How To Decide?Husband or Lover?

You need to decide what to do about your marriage first. Remove the lover from the situation. Is your family important enough to you to try to work things out? Being in love with your spouse is something you CAN control. It's a matter of energy. If you don't want to put the work into your marriage, then you have your answer. Just remember that once you aren't putting so much work into your lover you will probably not be madly in love with him any longer.

i think it depends heavily on the age of your children. if they are still young and likely to be traumatized by a shift in family life then i would say it would be selfish to put your own happiness before that of your children. however if they are older and more likely to understand and support you, then its a different story. eventually your heart will go where it wants to, no matter what you rationally decide to do.

My gut feeling is to say stay with the husband and try to work things out for the kids sake. If it's too miserable and nobody is genuinely happy. including the kids, it might be a good idea to move out and make a decision later. Also depends on if the lover is single and available and can offer a good life. Personally, I wouldn't want to jump right into another relationship but would allow time and see what develops.

That's a big thing to decide. May I drop some shallow opinion? If your husband is cheating behind your back, cacth him wet and see his attitude. If he apology, think about the children and forgive him. Be with him and make sure he wont repeat the fault. If he boldly did't even say sorry or what, go on with your love. But, will you not thing about your children? Make sure the children know the truth! Their father is cheating and their mother have an affair because of their father's act. Make sure they want to live with you and their "new father". 1 point to think, will your lover want your children as well? If he doesn't, that's sellfish and meaning he doesn't loves you with what you have, he'll cheat you one day. But, at last before anything worst happen. If you believe in God, do pray for His guidance.

This is something that you would have to decide for yourself... but if I you are not happy with your husband and no longer love him, dont stay and suffer.... if you in love with someone else that is also another reason not to stay!! You need to decide what is best for you, where you would be the most happiest.