he still was disturbing me I took the hole thing and put it in the trash and said...- ok if you are not Ok with how I do things, you can do it your self.
This was the last time I ever spent in the kitchen or made dinner as long as we were married. And other things to that he did not like me doing the way he wanted it to be done....I figured that if he did not like the things I did it he could do it himself.
The last year of our marriage he always wondered why he had to do everything him self...I did remind him of this time....he had forgot about it.....and said, well that is a long time ago...but what about now....I said....you do know I am consistent right....I said I never will and I never did.
I must point out this was not the reason why we got divorced, the reason of our divorce was that he met and are living as a homosexual today and live with a man since five years back and we are the bests friend.
4 responses
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
27 Jan 08
Hi, thank you for responding, I am glad that you do not always do as she tell you. We all have our habits, and I think it is for some reason they might started to love us in the first place, so I feel there is no reason for changing our doing´s as long it is right, or at least the result of doing thing getting the same result as it should have been if she did it.
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
31 Dec 07
My! My!@ that was very harsh to him, sometimes we carry our work habits home and the only thing required is understanding-If I were you, i would have given him a bit of understanding because learning is a continuous process, you may know something another way, he may do so in another way, learning his way is probably not a crime, him learning your way is also not bad, I think, your reaction was already smacking of bad times between you two-I guess his homosexual behaviour had aleady made him a completely tasteless hubby, i possibly would have done excactly what you did, imagining that you beloved hubby is sharing you up with another man as a lover is completely un acceptable disheartening! Here divorce becomes the only way to go!
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
31 Dec 07
Well, the thing was. we do cook dinner different ways. He tried to implement his grandmothers way to me. And I do not like doing things the way others do, of course if I do things wrong I am all for it, however we do things i different ways and still get the same results, right. I do not like when someone tells me I do wrong, when I know I do not we just simply do the same thing different, but get the same results....is that wrong?..no not in my book.
I was trying to point it out that we sometimes try to change people doing the ways you want...in a selfish way...that is wrong in my book. It´s like when your kids are doing something and get a god result from it, you do not tell them to do it YOUR way, right...that would give you bad self confidence as a kid and will go with you for a long time and perhaps for the rest of their life.
I guess my ex sometimes acted like I was a child, I just used my best weapon, my consistence. He did actually understood when we talked about sometimes and agreed that his way was not always the best way to do things. And we actually was god friends during our marriage. To do the household work lied in his personality of being a homosexual, he was/are more female than I ever will be.
@urbandekay (18278)
•
31 Dec 07
And do you draw any conclusion from these two, apparently, unrelated facets of his personality?
all the best urban
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
31 Dec 07
Yes, Of course. I did. I always new something did not was OK in our relationship however, we have two kids and they are always comes first to me. We had apretty OK marriage even though. I guess he liked to do the things himself it lied in his personality. To do those things himself. To day he still do those things in his new life and enjoy it.
@Indianprince (102)
• India
31 Dec 07
I think we do tell each other what and how to do at time, sometimes it might cross a point where you are invading in someone's personal likings or habits. I think you should not overdo it and also important how do you put it across is equally important along with the purpose of that thing..Nothing should be forceful and out of ego or some other motive other than love,caring and concern
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
31 Dec 07
I would not mind people telling me something if I know I do thing the wrong way. What I do not like is someone are trying to changing me to something I am not. Accordingly to my ex way trying to make me do things the only way that was alright for him I had to make a statement. I do things my way if they are OK and not wrong way, he do things his way and we get the same results. So I do not think I was hush to him at all. And He did approached that to me and understood that we can do same things in different ways and still get the same results.
