What if you found out that a new friend of yours was gay?
By emagyne
@emagyne (664)
United States
January 2, 2008 8:30pm CST
I met this girl from my job, we work at home but we have to chat back and forth to handle things. And over the days, we have spoke alot about our relationships and she admitted to being a lesbian. It doesnt bother me at all but she told me that alot of people that she thought was her friends disowned her when they found out, even family members. I know it would be hard to deal with, especially if this was your child or close relative but I dont think i would disown them and not have anything to do with them anymore. Thats just stupid. I told her that I would be her friend and she could talk to me because she has alot of issues going on right now but no one to talk to. How would you deal or approach that?
6 people like this
8 responses
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
3 Jan 08
Well if she was my relative or friend, then i wouldn't disown her because she was a lesbian. However, upon only talking to the girl over the phone and chatting with her, i would have to wonder about how much of her story is the truth and how much could be or is a lie. I dont have much faith in peoples ability to tell the truth much anymore! I guess for good reason. Also, i dont enjoy drama of any sorts, so i tend not to get involved too much in peoples lives that are not close to me. Maybe this is a sheltered lonely way to live, but it makes my life a lot simpler and i like life to be as simple and stress free as possible? dont we all ? Best way to do this... Avoid drama and people who seem to RADIATE drama :)
@Adoniah (7513)
• United States
3 Jan 08
You might be surprised by how many people you know that are actually gay that just haven't told you because it is none of your business. I mean I don't go around telling everyone that I am a heterosexual,so why should someone who is gay have to go around telling everyone? It is their life. It is their right to keep it as private as the wish. No one should make any judgements one way or the other. It is none of their business. Get on with you own life everyone has enough problems of their own without sticking their noses into someone elses business.
1 person likes this
@emagyne (664)
• United States
3 Jan 08
My goodness! I sense alot of hostility towards my post and obviously people who cant read well. I didnt say that people had to go around telling everyone. She told me and she is going through alot because of people who she thought were here friends do not associate with her anymore but I am still her friend, regardless. Like I told the previous person, chill out. Goodness. But like my mom always said, a hit dog will holla.
But nonetheless,
Thanks for responding!!
1 person likes this
@Adoniah (7513)
• United States
3 Jan 08
I did not mean to jump on you I just get tired of people making a big deal out of someone being gay. Yes they sometimes need special attention by close friends because the world is full of gay bashers. And about half the people they meet assume they are HIV positive. This is why I reacted the way I did. I care for dying AIDS patients that no one loves. Their families have deserted them and their friends have deserted them as well as the lover who gave it to them. One beautiful person just passed on and I miss them even though no one else does.
1 person likes this
@gorgeousdreamer (1034)
• Philippines
4 Jan 08
I will respect my friend for a gay or lesbian. If I am really a true friend, I will respect them for what and who they are. Nothing will change with our friendship. I also have lesbian friends and nothing has changed when I found out about it even though I don't want to be like them or get influenced. They also respected me.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
3 Jan 08
I would say the same thing you did. I have nothing against anyone if they are gay. I think that as long as they find someone to love and they are happy, thats great for them. Its great that you are there for her to help her talk about things that are bothering her. I feel bad for her that she has lost family and friends.
@emagyne (664)
• United States
3 Jan 08
I know, its awful but its true. Im just a cool - around the way person. I dont judge or discriminate against noone. I think she will be fine, she just needs to find her new friends that accept her for who she is and not who she chooses to be with. And thanks for reading this post and not taking it out of context like some have.
@ClarusVisum (2163)
• United States
3 Jan 08
You saying "I know it would be hard to deal with" confuses me. It's never been hard to deal with for me, anymore than learning that someone is left-handed. Homosexuality and left-handedness are both about 10% of the population that are just wired differently, and I basically treat both groups with the same, "oh, okay" attitude. I don't see the big deal.
To me, there would be nothing to "deal with." It's just like learning any other little fact about someone, in my opinion.
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
3 Jan 08
I have no problem with that. There are so many of them that I have come to accept that homosexuals are here to stay. I can be friends with gays as long as they don't touch me.
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
3 Jan 08
Many people are homophobic and immediately think that if you have a Lesbian as a friend they would try to hit on you blah, blah, instead of being flattered and saying no thanks I'm straight, they just walk away from a friend. Sad but true. I have some Lesbian friends and not once have they ever tried to hit on me or flirt, my friends actually don't like straight women anyway. So it's great that you are her friend regardless, sounds like she could really use one.
